I've seen people post on this subject in the past, but I guess I didn't pay close enough attention because it seemed so far down the road for me. As you can see from my ticker, I've been at this for a while. I really do feel terrific, and I am very proud of myself. I chose my goal weight as a weight I remember being able to maintain for a longer period of time than any lower weight. At 175 I would still be technically overweight. Right now I am still in the obese range and have 13-14 pounds to lose to be just overweight... With that said, I have to admit I'm struggling more to "stick" to a calorie deficit. Everywhere I go I get comments on my weight loss...I love compliments they are great. Even the not so eloquent one that come across a little weird sounding are still welcome....BUT I keep getting comments about how I am getting too thin...."Oh you don't need to lose 30 more pounds...NO WAY" You'll look sick. Good grief, I'm still FAT...in 30 pounds I'll STILL be fat. Anyway, I have modified my answer to be not so truthful. Lately when someone asks how much more I want to lose I say, "I'm not sure".
I've overcome a lot on this ride and I have learned that people are just busy bodies by nature, but it still drives me nuts!
You'll know when you are comfortable in your own skin and at what size. Don't let others judge you or persuade you! You are the only one who needs to watch your blood pressure, heart condition, joint aches, and you know better than anyone what you look like without clothes! If you are comfortable in a size 16 or an 8 -just do whatever it takes for your comfort and health!
I do think that telling someone you have more weight to lose - you want to lose 30 more pounds, or whatever - can really put them between a rock and a hard place.
If they say "oh yeah, 30 lbs would be good" - you're going to think "you're saying I'm still fat".
If they say "no, you don't need to lose any more weight" - you're going to think "what do you know about it anyway?"
I really do think this is one of those areas where our society has become *too* open with personal information. Not because it's too personal to share - I don't care if someone knows what I weigh or what I've lost or how much I want to lose - but because it creates an awkward social situation where the other person can't make an appropriate response.
Unless I *know* the person I'm talking to really well, I generally will tell people how much I've lost and that I'd like to lose "A little more, but I'm not sure how much yet. I'm going to let my body guide me."
Congratulations on a great loss! I find that the less I say about my weight the fewer comments I get. If someone asks how much I have lost , I give a vague answer, such as . "I'm not sure" or " a little ". when asked how much more are you going to lose ; " just enough to be healthy". Then change the subject. I don't know why people feel compelled to comment or ask nosy questions. We are under no obligation to justify our weight loss.
I'm getting many comments about not having much more to lose but, look at my ticker, I've still got another 15 or so pounds to be no longer obese. So when I say I want to lose another 30lbs people think I'm mad. So I've started saying "I'm not sure but I know I'm not where I want to be yet". I really want to lose another 2" off my waist (to get to a 30) but don't know how much I need to weigh to achieve this.
[QUOTE=PhotoChick;2464272]I do think that telling someone you have more weight to lose - you want to lose 30 more pounds, or whatever - can really put them between a rock and a hard place.[QUOTE]
I agree with Photo Chick on this one. If I pursue a compliment with a statement about wanting to lose more weight, I usually indicate that "I'd like to lose x more weight because I've been there before & I felt my healthiest at X weight/size."
That way they don't feel pressured b/c I've indicated my reasons upfront.
I get that comment a lot. Visually, I look very different than what I looked in January, because I lost a total of about 17 inches or so which I attribute to sticking up with exercise and weight lifting as opposed to just reducing my weight.
Often people ask me why I still go the gym when I already lost all the weight I needed to lose (i.e. that I need to lose in their opinion) and when I am so skinny - duh, hello!!!! because I am loving it!! - but in order to prevent further discussion from taking place, when somebody asks me if I still want to lose more weight I tell them I don't focus on my weight and that I focus on my body fat % instead. Which is a true answer. I have a body fat % in mind which I would like to achieve and I don't know it would mean another 10 or 15 or 20 pounds off.
Most people don't know anything about body fat % concept, so the discussion is quickly over.
1. It's just really awkward and hard to agree that someone needs to lose weight without making them feel bad.
2. Some people are more critical of their own body size than your body size. We all know the size 6 woman who thinks she's fat and says you're fine. Many of those women really mean it.
I just thought of something else I've noticed recently. I don't get that response (oh no, you don't need to lose any more) from other women who have *been there.* I almost feel like I can tell which non-overweight women have been overweight in the past by the way the respond to my weight loss Not that I would make assumptions about people, but I'm getting that impression.
You'll know when you are comfortable, don't stop cause other people tell you too. You are doing this for YOU, not them. When you are comfortable with yourself then it's time to stop. Don't base your goals on what other people say, cause Photochick is right, it puts them in a tough place & often times they don't know how to react to it. :-) You are doing wonderful so far though!
Plus, I've noticed that a lot of people who haven't really ever lost weight, or at least not lost weight deliberately, don't have a concept of the different levels of impact made by different amounts of weight loss. They hear 30 pounds and can't visualize it, they might think it would make a bigger difference than it actually would. Or they might hear you say that you have already lost 129 pounds (wow, by the way! )and not be able to really quantify that in their head either.
You just keep up with what you are doing until you get to a place where you are happy. That is what is important.
I've noticed that a lot of people who haven't really ever lost weight, or at least not lost weight deliberately, don't have a concept of the different levels of impact made by different amounts of weight loss.
I think this is so true. A while back my guy had to describe me ... and he told someone I weighed 120 lbs. Dead serious. And this wasn't something he said to make me feel better, btw, because he wasn't saying it to me - it was truly describing me to someone else who was going to meet me at the airport and he cc'd me on the email: "She has dark short hair, is about 5'4", and about 120lbs."
He knows how much weight I've lost ... we've talked about it and he's always blown away by the progress I've made. Of course we live in different states, so when he seems me, it's always a big change vs. the daily small differences.
But even though he knows how much I've lost and I've told him how much I do weigh (and he's seen me naked), when asked, he thinks I weigh less than I do.
So people really really don't have any idea of weight/size except as it pertains to THEM exactly.
I get that too, but I say after I reach my goal of 50..then I'm doing three new mini-goals of 5lbs each until I reach 150lbs. I want to be back to the size I was when I was 18 and just because someone thinks I don't need to doesn't mean that I should listen to them. I say keep going if you feel you want to. Take those comments as compliments as I do. Never stop!
So people really really don't have any idea of weight/size except as it pertains to THEM exactly.
I think this is true. And why would they know? Most everybody either lies about their weight or keeps it a secret. And even if they didn't, there's really no reason most people would be so familiar with a bunch of height/weight correlations they don't have, and then add to that all the people on this forum at the same height and size but weights that vary sometimes up to 50 pounds, and quite commonly up to 20 pounds.
No way, you don't need to lose more weight.
Not that I would make assumptions about people, but I'm getting that impression.
