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Old 10-29-2008, 04:04 PM   #23
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kaplods's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,383

S/C/G: SW:394/310/180

Height: 5'6"


I don't really post here alot, but I do post here when the topic speaks to me. I definitely feel way outside the mainstream quite often, so I do understand the desire to meet and gather with other people who are "off center." When you're very different from other people in some way, sometimes just meeting other people who are also different (even if it's different in a completely different way) can create a bond. "Hey you're an unmatched colored sock in a sea of white socks too - that's cool!"

Do I consider myself alternative, or just an individual? That's harder to answer. I look very normal. I tend to dress rather conservatively, and my personality is often called "cheerful and upbeat" by others (I hide my inner darkness well). But my way of looking at the world is - well, sometimes very unique.

My husband looks a lot more alternative than I do. I describe his appearance as "biker-viking." 6'2", 350 lbs (more when I met him) with graying hair with still a lot of his natural, many-shades of red hair. He looks "tough" and unconventional, but his beliefs and values are more conservative than you would expect. He's a gamer and still plays with the group he joined in high school. They meet monthly, and members travel for hours (when we were in IL, the drive was 5 hours, but hubby still drove it every month). I tell him we're a strange pair, because I'm normal on the outside and kinda strange in the middle, and he's strange on the outside and kinda normal in the middle.

My husband will often look at me during a conversation and say "you're just not right" (meaning "what planet are you from, anyway?") - but say it with such a mixture of awe and pride - he definitely did get a unique woman.

I remember his mother LOVING me when she met me (because I looked normal, had a great job, and didn't carry some of the emotional baggage of some of hubby's former girlfriends). But I think she started realizing I wasn't going to "fix" her son for her, when she was trying to badger me into getting hubby to get a haircut for our wedding. I guess I sort of did - I asked hubby to get his hair trimmed (about an inch) and braided for the wedding in a long braid down the center of his back (it almost touched his belt).

We horrified both sets of parents by having decks of cards on the reception tables, board games and a boom box instead of a band and dancing at our reception.

I didn't want a diamond for my engagement ring - I wanted an aquamarine, because it's my absolutely favorite stone (and birthstone). The wedding band has diamonds and saphires that surround the aquamarine engagement ring (diamonds because they're my husband's birthstone and saphires because they traditionally represent fidelity).

I didn't realize how abnormal having a non-diamond stone was, until so many people said "I've never seen a blue diamond before," - and I tell them "and you still haven't." I don't know how anyone could mistake an aquamarine for a diamond, but I guess they so expect a diamond that they assume that's what it must be.

Am I alternative? I don't know, but I'm definitely weird - does that count?
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Last edited by kaplods; 10-29-2008 at 04:06 PM.
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