Do you ever think about whether you're "pretty"? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Star2Be · 10-09-2008, 07:52 PM

Okay. I'm pretty sure this is a strange question, but this has been driving me nuts the past couple days, so I thought maybe it would help if you ladies gave me some opinions! Do you ever think about whether you're pretty? Yes, I mean in the very conventional sense, as in, having a pretty face. Personally, I've been overweight my entire life, and I guess I've never really given much thought to the idea... I pretty much did/do (not gonna lie) operate under the assumption that because I'm fat, I'm not pretty in the usual sense, i.e. I'm not the type of girl that will make jaws drop or that a guy would try to pick up based off of her looks. I knew that I had no hope of being "that" kind of pretty when I was very overweight, so it's never been important to me to consider it otherwise.

However, since I've begun to lose weight, and I'm somewhat seeing a "new me" emerging, I guess it's become more and more relevant to me. It's not so much that I CARE about whether or not I am, but I guess I'm just curious! It's impossible to look at yourself with unbiased eyes, and even if I could, I obviously don't have the mind of a man, so I have no idea whether they would find me pretty. I think I have nice eyes, and nice hair, but I don't like my nose, and I dunno; it's hard to determine what exactly makes a person attractive (I know I have trouble pinpointing why I like the guys I do), so how can I possibly guess if I am? I don't know if I have a pretty face... And I'm really curious. I guess I just want to know if I might actually be "that" kind of pretty once I lose weight... Whether I'll turn heads.

Does that make sense?

By the way--YES, I know that being fat does not mean that I'm ugly, and NO I do not think that losing weight is going to make me love myself more, and NO I'm not going to devalue myself if I'm not "pretty," YES I have a very healthy ego, blah blah blah, so please don't psycho-analyze me or whatever.

I swear I'm just being vain/silly/curious, and also wondering whether anyone else ever thinks about this. I remember a member on here once posted something about themselves like "Even after I've lost weight, I won't be pretty" and I guess it kinda stuck with me, because it got me thinking... Will I? Hehe.

mxgirl737 · 10-09-2008, 08:07 PM

Pretty is in the eye of the beholder...or something like that. I think what is conventionally "pretty" to one person...isn't necessarily to the next. I was told numerous times when I was at my heavy weight that I would be pretty if I'd just lose some weight. ...That sort of sticks with you.

I've always thought of myself as decent... but I guess I've never really gotten the attention or whatever it was that I wanted when I was heavier. Now that I've lost weight I'm finding that I'm having a really, really, really hard time trusting and believing that the guys I meet and have gone out with could really be interested in me and think I'm pretty. I don't know. It's weird.

Annita · 10-09-2008, 08:25 PM

no i don't think i'm pretty.
I was seriously ugly when i was in jr.high and people kept telling me how ugly i was back then so it got into my mind.
Even though i tried so hard to improve myself, but i still find it's not enough.
Now, people told me "you're cute" "you're pretty", but i just don't believe it anymore.
I wish someday i could see the new me in my mirror, not the girl in jr.high anymore.... I really need to boost my confidence. >"<

WormwoodDoll · 10-09-2008, 08:34 PM

There's times my make up and hair turns out perfect and I feel confident and pretty. I, too, have heard from my grandma "oh you'll be such a knock out when you lose weight" and "you have such a pretty face". Meh, meh meh.

And then of course there's times I feel so ugly, I get really disgusted with myself. But lately I've had more ups then downs. I can notice the changes in my body, and I am so happy about them! I just get frustrated the changes won't happen quicker.

FreeSpirit · 10-09-2008, 08:47 PM

To be honest, I don't think I'm very attractive at all. Before I was with my husband I had been in alot of bad relationships, because I didn't think I could find anyone else.

Luckily my husband treats me like a princess, whether I'm pretty or not.

luvja · 10-09-2008, 08:49 PM

I always thought I was "average" looking, no matter what I weighed. I don't think I'm too hard on the eyes. But, I think losing weight would make me look much better.

jahjah1223 · 10-09-2008, 08:50 PM

Ive ALWAYS felt pretty , Fat or not .

caligirl98 · 10-09-2008, 09:12 PM

From the time I was 12 years old till I was like 22, I thought I was dog ugly. So bad I hated going places and would cry when I had to leave the house. I don't know if it was necessarily my facial features or my clothes or the way I wore my hair, but I was damn sure that Fat = ugly. I had (have?) a total ugly ducking/swan complex...I thought when I grew up, I would shed the weight magically and suddenly be beautiful. I think that may be why I didn't seriously start to try to lose weight until I was 21; because I didn't magically become beautiful over night.

I've had jacked up self esteem all of my life and I still suffer from it. I know it's different now...I have the diary entries to prove that I was a sad, sad case back in the day. In my own defense, I really was a funny looking teenager. After I started losing weight, I started feeling better about myself and I could finally look in the mirror and not cringe. I'm actually more on the vain side. The problem is, I think I look good (in the non conceited way, that is), but I feel that everyone else still sees me as the funny looking (read: ugly) teenager I used to be. And if I'm completely honest with myself, I think I still have the thought process that if only I lost weight, I'll finally be pretty.

But I do wonder if that is the case...What if I still look in the mirror after losing 100 pounds and still dislike myself?

raw23 · 10-09-2008, 09:31 PM

I'm comfortable with myself. I think I'm pretty and I get compliments. I dont think about it too much... I'm just comfortable with it.

yesitsmeagain · 10-09-2008, 09:33 PM

I'm definetely not traditionally pretty- I'm too unique looking and my forehead is way too high for that! I guess I used to be sad about it, but since adulthood I could really care less, especially since my fiance thinks I look great, heh.

I don't think "being pretty" has anything to do with weight, though.

rachiebach · 10-09-2008, 09:51 PM

I don't think I'm all that attractive. I dunno. Some days I think, wow I look good today! And then others, not so much.

I'm really curious about it too. No one has ever told me I wasn't good looking. A few guys seem to think I'm attractive. My friends and family keep telling me how pretty I am, but seriously, what friend or family member is going to tell you you're anything but beautiful?

I would love to get an honest opinion about it-but maybe I wouldn't haha. I agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I think that as a society there is a general concensus on who is good looking and who is not. I mean if there wasn't then we wouldn't have models or heart-throbs, right? So I would be interested to know if I was actually considered pretty or not. But as I said, I'll probably never get an honest opinion because how people feel about you usually colors how they see you (if they love you, they think you're perfect, if they hate they can always find fault).

Iconised Ghost · 10-09-2008, 10:41 PM

its something that im working on. I think im kind of awkward looking, like the bits of my face are nice but not really in the right place or the right proportions to each other. But lately ive been feeling more confident, and prettier. Hmmm...

KitgetsFit · 10-09-2008, 10:55 PM

Well... this is kinda awful... but it's the truth... I feel bad about myself and my level of attractiveness because of my weight. If a guy does look at me in *possibly* a way of being attracted to me, I scowl and look away. It's just natural impulse to me because of childhood teasing, I assume guys are criticizing me/making fun of me.

But whenever I see a butterface (a.k.a. slang for women with "perfect" bodies- but-her-face!- ugly face.) I secretly feel a little superior. I think I have pretty features, just overweight. Someone needs to cue guys in- anyone can lose weight. It's so much harder to fix ugly!

HealthPNut · 10-09-2008, 10:58 PM

Star2be- I can tell by your picture that you're pretty!!!
Everyone is different when they lose weight too, there's no way to tell whether you'll be prettier or not, some people get ugly even! They're normally the ones that lost weight waaaay too quickly though.
I've always wanted to see myself through a stranger's eyes. I try to tell by pictures, but even those don't show it right... sometimes the lighting is off, sometimes it's a bad angle, or I was making a funny face. I think I'm pretty some times... some times I even think I look gorgeous! But other times, especially in pictures, I think I look ugly! I don't like my hairline at all (I think it's too far back on the sides and I don't like how the widow's peak looks on my face... I don't like the profile of my nose... I don't like my jaw line (it's way too soft even when I'm skinny).
It's something that I'm working on though... and I actually think I'm improving.
Ok, rambling now, gonna stop.

SavingServo · 10-09-2008, 11:31 PM

I had a long and pronounced ugly phase from about 12-17. So that sort of messes up my perception of myself sometimes. I was overweight, had bad hair, bad glasses, bad clothes. But since starting college I've grown into myself somewhat at least and started dressing better and got contacts (and nicer glasses).

I think I'm decent looking now. I've lost a bit of the weight, and I know how to dress myself better now, which, for me, was a giant part of it.