[GradPhase]

to be motivated, and it's completely bumming me out.

I was doing SO well for the first half of the summer. Then I moved in with my sister and completely fell off track due to several very good (albeit still ridiculous) reasons.

I got down to 139 and was feeling incredible, and now I'm back up to 152. I started Depo, had REALLY bad cravings, and comfort ate. I'm an all or nothing girl - so once I screwed it up I just kept going.

Now none of my clothes fit again, I feel like garbage, and I'm having a really hard time caring again.

The boyfriend pretends not to notice my weight gain, and I pretend not to care. And here I am.

I'm lowering my phone bill so I can afford a gym membership, and I want to start up the C25K again, so I'll be hitting the gym three days a week. I only drink water (lots), black coffee, and vitamin water (maybe half of one per day?) so no super super sugary drinks. For breakfast I have oatmeal and a peach with a small glass of skim milk - but then for lunch and dinner, it's whatever is easy and cheap on campus.

Basically it's all half assed and it's no wonder that I'm blowing up like a balloon But I'm starting to try again, and the boyfriend is getting involved too (he's joining me in the new gym membership )

Any encouragement and advice is warmly welcomed.

So there it is - I'm back and ready to start over.

[yesitsmeagain]

Welcome back! I'm in the same boat as you. Did you know that eating entire 2L cartons of ice cream in a day causes you to gain weight? I do now!

[JulieJ08]

I think of motivation as something that's really nice *when* I have it. So nice, in fact, that I'm always up for new ideas for motivation. *BUT* it's a want, not a need. I still do all these good things everyday, whether I'm feeling motivated or not. It really helps to realize that it's icing on the cake, not the cake itself. Bad analogy, I guess .

[ghost]

I'm glad your back my fellow Alaskan! I'm not glad that you gained, but I'm glad you are finding your motivation again. Brrr, is Anch cold? I heard you all had a frost forecast for yesterday! I'm freezing, its so rainy and miserable out here in Dutch.

[mamaspank]

Eskimo -

Big hug. I remember seeing your pic, and I know you still beautiful, just got to get back on track. And you're not starting over, which is awesome. You're ten pounds from where you started. You did it once, and you can do it again. Cut yourself a little slack. Being a student is hard work, hard on the mind and body.

[just keep swimming]

Welcome back! I'm sure every one of us has fallen off at one point or another (I know I have, but I fell off for TWO YEARS and gained back everything I had lost!) Congrats for getting right back on so quickly. Remember: failure isn't falling down, it's staying there. I bet you lose some water weight pretty quickly too.

[GradPhase]

It's not the frost that's so terrible, Ghost. It's this dreaded RAIN (much like there, I'd imagine). We've only had two days of almost-sun since I've been home and I hear it was even worse all summer. It's so hard to be motivated to get out and do anything when it's so wet and cold outside. I cannot wait for the snow just so it dries out a bit. The termination dust has never looked so warm!

Thanks for all the kind words, ladies

MeAgain - I've been eating about a pint of ice cream every night for the last three weeks. When it's cold out, all I want are those fatty calcium-rich calories. It's all I could do but just sit here and wait for my thighs to grow! At least we learned our lesson!

Julie - I once read a quote about motivation being the thing that leaves you when you need it most - and how true that is. But Gosh what I wouldn't do for some cake

And thank you, MamaSpank and Swimming. You're absolutely right. I'm sure once I take some of my own pressures off of myself, I'll get right back in to the swing of things. Right now it just seems too daunting and overwhelming. But regardless. Monday night I'm back on the treadmill!

[Transformer08]

Heya! Just wanted to chime in and say I sympathize. My motivation waxes and wanes. But I take comfort in knowing that when I go off track, I think overall I'm still making "better" decisions that before I started this whole process. (No where but up!!!)

What's important is that you're back! Everybody falls down, what's important is that you get up again and keep going.

[grinnyface]

Welcome back to on track. Motivation is such a hard concept to get a grasp on. It all depends on your state of mind. You just have to be aware of how ur thinking and be able to change ur way of thinking. even if it is just for the moment enough to get those 15 mins of cardio done(or whatever works for you). Whenever a negative direction of thought enters, like (I'm too tired or who cares), just take a conscience minute to turn it around and make yourself smile while you're doing it. that way you'll be hot body and beautiful simultaneously!

[junebug41]

Hey welcome back! Good to see you around again

It seems like you've done what you need to do to get yourself back into the groove. You can do this!

[sh3l5]

you can do it....