[makinthechange]

for those that have reached their weightloss goal, or are well on their way, did you find yourself starting and stopping over and over again? I am SO discouraged, I lost 30lbs so I know I have it in me, but I keep doing good for a few days, and then falling off the wagon again, and its so frustrating, im starting to wonder if I can even do it. I hate this defeated attitude, so Im wondering if there is anyone that has been there...

[PhotoChick]

I've been trying to lose weight off and on since I was in high school. I'm 40 now. I've kind of lost count of the number of times I've started and stopped.

This time I've been losing steadily for about 18 months (with a couple of unplanned "maintenance" periods in the middle there) and am hoping to reach my goal by next spring, if not earlier.

I suspect this time I'll keep it off for good. My habits have changed completely - both with regard to eating and exercise.

.

[bunny43]

Well, I guess I never really have failed as I keep trying to lose weight. I think failing is giving up all together. I've been on a healthy journey since February 2007. It's now August 2008 and I've lost only 50 pounds, which is good! But, I have another at least 10-15 to lose. I am in no hurry to lose this weight. No one is chasing me....I am not attending a high school reunion and I don't need to fit into any dress! Slow and steady for me. Which in turn has seemed to help greatly.

You haven't failed, you are here asking for support. That's a good thing!

gail

[makinthechange]

I guess failed was a poor choice of word..thats why I put it in quotes, cause your right, it technically isnt failing if you didnt give up...how bout...how many times were you set back..

[bunny43]

Originally Posted by makinthechange

I guess failed was a poor choice of word..thats why I put it in quotes, cause your right, it technically isnt failing if you didnt give up...how bout...how many times were you set back.

As of this latest health journey, no set backs at all. Sure a pound or two gained along the way, but have not quit or fallen off the wagon. I guess my mindset is very determined and I have to desire to be healthy in mind, body and spirit.

Sometimes taking baby steps with a new way of life so to speak is the best thing to do. Once you have conquered let's say exercising...then you can add eating healthy into the mix.

I wish I could offer you better suggestions. Sorry....

[retiredone]

I've been at this forever, too. Don't be too discouraged because that only becomes self-defeating. Stick with 3FC and maybe find a real life support group like TOPS or WW to help encourage you. If you change your old eating habits and lifestyle it will become easier for you. It takes more than a few months to change a life time of bad habits so don't be too hard on yourself. Make each defeat a learning opportunity to know what not to do next time. And 30 pounds is an awesome weight loss. You must have been doing something right.

I find I work very well with goals. I write them down somewhere and review them on and off. I need accountability so I record everything down in the 50+ support threads. My goals are achievable for me so I don't get too discouraged. One of my goals is to lose 5 pounds for the month of August and that is quite achievable. You can make a list of goals to work towards--they don't all have to be weight related but they will all make you be a better person while you're losing weight.

All the best on your journey to health.

[JayEll]

I "failed" every time I got to the end of a "diet" and decided I was done and no longer needed to pay attention to what I ate. And, that was every time before now! I would say--seven times? I wasn't counting.

Jay

[Moonring05]

This is the first diet I have been on, and so far I have had the good fortune of not falling off the diet. I did want some French fries the other day, but it really wasn't like a craving. I think it was more due to boredom and loneliness because my parents were gone for a few days. (And I didn't eat the fries.)

I think a big reason I gained the weight was from boredom, late night snacking, and over eating. So I think I am going to be able to lose the weight and maintain it if I stop eating when I am bored, late night snacking, and over eating.

I think if I can lose the weight then anyone can! So don't give up.

[KLK]

I succeeded in losing 80 lbs during my first serious weightloss attempt that began 5 years ago. I've successfully kept that weight off since then, and while I know that that is a major loss and a successful maintanence, I haven't been able to actually achieve my goal weight; I keep hitting a plateau at the exact size and weight I am currently at. It's terribly frustrating and that feeling of hopelessness has caused me to regain and lose the same 5 - 10 lbs these last two years.
I do occasionally eat 'off plan' but with one exception from earlier this week (where I polished off an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's... 1200 calories!!!) I eat 90% on plan. If I do eat off plan, it's usually nothing like my B&J feast (which is very unlike me, but something I consciously chose to do bc I NEEDED icecream, so I didn't binge). But I've learned not to count those slip ups as "falling off my diet" anymore because it only leads to me beating myself up over a cookie.

[bunny43]

I too eat out of boredom. I've actually have a 'post it' in front of me that says: If bored, DO NOT EAT! Then I have a list of other options such as: Drink water, do a 20 minute exercise DVD, shut my eyes for a few minutes, paint my nails etc.

I too have been on a plateau of sorts for the last 6 months. I am not giving up and actually do not feel like giving up, which to me is half the battle.

[kaplods]

I've been dieting since I was 5 years old. I've lost significant amounts of weight 3 times before, only to gain it back, plus extra

1979 - 1983 Lost 70 lbs to 155 lbs with prescription diet pills and disordered eating (often eating only on weekends). Doctor lowered my goal to 140 (from 150) when I was struggling just to lose the last five pounds. I got so discouraged that I would ever be able to lose another 15 lbs, so I gave up. Still kicking myself that I didn't tell the doctor to go to blazes, and work on maintaining the loss I'd accomplished. But, like many of us, I figured that if I couldn't get to my goal weight, none of what I'd already accomplished made a difference (stupid). In my defense, I was a teenager.

1990 Lost 60 lbs to be in a friend's wedding with Nutrisystem. After the wedding, I started backsliding.

1994 Lost 60 lbs having joined TOPS after herniating a disc in my back. I got a job 70 miles away and decided I could do it on my own.

I've had a lot of smaller successes and failures, which leads me to this time. I've sort of been on this path for three years. Three years ago, we moved to Wisconsin and over the next several months lost 20 lbs without trying. About two years ago, I started working on getting more active and eating healthier, but without specific weight loss goals. I maintained the 20 lb loss, but didn't lose any more - though I did become more active, and my strength and stamina improved. About a year ago, I had a consult with a doctor who recommended that I stack my birth control to control my PMDD and severe hormonal binging, and go with a lower carb diet because of my insulin resistance (my family doctor had already given me this recommendation, but I was hesitant to try a low carb diet, because of skepticism). So hubby and I joined TOPS last year, and I've been trying to use South Beach principles with an exchange plan, and I've lost over 50 lbs.

It has never, ever taken me a year to lose 50 lbs before, and that really makes me discouraged when I think about it that way. However, I also have NEVER had three years of maintenance or stability (I had about 2.5 years once, of stability when I vowed never to diet again, that was before the herniated disc), let alone a 3 year downward trend before.

Instead of losing fast at first, and slowing as I go, that hasn't been my experience this time, unlike all the others. My weight loss is speeding up as I go, gaining momentum, I suppose. With all of my health issues, I think it's because the stronger I get, the more I can accomplish and the more calories I can burn. However, I've vowed not to worry about that. I'll do my best, and the weight will come off at whatever pace it does.

I've vowed to be a TOPS member for life. Hubby and I took officer positions with our club (he treasurer, me co-leader) to support the club, and to strengthen our commitment and responsibility to losing weight.

[mollymom]

There is a saying about Thomas Edison and his attempt to invent the light bulb. He apparently tried over 2000 combinations before he succeeded. However he never said he failed..he just said he found 2000 ways not to make a light bulb! I try to remember that.

Can I say I have succeeded...not yet..but I know 2000 ways to succeed. It is just up to me to apply everything that I know. I think it is important to remember that we are human...and humans aren't perfect. I make mistakes, I fall off the wagon..but as long as I keep trying and my successes exceed my failures..then I can't help but reach my goal. Reaching any goal is rarely a straight line...as my grandmother used to say:

"It is a long road that has no turns".

I like to think of a chart that I have seen tracking the stock market since 1900. The line goes up and down, but for every ten year period the ending point is always better than the starting point. That is how I want to be! As long as I reach a better ending point than starting point every month..I am on my way.

Don't give up...don't get discouraged...just be aware...and keep on faking ti until you make it!

[makinthechange]

thank you all for your encouragement..I just kept wondering if I could really lose the weight...and now I know that Its hard for everyone..but its hard for everyone, and its just a matter of starting over everyday, not worrying about the past, but doing your best for the future..

[spinky]

I don't think there's enough memory on the 3FC server to list them all. I don't consider them a failure as much as a return to fluffiness. Everyone has setbacks.

[Beach Patrol]

I've never failed.

I've always lost the weight I wanted to lose.

I've just never *kept* it off.

I don't consider that *failure*.

I consider it *maintenance challenged*.