Hey Chrysalis,
Sorry to hear that you're so unhappy...
Yeah, I've been there before.
What had to happen for me is that my health and weight loss had to be a priority. Put another way, it had to be more important than convenience or other things I wanted to do. That meant I had to make time to exercise, for one thing.
I was not sure I had the time. In the past I had tried, but "things kept getting in the way," and after a few weeks or months I would stop going to the gym so much, stop riding my bike every other day, stop walking around the track... you get the idea. Yes, I had to work. Yes, I did go to school during that time.
But this last time, I realized, as another 3FC member pointed out, that we all have exactly the same amount of time. 24/7/365. And we do have CHOICES about how to use that time. I figured out that I could afford an hour and a half each day to exercise, whether it was walking, the gym, hand weights, or a combination... And so I made it part of my schedule. It was on there in my schedule book just the same as any work project, any meeting, any chore. It wasn't relegated to a spot after I had done everything else I "had" to do--I found out that it was too easy not to do it if I left it like that.
As for food, I had to make a lot of choices there. I am a calorie counter, because I needed my foods to fit my own style. I figured out how and what I would eat, and I tracked my foods and calories with a computer tool. I still do! And again, I had to realize I had CHOICES, and I wasn't just at the "mercy" of what other people wanted or decided to do or chose to eat.
So, that was how I made this change in my life a priority. It wasn't always easy, but it was better than doing a half-hearted attempt and failing, or starting out really gung-ho and then dropping the plan because "something came up..." I had to keep on going. I used charts, I kept records, whatever it took to stay with it. And, I found it really helped to visit 3FC and read other people's stories.
Good luck, Chrysalis! I hope my experience can help you.
Jay