Posting and reading from others on this site is like coming home. You know that corny line in cheers, 'where everybody knows your name.' You may not know much about me personally but in reading your replies I feel like you know my secrets inside.
It is so wonderful to write in a place where we are not judged or made to feel bad. I can make myself feel so bad after binging that no-one else could come close anyway! I am returning to weight watchers tomorrow, if only to assess and keep track of where I am weight wise. I don't think I will be following it to the letter, as all it does is make you focus on food more (like I need help doing that!), but just trying one day at a time to not binge.
The last 5 days I have managed not to over eat, and although I will always have to be vigilant, maybe the key for me at least is to share my problem more and not be so ashamed. The reasons I began to medicate myself with food are long gone, and now it is just a self destructive habit. It takes 6 weeks to form a new one so they say, but I don't really believe yet that I will be truly free of this. Perhaps I never will but I will learn to live with it and control it more. Perhaps that is my lesson. I don't know. I agree though that I have no wish to hide in the kitchen scoffing the leftovers as I listen out for the family and then pretend I was only putting it away. Like you, I don't want to pass on this unhealthy attitude to food. My boys are so beautiful, I want them to stay that way.