Oh my heart goes out to you. Last night the same thing happened to me. If it wasn't moving I shoved it into my mouth and feeling terrible the whole time.
I work six days a week and when I came home I just knew that I was going to eat. The after affects are terrible, sometimes I think I am going to choke on my own vomit in the middle of the night it backs up into my throat. Am I crazy?
I have been reading a lot lately about loving myself after these binges (which is very hard to do but I have been trying). I need to love me at these times because I am hurting so much. Who else could give me such tender care. IF I CAN HURT ME AFTER BINGES WITH SELF HATING TALK THEN I ALSO HAVE THE POWER TO LOVE ME.