It seems I have reached the point that I always reach a couple of weeks into a diet. I'm struggling tonight. I don't know what is wrong with me, but for some reason I always think that if I don't see dramatic weight loss right away (which I know is unhealthy!), then the diet isn't "working" and I should just give up. That's how I'm feeling right now. I don't know why I'm having these feelings - I haven't weighed myself yet this week, or bought clothes, or done any of the things that usually trigger these thoughts.
I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP THIS TIME!!!!! I really don't.
Why are my thoughts so irrational when it comes to weight loss? My bf and I are cooking a big Italian dinner for a large group tomorrow night, and I'm worried that I will just gorge myself. Why? I am totally in charge of what I choose to eat. I can choose to fill up on salad instead of pasta. But I'm worried that I won't. Why does dieting make me feel out of control, when I'm so much more in control now than I was two weeks ago?
I really didn't start to see a difference until I had lost about 20 pounds. But, I could tell a big difference in my attitude and the way I felt. I think those two things are equally important to seeing a physical change. It feels great to be in control. Just remember, you are in control, and with a strong will, you will continue to look better and feel better. I have felt the way you have many times. I look back a a pic of where I started (and, boy, it is hard to look at for me) and it makes me realize how hard I have worked. Then I look at a pic of what I am striving for and I just feel reenergized.
I have screwed up so many times, but I start fresh the next meal. It is never too late to start over. If I gorge myself at one sitting, I just have light meals for however many meals it takes to get back on track. The only way to succeed is to give yourself a little breathing room to mess up. It only makes reaching your goal that much sweeter, to know that you weren't completely miserable in accomplishing it.
I think if you overthink things, it makes you start to doubt why you ever thought you could do this in the first place. I look at my weight loss as a beginning to the second chapter of my life. I let things get out of control, but now I am back in the driver's seat.
I have dieted a couple other times in my life, and this is the only time it has ever worked, I mean, really worked. I know it is because I don't just quit after I screw up once, twice, or however many times I have screwed up.
Good luck, Girl! You have already began chipping away and are getting closer yet to see that fat ole diamond!
I definitely know how you feel. And I know that part of that feeling is: if I allow myself to screw up tomorrow, I'm off the hook! I messed up, it's over, now I can eat whatever I want. It sounds like you're already preparing to go overboard tomorrow. At least then you can be 'right', right? Because you just knew it would happen that way?
Remember what your goal is. The thought process I described above will not get you there. Plan A is to keep things under control at your event - start with a big salad, limit your portion sizes.
Plan B is ALWAYS to get back on track RIGHT AWAY. Not next week, not tomorrow morning - RIGHT AWAY.
It's hard.......we all want to see the pounds go away fast......and for some of us they do. You're going to be fine. Can you eat a huge salad before the rest of that wonderful Italian dinner is served? That might help physically curb the thought of eating more than you would like to. And just remember......you don't have to eat a lot this time because.......that same food that you love will still be there a month down the road or 2 months or 6 months down the road. Sometimes i think our bodies/minds want to eat what we shouldn't because somewhere deep inside there's a "scarcity" issue. Try only eat what you know you can at this dinner and promise yourself the same dinner as a reward sometime in the near future when you've lost a bit more.
It can be really hard when there's tempting food around. When I got started I just didn't put myself in situations like that, I didn't trust myself.
But when I did finally go to parties and other situations where there would be a lot of food around, I really tried to visualize my success. I might imagine myself filling my plate with salad and not even eating any pasta that night (won't there be leftovers?)... after all, if I can't have control over it after one serving, maybe I shouldn't have that serving.
Or I would bring a food that I knew I loved but that was really healthy and that I could easily have a serving of.
Oh, and no alcohol! You are not only drinking your calories, but it makes it easier to give in to the food!
I think this is alot of mind over matter... for me if I obsess about the food I'm going to be eating before hand and keep telling myself I CAN'T eat it or I CANT have a second helping.... then I will turn rabid and I will not be able to control it ( even after I've eaten a big salad ,I could eat everything in the house and still want it after LOL) ... my new approach is to stop myself when I'm thinking about it and just not think of it at all.... " I'm not gonna want a HUGE plate and second servings , I will just eat a small portion and be full ... why am I so worried.. its no big deal! ) you HAVE to allow yourself to have things even if its just a tiny tiny amount and never tell yourself you CAN'T have it at ALL... or I think your mind will ultimately just go into "oh krap" and want a lot of it too just to make sure incase its NEVER gonig to get it again !!! (hence gorging ) it will be a big power struggle ....
rather then thinking you can't just think I don't want... and most of all just try not to think of it to much! - thats not to say you can't plan for things in advance but just try to stay away from the "negative" thoughts. don't worry about it so much!
I hope any of this makes sense to you and helps , I can't seem to put into words what I'm really trying to say
Last edited by onesullengurl; 06-25-2008 at 08:52 AM.
( even after I've eaten a big salad ,I could eat everything in the house and still want it after LOL) ... my new approach is to stop myself when I'm thinking about it
I'm with you. For me, eating the foods I love is not about being hungry. Unfortunately, eating a big salad before hand won't stop me from eating way too much of one of my favorite foods. I just have to make up my mind that I'm going to keep to one serving. Sometimes it helps if I casually make a comment to someone else in the group that I'm watching what I eat, that way I feel more accountable.
I also can relate to the "it's not working/it's not worth it" feeling. I've been there many a time. I saw a great comment from someone else saying some days the scale just reaches up and slaps you in the face in spite of everything you're doing. Try and think back to what motivated you to start this process in the first place, and KNOW that if you give it time, it will work.
Losing weight is a major head trip. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming and out of our control. But it is within our control, of course, and only our control. You lift the fork to your mouth. You are in charge. Which is GOOD. You possess the power to change your body. How cool is that?
When I face similar situations (and we all do--you are not alone) I try to focus on behaviors. What can I control? We control our daily nutrition and movement. Control those pieces as best as you can, and the scale/clothes/weight loss will take care of themselves.
As for the Italian dinner, you are lucky! You and your boyfriend are cooking it! Can you tweak the recipes? Can you make a veggie lasagna with lowfat cheese? Can you add lean protein to the salad? Make sure there is something FABULOUS and on plan for you! Can you afford to make a seafood dish (I know you said large group---and that probably means a budget!) Cause if everyone else is digging into heart attack versions of Italian cuisine, it will be hard to stick to a salad---especially if there is no protein in it. So make something yummy and calorie conscious---I'm sure you will not be the only one to appreciate that option.
If you choose to indulge in calorie laden foods (and remember--if you do it is YOUR choice), it is not the end of the world. Lots of water, back on plan, it is just a hiccup.
Good luck!
Last edited by midwife; 06-25-2008 at 09:35 AM.
Reason: typo
You could try changing your attitude. You are practically talking yourself into failure. Currently in your frame of mind it is almost a dead cert that you will err tomorrow because your internal self talk is programming your brain to fail.
Try this.
Write down "I will not eat too much tomorrow." After you have written it down, go somewhere on your own and repeat it out loud for ten minutes. then write it down 50 - 100 times. This will change your self-talk and your brain will be re-programmed.
This is a neuro-linguistic programming technique, it works. Give it a try, what have you got to lose?
Hey -- I think most people (if not ALL) have these kinds of thoughts while dieting and trying to lose weight -- God knows I've had them SO much.
But just remember -- you aren't on a diet, right? This is a lifestyle change meaning change for your WHOLE life, not just this week or month or year. You want the weight to come off and STAY OFF your whole life and the only way to do that is to do it slowly, reasonably and forgive yourself when and if you screw up. This whole post is totally "the blind leading the blind" but it is true, I think.
AND as far as the Italian dinner goes... Italian foods has a reputation for being super heavy, but it really isn't. Food you get in Italy is very light and delicious and healthy -- so maybe look beyond the pasta and mozzarella. Try whipping up bruschetta for antipasti and then a SMALL serving of pasta as the secondo piatto and a meat or some other protein afterwards. Italian food is VERY healthy!
For what it's worth... 2 weeks seems to be the point at which the going gets tough for a lot of folks. So, it's important to get past it while still staying as close to your plan as possible. I think it's interesting that the big Italian dinner comes up just now... Hmmmm...
Well, all you can do is take some of the advice the other posters have offered, and get through it! Then ignore those self-sabotage voices that are trying to get you to quit, and just keep on going! You really can do this! You can! No reason to think otherwise!
The only way I can stay OP in a situation like this is if I plan ahead what I will eat and *how much* of each (otherwise the slope is too slippery). Since you are preparing the food, you can plan ahead (and count calories or whatever your plan requires). When I do manage to plan ahead and stick to it, in the face of huge temptation, I feel so good about it that anything I missed out on doesn't bother me at all. The feel-good of accomplishment is itself worth it, even if the scale doesn't budge.
The only way I can stay OP in a situation like this is if I plan ahead what I will eat and *how much* of each (otherwise the slope is too slippery). Since you are preparing the food, you can plan ahead (and count calories or whatever your plan requires). When I do manage to plan ahead and stick to it, in the face of huge temptation, I feel so good about it that anything I missed out on doesn't bother me at all. The feel-good of accomplishment is itself worth it, even if the scale doesn't budge.
I agree! I have a dinner out with friends tomorrow and we're going to a sports bar!!! My first thought was "Oh no! How can I stay on plan there?!?" Then I went online and planned a meal. I will have a salad with either chicken breast on it or a salad with their steamed shrimp appetizer and will stay below 500 calories including the one beer I will allow myself.
Someone has a quote that says "Failing to plan is planning to fail!" I find alot of truth in that statement.
I'm at the beginning and struggling with the desire for instant results too. I've actually felt frightened when I couldn't see anything much happening. I read something this morning about the major changes occuring on a microscopic level in my body. Fat cells are shrinking and muscle cells are building, even if I can't see much of it, yet. I find the idea of cellular change going on right now very encouraging.
I wish you courage and success in sticking to your guns.
Thank you all so much for your support! I feel better. I'm off to a good start today, I just have to get through dinner - where I'll be having a SMALL portion of gnocchi with pesto, and a BIG salad. And I'm going to have a protein shake this afternoon so I'm not starving by 7 PM (and because there won't be much protein in the dinner - we're cooking for a vegetarian household, and I just don't like tempeh or tofu). Then, tomorrow morning, I'm back on plan, 100%.
I like the idea that my body is changing at a cellular level, even if I can't see the results yet. I do feel very different than I did two weeks ago - I've made a couple small mistakes, but for the most part I've stayed on plan. I feel less bloated and I have more energy, and I'm actually enjoying the healthy food I've been eating. I hadn't even really felt deprived or had cravings until I started worrying about this stupid dinner.
Tipping Point
!
