Just got pushed over the edge (sorry so long) - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

dollyfinn · 06-20-2008, 02:44 PM

I have to vent. Hope you all don't mind.

I have been exploring SB diet since I read about it in an article in Woman's World magazine this week. I am desperate to lose weight. I am 38 yrs old, just over 300lbs, and fairly miserable. I got this fat because I had an illness for many years that went undetected for the last 10 years but now I am getting better and it is time for a change.

Anyway, do any of you have a friend who is kinda always an emotional wreck? Her role is that of "basket case" and yours is the "together one"? Well, I do. Not that my friend isn't amazing. She has a great career but she is always unhappy due to not finding a man. Well, this week I have been consoling her because her ex boyfreind just got engaged to another girl after only breaking things off with her like a month ago. Obviously he had been two timing her and she is crushed. In fact, she is so upset that she is going to a match maker in her native Egypt and getting married at the end of this month just to get over the old boyfriend. A little crazy right?

Well, we were talking about all of this and she suddenly changed the subject to me having a baby (not sure why she went there, I hadn't been talking abou it). She started saying that if I would just get myself together and get my weight off I could finally have a baby. And, what was wrong with me that I haven't done that yet. That dieting is not that big of a deal so why can't I get the weight off? And, being a mother obviously wasn't that important to me it I wasn't willing to starve myself thin. (and, she thought she was being nice to me by saying all of this)

Well, coming from her that crushed me. One, because as a good friend she should know better. And, two, because I know she is only saying what probably no one else has had the courage to say to my face before. I am feeling pretty devistated and fragile since she said that to me today at 12:30pm.

So, do you all think that the South Beach Diet is easy to stick to? I am feeling rather unconfident of my ability to lose weight and keep it off at this point. Can anyone tell me about their experience and give me some hope please??

Thanks for reading this. Just having a bad, bad day.

michmich · 06-20-2008, 02:52 PM

I'm sorry, dollyfinn.

That was incredibly insensitive of your "friend". And what does that whole conversation have to do with the price of tea in China anyway?! I mean, really....

But, to answer your question, I've only been doing this for a week, but I can tell you I'm absolutely LOVING the diet. The foods you can eat are good AND good for you. I've read time and time and time again that "my doctor recommended it" from other members. That just reinforces for me that this is a great lifestyle change.

With the right mindset and attiude, a little planning, alot of reading and the support you can get here....it is very doable. I really think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Again, I'm sorry for your friend's rude comments. Totally uncalled for.

dollyfinn · 06-20-2008, 02:58 PM

michmich, thanks!! It is good to hear how enthusiastic you are about SB,it is really encouraging.

thanks!!!

Schmoodle · 06-20-2008, 03:06 PM

I have NEVER been a person that could diet and take off weight, even a little bit, and even for a little while. I mean NEVER. My weight steadily increased for 20 years even though I wished that whole time I could figure out a way to stop it and had many false starts on "diets". I still have no will power. I topped out at 245. South Beach is something you can live with and stick to. All you have to do is make a commitment to follow the plan and you don't even have to work that hard. Honestly. You need to be willing to learn some new, healthy habits, that's all. You don't have to starve, deprive yourself or any of those things I always thought I'd have to do to lose weight. I hope that gives you some hope. My plan is to take off 100 lbs. I know I will succeed eventually. I was in a big hurry when I started but I'm not any more, I know it will come off and I know I can stick with this. I'm confident it will be the same for you. I feel like if I can do it, anybody can. Now, read the book, get some groceries, make yourself a batch of egg and cheese cups and get started! And be sure to let us know how it's going for you and ask any questions that come up.

wannabnmaui · 06-20-2008, 03:08 PM

dollyfinn,

Just remember who that was coming from. She certainly doesn't sound like she has room to tell you what you should be doing with your life. Let it roll off your back.

I'm not on SB, but I do know that we have to take it one day at a time. And sometimes we have to take it one moment at a time.

Keep your head up!

Quote:

Originally Posted by dollyfinn

I have to vent. Hope you all don't mind.

I have been exploring SB diet since I read about it in an article in Woman's World magazine this week. I am desperate to lose weight. I am 38 yrs old, just over 300lbs, and fairly miserable. I got this fat because I had an illness for many years that went undetected for the last 10 years but now I am getting better and it is time for a change.

Anyway, do any of you have a friend who is kinda always an emotional wreck? Her role is that of "basket case" and yours is the "together one"? Well, I do. Not that my friend isn't amazing. She has a great career but she is always unhappy due to not finding a man. Well, this week I have been consoling her because her ex boyfreind just got engaged to another girl after only breaking things off with her like a month ago. Obviously he had been two timing her and she is crushed. In fact, she is so upset that she is going to a match maker in her native Egypt and getting married at the end of this month just to get over the old boyfriend. A little crazy right?

Well, we were talking about all of this and she suddenly changed the subject to me having a baby (not sure why she went there, I hadn't been talking abou it). She started saying that if I would just get myself together and get my weight off I could finally have a baby. And, what was wrong with me that I haven't done that yet. That dieting is not that big of a deal so why can't I get the weight off? And, being a mother obviously wasn't that important to me it I wasn't willing to starve myself thin. (and, she thought she was being nice to me by saying all of this)

Well, coming from her that crushed me. One, because as a good friend she should know better. And, two, because I know she is only saying what probably no one else has had the courage to say to my face before. I am feeling pretty devistated and fragile since she said that to me today at 12:30pm.

So, do you all think that the South Beach Diet is easy to stick to? I am feeling rather unconfident of my ability to lose weight and keep it off at this point. Can anyone tell me about their experience and give me some hope please??

Thanks for reading this. Just having a bad, bad day.

marbleflys · 06-20-2008, 03:12 PM

That was an incredibly crappy thing for your friend to say to you....but you can excuse her because she is obviously not in charge of her own mind at this time, (a matchmaker? back in Eygpt? for real?).

whatever plan you decide to use, you'll succeed because you want it for yourself.

Skinny4baby · 06-20-2008, 03:12 PM

I am so sorry your "friend" said these things to you. I have struggled with infertility fo five years, and I know how painful it can be. I know how it feels to "FEEL" pressured to lose weight. I have learned that first and foremost I must lose the weight for myself.

I have lost my weight basicly through "intuitive eating." Basicly waiting for TRUE hunger and stopping when you feel fullness. I use the hunger scale of 1 to 10...with a 5 being full and 6 to full. I also read the book SuperFoods RX..Fourteen Foods That Will change Your Life. Great, great book.

I hope you feel better soon...Let us know.

dollyfinn · 06-20-2008, 03:22 PM

Guys, thank you all so much. You are making me feel so much better. I so appreciate the support today. Thank you for being there for me!!!!

ladybugnessa · 06-20-2008, 03:30 PM

i would not call her a friend... she needed to make you feel bad so she could feel good.

as for SBD.. its' not a diet... it's a lifestyle change. 2 years ago i weighed nearly 300 pounds and i'm under 5'3"....

SBD is something you really have to commit to for life.....

Lovely · 06-20-2008, 04:19 PM

First of all, I think this "friend" brought up the baby & weight things just to make herself feel better. She was trying to bring you down. Shame on her!

You need to select a plan that you feel comfortable with. That you can visualize yourself following for the long-haul. Try out SB. You may find it's something you can live with. It's all individual. You'll find the plan that works.

Extra

to you on your bad day.

(Extra shame to that "friend".

)

dollyfinn · 06-20-2008, 04:20 PM

Thanks Nessa, I hear you on the lifestyle part. I hope I have it in me to make it a lifestyle! But, I have to try!

Faerie, thanks for the kind words!!! Yeah, I have to give this a try so I can see what happens. Better to try to make your life better than to sit around and wonder what could have been.

Thanks again everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

grneyedmustang · 06-20-2008, 04:28 PM

She only put you down to make herself feel better.

As far as SBD goes, I really like it because it doesn't feel like a diet to me. My best friend did SB and lost a ton of weight and has kept it off! I am never hungry and LIKE the food that I eat. There are some habits you will need to change in order to be successful, but it can be done.

Good luck whatever you decide!

djett626 · 06-20-2008, 05:04 PM

dolly,

I have hypothyoridism and PCOS. I lost over 30 pounds the first time with this diet and I am a junk food junkie. I think you can do it. I truly believe my loss of weight is what caused me to have my beautiful baby girl. I was on progesterone for my PCOS, that helped. But, I felt better about myself and my body was ready.

I'm back again b/c I know it works. When I got preggers, I went nuts with the food. And now, I am in the middle of a divorce (DH had substance abuse problems) I'm an emotional eater and I lost my mind. I am struggling with staying on track, but I truly feel that the demons that I am fighting are not hunger, but emotion.

Before I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, I can remember the mean and hurtful things that people said to me. I saw an Aunt at Walmart and she said "Wow, you've gained a LOT of weight." (Old people) That still upsets me to this day. I can remember my SIL and supposed BFF talking with one another and agreeing that I was depressed and that was the reason I weighed so much. I WAS depressed, but I also had a medical problem that caused me to be that way. Once you gain weight with thyroid problems it take work to get it off even after you have your meds right. I remember being so thrilled to find out something was wrong with me.

My supposed BFF used to do me the same way. She would insult me to make herself feel better. It sucks. I eventually closed ties with her. I'm hard enough on myself. Keep your chin up and do what is right for you! Good luck!

Ruthxxx · 06-20-2008, 05:10 PM

Time to ditch toxic people!

dollyfinn · 06-20-2008, 05:45 PM

RuthXXX, Djett626, grneyedmustang, and everyone,
thanks so much for sharing your stories and support with me.
When my husband got home tonight we talked about the SBD and we both are on board. Now I just have to get the book and get started. Thank you all so much for your help!!! It really helped to turn a bad day around!!!