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Old 07-28-2006, 08:18 PM   #1
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So I work on a military base - with military people. They are all buff and in awesome shape. They're having a cookout tonight - a house warming party.

Ever have days where no matter what you put on you see every buldge and get so frustrated and feel so disgusted with yourself?? You look in the mirror and just want to cry?? That's where I'm at right now... So I've pretty much decided to not go out...

Has anyone ever not gone anywhere with friends because you felt that you looked too... i dunno - fat? to go out?

so i might just go to the gym for an hour and go to bed early...

does anyone else ever go through this???
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Old 07-28-2006, 08:27 PM   #2
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I hear ya! I am the only person in my circle of friends that is overweight. All the others.... size 0, size 0, size 2, size 2, size 2 and a size 4! I often felt like i didn't want to go anywhere, especially to the beach. But, over time, I have gained confidence in myself and know that they don't see me as a size and they don't judge me. I still don't go to the beach with them but I do enjoy hanging out.
Don't worry about everyone else's body type. A lot of times, people that may look like they are in awesome shape may not be all that healthy. You are working your way towards healthy and be proud!!!
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Old 07-28-2006, 09:00 PM   #3
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I feel like that 90% of the time! And my freinds never understand why I turn down their invitations. Funny because once I tried to explain how I feel but they just looked at me like I was insane. Glad to know that Im not the only one whos ever felt that way though.
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Old 07-28-2006, 09:02 PM   #4
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good to know im not the only one too!!

isnt it awful ??? its like you're too ashamed of yourself to be seen, or something.

i sit back and think about weight loss and being thin -- in your head - it sounds so easy. it makes so much sense -- but its soooo hard. i'm jealous of all of these naturally thin people!

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Old 07-28-2006, 09:07 PM   #5
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You are definitely not the only one. I used to hide inside my house. I felt I was too fat to go out. Looking back, I wish I had went and had some fun. Life doesn't start after maintenance, it happens everyday no matter what our weight is.
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Old 07-28-2006, 09:09 PM   #6
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yes! i do that too! or i wont go work out until i know the gym is empty because i dont want to be the fat one in the gym... -- just dont want to be seen...
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Old 07-28-2006, 09:46 PM   #7
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I use to LOVE going out on a night on the town and going dancing, now I don't even bother. I hate how I look and I def don't dance in front of people anymore! I can never find clothes that I feel comfortable in that look nice
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Old 07-28-2006, 09:49 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canfield3272004
I can never find clothes that I feel comfortable in that look nice
AMEN!! -- i hated everything i put on until i put on my favorite pair of sweats....
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Old 07-28-2006, 10:12 PM   #9
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Believe me, I do know how you feel. At my size, I can feel like a human side show if I let myself, but I finally realized how self-destructive it is. The less you go out, the lonelier and more depressed you get, the harder it is to go out, exercise, and take care of yourself, the worse you feel, and the more you isolate yourself.

Things started to change for me, when I decided that I wanted a life - whether or not any of the weight came off. Living like a "real" human being has really helped me lose weight and keep losing (though slowly) longer than I have ever been able to diet or keep losing ever in my entire life.

It can still be terrifying, but I do it anyway, and for the most part everyone has been either supportive or hasn't even noticed (or at least pretended not to). The hardest thing recently, was to buy and get on a bicycle. I was afraid I was going to break the bike, get hurt, and be laughed at by people passing in cars. None of that happened, and although I can't ride for very long yet, every time I get on the bike I can ride a few more minutes.

I can't explain how it made me feel to exercise and have fun in a way that "normal" people do. It made me feel "normal." When I think what a little thing it is for most people, and what a big thing it is for me, I realize how long I have exhisted without truly living.
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Old 07-29-2006, 12:22 AM   #10
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Kate, next time please go! I'm sure that other people don't notice your weight as much as you think. You are gorgeous in your av. Have some confidence and have some fun girl!

I was always very shy when I was your age and worried too much about what others would think about me. I look back now and wish so much that I had gone to those parties and dances and enjoyed myself while I was young, unmarried and childless. I can never go back now and capture the fun of what might have been and it's kind of depressing.

(OK, sorry for the mother-like lecture. Stepping slowly out of the 20's forum now, lol....)
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Old 07-29-2006, 01:27 AM   #11
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One thing that I've learned over my years as a "fat chick" is that no matter how big I may be, I can always go out and have a great time. Don't let your weight stop you -- if you are physically able to get out, do so.

Life is short, live while you can. =D
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Old 07-29-2006, 03:09 AM   #12
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i went to a bar a few weeks back and was dancing on the bar and my best friend was hearing someone make nasty comments about how i was too fat to be there. i didnt let it bother me i've had enough putdowns said to me in my life that i just dont care what someone else thinks of me. i enjoyed my night reguardless of what was hear by my best friend.
live your life dont let your weight/appearance or anything hold you back from having fun and living life
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Old 07-29-2006, 03:15 AM   #13
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I don't think there is one person that hasn't felt that way, even if they weren't overweight. Keep your chin up and aleast you are thinking of going to the gym and not the fridge. I wish you luck.
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Old 07-29-2006, 03:19 AM   #14
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I think you do care, obviously, that's why you mentioned it. But,, consider the source. They were ignorant. One of these days, when you lose your weight, you make sure you remember and never say the same of other fat people out just trying to have fun. good luck with everything. Dance like no one is watching!
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Old 07-30-2006, 12:07 AM   #15
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Girl, everytime I went out walking around the block I felt like everyone was standing at their windows watching me! That's how paranoid I was half the time. It got to the point where I just said to **** with this, I'm gonna do what I want to do. You always hear the saying that you shouldn't worry about what other people think, and it's true. We live in a very judgmental world, with a very rigid set of ideas on what defines beauty.

I know this is a little off the point, but I recently watched a biography of Greta Garbo, a famous actress back in the day, who basically became a hermit in the latter half of her life because she let it be that way. She kept using the outside world as an excuse for why she couldn't do this or that. Yet she was rich as can be, but rarely ventured much beyond New York. How ironic is that?

My point is, do what makes you happy. I have lived on military posts myself, and I know how hard it is to even step out the front door with all of these buff bods around. Why not join your local Curves or other gyms exclusively for women?
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