[jkg0679]

My fiance was upset when I told him I joined this site. He feels betrayed that I can find more motivation in talking to a group of strangers on the internet than I can with him. I told him it's not that there is more motivation here, but just the fact that it's easier to report to strangers, especially if I fail one week. Also, his motivation includes saying things like "are you sure you wanna eat that, you're on a diet" or something similar. While I know he is good intentioned here, and tells me all the time I am beautiful the weight I am and don't need to lose, it kinda makes me feel bad. Rather than feeling the motivation not to eat it, hearing him say it makes me wanna cry. I don't know what to say to him to assure him what he says to me does matter, but that I need a different outlet sometimes.

[ajwings2001]

Well you could always tell him that you need to get support here because he won't understand the AF TOTM problems. lol With guys you can always flip it to something to do with a period and they automatically go away. lol

On a serious note.... Just calmly explain it the best you can.. (sounds like you did) and also have him take a look at the site. He might have a problem with it if he believe there is more to it than weight loss.

Dunno what to tell you.. my husband also thinks this is silly..but guys dont bond with other guys like girls bond with other girls.

Good Luck
Amanda

[paperclippy]

Maybe you could explain to him that it is important to you to have a female support group? I was about ready to give up before I found this site, and I am at a weird place in my life where all my female friends live hundreds (or thousands) of miles away, so my bf was the only support I had. Having other women to talk to has made a huge difference for me -- women support each other in different ways than men do, and I think it is important to have that female support. So if you tell him that you need the website for female support, well, he can't give you female support.

[gingerjen]

I don't know about you, but for me it has helped me much more to get support and advice from women who have the same problem I do. My husband is in no way overweight, he isn't even fat so as hard as he tries to understand he just doesn't. I just hope you two work it out cause I have found that I love this site and it is a wonderful tool.
Good Luck,
Jen

[Jman1]

He sounds pretty insecure to me. Is he worried he's going to lose you if you're not totally dependent on him for everything?

[skinnyjeans]

his motivation includes saying things like "are you sure you wanna eat that, you're on a diet" or something similar.
--LOL! Sounds like something "helpful" my husband would say.

Probably wouldn't hurt to reassure him that you do appreciate his help and advice because he can provide you with something we can't motivation and support while you two are together or right in the middle of a situation. While we can help you with advice, experiance he may not have that doesn't mean he's not helpful.

I'm sure you realize it. But he might just need to hear it?

[Ahealthierme]

I agree with paperclippy and gingerjen...there are a few things my fiance just cannot help me with. 1) He's never been fat, so he doesnt know how much of a struggle it is for me just to keep my weight steady much less lose weight.. 2)He's a man and can't support me (as paperclippy said) like a woman (or a group of women) in the same position can...it's just different ya know? I do have close girlfriends but I dont like talking about weight with them, because we're always very competetive and self defeating.