[wks_jbb]

Hey y'all! I'm new here and looking forward to any insight or advice y'all can offer!

So here's my little dilemma:
I'm a single mama to a beautiful almost 5 year old! This weekend I have the opportunity to go out for the first time since my son was born. Like actually go out! Like to a bar! It's a big deal lol. The problem is not only is this my first time going out in over 5 years, but it's my first time going out with my new "mom bod."

I've always been a little overweight and curvy, but when I got pregnant I gained almost 60 lbs. Though I've lost about half of that recently, I still have a ways to go. My question is: how do I go out and have fun when I'm not confident in my body?? It also doesn't help that my girlfriends I'm going with are skinny, pretty, and ultra confident!

I just don't want to be that sad girl sitting at the bar while my friends are swimming in drinks and compliments!

[ThisIsMyRealName]

Buy yourself a new outfit!

[tinneranne2]

You see your girlfriends as pretty and ultra confident, but I bet if you asked them they could list all the flaws that they see in themselves as well. Fwiw, I'd chew my own arm off to escape boring conversations, doesn't matter how hot the guy is, so if you're not feeling confident in your body then focus on how smart/funny/interesting you are and feel confident in that! Wear something you find flattering and remember that you're out with your lady friends. They are great company even if you buy your own drinks. I hope you have fun!!!

[Scotsgal]

Yeh go buy a slimming outfit, you will see yourself better in the mirror and feel more confident, make sure you put on some make up, and do your hair, and that will in turn make you feel much better. Like mentioned, they will be very weary about parts of their own bodies as well. so just go to have fun! just go to catch up, you not there to catch a date or have a who's skinnier competition. If they are as judging as your head thinks that they are? Then they aren't friends. You will be your own worst enemy, and not having a good time will be down to you beating yourself up about the extra 30lbs or so.

Just do as much of what will make you feel great!

[bloominbutterflies]

Maybe you are setting yourself up to think the evening will go in a way it really won't? I mean I used to think bars were all about people being cool and hooking up. But, as far as I can tell where I live that isn't really true. Maybe it's just the bars I go to, but usually the only people who talk to me or my friends, is me or my friends lol. Idk maybe we are all ugly? rofl! It's like the sexy bar scenes in movies/tv are like a myth. In the mitten people are just sitting around with beers and poutine minding their own business rofl.

But yeah a new outfit never hurts

[Ariesgirl40]

Adjust your mindset! You have realized a milestone!!! Embrace you as you are TODAY. It's the best you you can present today. I had to learn that as I am the mother of a teenage girl. I had to start practicing what I preach to her. So we both look in the mirror as we dress in the morning or whenever and say "girl you sure do look good today mmmm" "work it girl" I have practiced flirting with myself. No, I'm not mentally imbalanced, well that's debatable... No seriously I have decided to love the me I am and put my best foot forward everyday and be happy with me. I know it's a heavy thought but think of some woman on her deathbed. What would she say to you about self doubt and discontentment? She would say feel blessed you are beautiful and deserve to be happy. Life is too short to be unhappy. Don't compare yourself to others. You don't deserve that; treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Self love is one of the kindest acts you can impart on the world. It will guide your actions. Now go buy a cute outfit and rock it! And do not forget to flirt a little in the mirror as you get ready for your night out! "Girl you sure do look good mmmmm!"