Life on Hold
I've been on and off this site for years now and I find myself back in a place where I need the support I found here a few years ago. I think I just need somewhere to get my thoughts out and maybe hear some feedback. In 2012 I lost 70 ish pounds and got down to 180 (the lowest I have been since I was 12) but between 2013 - 2016, I put 100+ pounds back on. I, currently, weight between 298 and 310 (depending on water weight).
In the past several years, a lot was going on with my life (very sick father - who passed away in March 2015, an estate fight and mounting personal debt) and I just couldn't keep the weight off. I HAVE had some good things happen including getting engaged and moving in with my fiancee. Extremely recently (two weeks ago) I was diagnosed with severe depression and started taking medication so some of the clouds are lifting but a lot of the reasons are still present.
I am lonely - we have no local friends and I spend a lot of my time home alone (Fiance works 2nd shift - 2 pm - 10 pm MWF and 8 to 4 S/U) so it's pretty rough. I'm trying to look into way to make friends/activities to do/etc but we live in a college town (and I work at the college) so I can't mix a lot with the students. We are also struggling with money - we owe a decent amount of debt because his previous car just sucked in money like it was nothing - so we don't have the funds to spend to do things that involve people in the area (bowling league, climbing gym, yoga studio). I'm also afraid to put myself out there for some of these items currently because of my weight. I LOVE indoor climbing but I weight 300lbs - the idea of having someone "spot me" freaks me out at that weight. We've also pushed our wedding back a year and are not thinking of cancelling it all together/eloping (even though we both want an actual wedding because we don't see how we can afford it. We are both super fun people but we seem to exist in a people our are desert (25 - 35).
My fiancee and I did join a gym together but his schedule makes it challenging to find time to go together and I can never seem to find the same motivation to actually GO work out alone. The same goes for my eating habits - I am trying to so hard to get them back under control but I last for so long and then - bam, I'm stuffing my face.
I don't know if I have a question but I'm just look for some support.
Mini Goals: 4/16/14
Lose 10lbs (249 - 239) - 4.02% Loss
Completed a 5k in 2014
Log Calories/Food for 30 Days
Gym 3 Days a Week for 30 Days