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Old 11-08-2015, 09:38 PM   #1
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Question Boyfriend uncomfortable with me joining a gym

Hi all,

I'm a college student and my college has its own fitness center which I'd like to join. It's only $28 a month, which seems a lot cheaper than other gyms in the area. The problem is that my boyfriend doesn't agree with me joining it. He says that I could just work out at home by doing yard work or walking/running around the neighborhood, etc. Am I just being a snob by preferring to join the gym? We live in Michigan. Working out outdoors in winter can be brutal. I work and make my own money so it's not like I've got to ask his permission to do things like this. I guess I'm just looking for support. Does anyone else have relationship issues like this that stand in the way of weight loss? Sorry if this is a commonly asked question. I'm returning to this site after a year and a half away so I'm kind of out of the loop. TIA!
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Old 11-09-2015, 09:56 AM   #2
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Why does he think he should be able to dictate whether or not you use a gym? That's a bit worrisome to me. If it was ludicrously expensive or something, I could see him expressing an opinion, but it's not his money, it's yours, and I wouldn't want to work out outside in Michigan either!

Do you have a history of signing up for gyms and then not going? That's the only other thing I could see that might make someone suggest that you not do that. Or perhaps he's afraid it'll take away from your time together.

I think you should join the gym and if he doesn't like it, too bad.
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Old 11-09-2015, 10:08 AM   #3
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This is a huge red flag. I'd join the gym and keep a close eye for other controlling behavior (and run for the hills quickly if there are other strange behaviors).

You have such a great opportunity to get in shape, and instead of lifting you up, he's making you doubt yourself. That's not exactly what I'd be looking for in a life partner
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Old 11-09-2015, 10:22 AM   #4
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It's your body and your checkbook, if you want to join then do so. You are only dating - not engaged, not married and frankly the only one you are accountable is to yourself right now! Go for it! I am northern WI so I know how the winters can be, and besides how often do you do yard work? And what happens if the el nino keeps our winter this year warm and without the snow to shovel? Go join the gym!
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Old 11-12-2015, 11:54 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by McMurphy View Post
Hi all,

I'm a college student and my college has its own fitness center which I'd like to join. It's only $28 a month, which seems a lot cheaper than other gyms in the area. The problem is that my boyfriend doesn't agree with me joining it. He says that I could just work out at home by doing yard work or walking/running around the neighborhood, etc. Am I just being a snob by preferring to join the gym? We live in Michigan. Working out outdoors in winter can be brutal. I work and make my own money so it's not like I've got to ask his permission to do things like this. I guess I'm just looking for support. Does anyone else have relationship issues like this that stand in the way of weight loss? Sorry if this is a commonly asked question. I'm returning to this site after a year and a half away so I'm kind of out of the loop. TIA!
$28 seems too good to be true! That's a great price.

I think your BF probably doesn't enjoy the gym and is projecting his experiences onto you. Everyone has their own style and preference when it comes to working out - some people need direction from someone and others are perfectly fine with doing their own thing. Don't let someone else's opinion and preferences stand in your way. If you think you'd get a great workout, that you'd enjoy it there and you'd actually go then join! You're definitely not being a snob. Personally I don't like gyms because I need instruction, but that doesn't mean I would tell you not to go because you might do awesome there and have a great time. Do what you enjoy and you'll find like-minded people.
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Old 11-13-2015, 09:21 AM   #6
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Was he just expressing an opinion, or was it closer to a demand? I ask because sometimes when I mention what I like to do, people take it as me telling them what to do (which I am definitely not trying to do).

But if you've explained to him that you want to use a gym and that you have no problems paying for it, and he still insists you shouldn't, I'd keep an eye on that. You might just need to sit him down and say, "Honey, this is what I want to do. I don't want to work out outside. My preference is indoors, so that's what I'm going to do. Thank you for respecting my wishes on this."

Do what you need to do for you, whatever that is.
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Old 11-21-2015, 08:09 PM   #7
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Definitely sounds like a redflag to me as well. In fact it sounds like an ex boyfriend who was not the kindest person at all. I agree with the other posters when they say you need to do you. Your body and money and $28 sounds like a great deal.

I live in West Michigan so outside working out during the winter makes me giggle. Gyms are nice and warm; lake effect snow is no joke lol. I hope you are doing what you think is best.
Good luck with the journey!
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