I only joined here yesterday and weighed myself for the first time in a long time this morning. I feel so horrible about what I saw on the scales, I can't believe I let myself go this far. This is making my feel defeated but at the same time I know I need to make a change and I need to make it now. I just feel like I'm so disgusting right now! I don't even have the confidence to say my weight anonymously online!
Has anyone else felt like this? How do you change your mindset around and become motivated instead of defeated?
I hadn't realized how big I had gotten until I went to the doctor and she showed me the number on the scale. I knew I had gained weight but the enormity had not hit me until she told me my health problems would get better if I would take better care of myself. But as I looked down at the number, the thought of how much I needed to lose overwhelmed me. I spent two months laying in bed crying over how unhappy I was with my health and my life in general. But after two months of being defeated, I realized that I wasn't going to get anywhere by doing that. I wasn't losing weight crying, I wasn't changing my career crying, all I was doing was causing myself to have headaches.
I think a lot of us feel defeated when we take that first look at the scale. The sheer enormity of what lies ahead of us can feel overwhelming. When I started I had a goal to lose 100 lbs. That seemed like it was going to take forever and I knew it was going to be a struggle the whole way through. But it is definitely worth it. My health issues have resolved themselves. I have learned that my body can do some pretty amazing things. Yes I do still feel gross sometimes and get upset that I'm not at my goal yet. But I stay motivated by remembering that being defeated is not going to get me what I want. That while crying is a good release every now and then, it serves no purpose in getting to my goals. I use this in every aspect of my life, any time I want to give up and be defeated, I just remember that I won't be proud of myself if I do that, that I won't be happy if I give up, and that goals aren't accomplished in defeat mode.
Back in January I went to the doctor and they weighed me and I was shocked by the number. I too felt shocked and defeated. And then May I was at the doctors again and when they weighed me I found that I had and additional 20 pounds and was then at my highest weight. That's when I realized that feeling defeated had only made things worse. If I wanted to lose weight I had to change my mindset. I'm not sure how I changed my mind I just new that I didn't want to gain anymore weight and the only way to lose it was to take control.
For some people making small changes helps them lose weight and for others making a clear commitment is what they need.
It is so nice to see that there are others who have shared some of the same experiences as I have. I have never been a very small person, I weighed 135 when I graduated high school back in the stone age. At the time, I thought that I was overweight. Unfortunately, this set me up for a lifetime of a dysfunctional relationship with food. When I went to the doc and saw that I had reached over 300 pounds I just wanted to curl up in a ball on the floor and eat a bag of peanut butter cups washed down with a 2 liter of Pepsi. I am one to support the idea that you should cherish yourself no matter how big you are or what you look like- that being said, I can understand how difficult it is to practice what you preach, so to speak. All of us are so much more than the number on the scale. I used to want to lose weight to just look like what I thought a beautiful person was. Now, I am taking a different perspective. I want to lose weight because the extra pounds are physically and emotionally limiting me from being the happiest person I can be- in a sense, at least for me, the weight doesn't represent all bad things in my life. For instance, I gained a great deal of weight from overeating with my friends, family, at holiday dinners, bbq's, you name it, I ate it!
I just had to chime in on this one. I felt defeated when I went to the doctors for my yearly physical in February and she pointed out to me that I weighed more at that time then when I was pregnant.
I know that she didn't say it to be cruel, but that was my wake up call. Now mind you, my son's is in his teens, so that makes it even more unacceptable lol. At that point I decided to take control of my life and not let the comment affect me in a negative way.
I lost some weight before joining this site but was still struggling. But since I have been on this forum, I'm so motivated to lose it and keep it off for good.
Unicorn22 you can do this and just remember we're all in this together. This forum is a wonderful place for support. Look forward to hearing about your progress
I have felt this way before. But at least now you know! I used to take comfort in the unknown as I am sure many overweight people has. But after I finally saw my number and saw I was at the highest weight I viewed it as a wake up call and vowed I would never see that number again!
Think of this as the first step in your journey-- it may be a rough first start but believe in yourself!
First, I'm probably old enough to be a grandma to many in this group so I hope it's OK if I throw in my 2cents worth.
Maybe for right now, don't look at the big picture. Set an attainable short term goal. Make it something like 10 lbs or maybe a dress/pants size. You can DO that.
After hitting a string of those mini goals you start getting in a rhythm. The little successes keep that motivation going.
The shocker for me was getting a glimpse of my naked body in a three way mirror in a hotel room I was staying in. I looked like a whale.
Anyway, the best thing about being very overweight is that it is so easy to lose. Small changes have a big impact on the scale. People that are just 10 or 20 pounds overweight really have to struggle to lose the pounds. When you are 100lbs overweight like I was, I made the smallest change and the weight started to drop fast.
Many of us have felt defeated. but ask yourself, do you want to gain even more? Because if you accept defeat and throw in the towel, that IS what will happen, no doubt, no question, definitely! When I was here before, I started at 211 lbs and got to within 4 lbs of being "normal" weight, but then I got away from here, and not only did I put all the weight back on, I put on 9 lbs more! Talk about embarrassing and feeling defeated! I knew I had to come back here, and there was no time to waste! I was putting my health at risk! I don't want to become diabetic. I don't want osteoarthritis from the wear and tear of extra weight on my joints. I don't want high blood pressure and heart disease. And I didn't want to KEEP gaining weight, but what was going to stop it from happening? So what do you want to do? Start losing weight or start gaining weight, because you are going to do one or the other, and the choice is yours. It doesn't take motivation. It takes commitment. So c'mon! Join us in losing weight! Just take it 5-10 lbs at a time! You can do it!
You joined here yesterday, before you knew the number. Were you motivated yesterday? Obviously something made you want to join this forum. Try to remember how you were feeling before you saw that number.
The only thing the scale changes is now you have a baseline. But put that behind you for now, figure out your next steps, set some goals, and move forward. Dwelling on a silly number won't help you make whatever change you came here to make. You can do it.
I only joined here yesterday and weighed myself for the first time in a long time this morning. I feel so horrible about what I saw on the scales, I can't believe I let myself go this far. This is making my feel defeated but at the same time I know I need to make a change and I need to make it now. I just feel like I'm so disgusting right now! I don't even have the confidence to say my weight anonymously online!
Has anyone else felt like this? How do you change your mindset around and become motivated instead of defeated?
I didn't even weigh myself until I had lost some weight. I had a Quantum scale, which is a scale that doesn't tell you your weight, but instead tells you your weight loss or gain. I didn't want to see my true weight. Once I had lost weight and the quantum scale said negative 25, I weighed myself, thinking for sure I'd see around 220ish. But, I was 274 on the real scale. Meaning, I was 299 when I started my journey. It was devastating. I seriously cried.
But, then I made myself some short term goals and kept going. My motivation went up and down, but as I saw the pounds come off I had more motivated days than non-motivated days. It gets easier. I made some of my goals clothing sizes or that pair of smaller jeans. It's not all about the weight. It will come off, just work hard and give it time. Good luck!
Vickie - No one is too old. I meant to post this in a general forum anyway and got a bit lost on the site. Plus, everyone loves grandmas!
Thank you everyone for the support and advice. I think I just got a big shock as I've been big before and lost weight and it took me so long and was so hard, and now I've actually put it all back on plus more without even realising it. I have always had body image issues as well, there are no mirrors in my house (except the bathroom) because I don't like looking at my reflection. Even when I was at a healthy 150 pounds just 2 years ago I didn't want to see myself, I just have my own demons there.
I have about 60 pounds to lose but I don't want to make it about a number because that's wrecking my head. My long term goal is to look good in a wedding dress in about 18 months time and I'll come up with some short term goals too. A quantum scale sounds like an excellent idea for me actually, thanks kisskiss! And thanks Ian, it's a good way of thinking to know that it will come off faster at first, I think if I can see some losses early on it will help me stay motivated. I'm feeling very good and positive about this again, it's too important to me to just lay down and be defeated.
I'm in the same boat with the wedding dress. Even though I'm focusing on scale numbers, I'm also focusing on dress sizes and soon, hopefully, on toning and building up the right curves. I really want an a**!
I'm making a mental note to myself to keep an eye open for wedding dress photos from Unicorn and Leah! I'm betting you will both be breath-takingly beautiful brides regardless of your size.
Kisskiss has some beautiful wedding photos on her blog and I've seen the post with Munchy's too.
Unicorn, the arms or maybe even measurements could be a great mini-goal for you! Regardless of the number on the scale, take your measurements now so you have a benchmark.
Last edited by Vickie Chickie; 07-09-2015 at 10:47 AM.
Feeling defeated…
Been there, done that
Good morning all-
I feel ya!
