Losing Weight For Someone - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Riestrella · 01-11-2015, 04:40 PM

Hey everyone, figured it would be insightful to get your opinion on this. Have you/will you/are you losing weight for someone other than yourself? Of course, you lose weight for yourself, but is there an additional boost to your motivation by keeping someone in mind?

This Christmas my boyfriend visited me for 3 weeks, it was so amazing to see him, when he left I knew that the next time I see him could be 4+ months depending on when my visa is issued. I figured that in that time, if I really dedicated myself, I could lose a huge chunk of weight and surprise him. I've done this in the past, I went from about 178 lbs to 155 lbs, but because he saw me on webcam and pictures on facebook his reaction wasn't as surprised as I wanted!
But this time around I thought what if I really took it seriously and made sure no pictures of me went online from now until I see him, then I lose a bunch of weight and surprise him with a transformation?? I think it could be really epic! I've been wanting to be at my goal weight for years now, that I'm finding this thought of surprising him a new wave of motivation. I think 30 lbs in 4 months could be manageable, but even if I lost 10 lbs in 4 months it would put me at a healthy BMI.

To go a little deeper, perhaps a little bit more controversial, but one reason (of many) I want to be at my goal weight is for him. I know he loves me for who I am, it doesn't matter what I look like (we started a relationship at my all time heaviest after all), but is it so wrong to want him to have a hot girlfriend?! Someone who he can look at and feel like he's won the jackpot? I mean, this is obviously to do with my confidence in my own body image, he tells me that when I'm happy he is happy so I'm clearly not happy with my size now so I'm dreaming of being lighter.

I've heard of people losing weight for others, to prove old bullies wrong, to impress a family member etc. Do you have a similar tale?

ohclementine · 01-11-2015, 05:28 PM

Girl, you are incredibly sweet and I can totally see why you have a great relationship! I feel you on so much of this, my partner is also motivation, but not just the hot part, I want us to be able to do anything we want to do, I don't want my unhealthy weight to affect us! I want to live a long time with this dude, ya know?!

Anyway good luck with your goals, you've already come so far! I hope you get an epic reveal

aeyesolo · 01-11-2015, 05:34 PM

In a perfect world we might say "lose weight for yourself, don't do it for someone else!" But pfffff, who's perfect?? I think everyone here can probably agree that the idea of stunning people has it's appeal

I'd say as long as you're losing weight for a healthy reason, there's no problem with wanting to lose weight for someone else! Everyone gets their motivation from different places, and whatever keeps you going is great, no matter whether it's controversial or not. I'm sure your boyfriend will be very happy for you!

izzyboomama · 01-11-2015, 06:56 PM

I think most people lose weight for others, just subconsciously. If you're losing weight to "look hot" then you're losing weight for others. That's not a bad thing. I'm losing weight for my kids, for myself and absolutely for my husband! I'm with Riestrella, I want my hubby to have a "hot" wife!
I am okay with how I look now, in all honesty. Let's face it, I'm 28, I've had 2 kids and I'm looking to lose about 150 pounds so I don't have a bikini body to look forward to. I just want to be able to shop at the mall! Lol!

sunarie · 01-11-2015, 07:21 PM

I don't really think there's anything wrong with it. I do think if that's the singular, only reason you're doing it (which it doesn't sound like it is) then you'd probably be more likely to fail. Whether it be now or later on. Most of the reason I want to lose is to be healthier, but I'd be flat out lying if I didn't admit some of my reason has to do with wanting to look prettier in general. That includes for my boyfriend.

Jesslan Rose · 01-11-2015, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aeyesolo

Everyone gets their motivation from different places, and whatever keeps you going is great, no matter whether it's controversial or not. I'm sure your boyfriend will be very happy for you!

I agree with this. Well said!!

I'm not losing for someone else, but since the disastrous Christmas day lunch with my new SIL I've been using my intense dislike for her to fuel my weight loss efforts. (Displaced anger? LOL)

Wherever you find your motivation to get to your goal weight is a good thing. (Albeit a little twisted in my case. LOL)

skittlesfirehawk · 01-11-2015, 08:09 PM

I'm doing it for me and because I want to earn my thin privilege.as long as your doing it for you first then why not use the extra motivation.i heard a story of an army wife who did that to her hubby after he got back.she made sure only face photos of her were on fb and things so when he saw her body it was like dam even though he could tell her face thinned.

Riestrella · 01-12-2015, 05:31 AM

Thanks for your input everyone! It's been nice to be backed up on it! I wouldn't lose weight purely for someone else, but he know me more than anyone and can tell when I'm not happy. I'm NOT happy at this weight! So I'm gonna try my best to lose weight for the next big stage in my life which is moving over to America

.

skittles - I heard about that too! But you can tell when someone is losing by their face, which is what happened to me the first time. I said to him "you didn't seem that surprised" and he said he could see my weight loss in my face so he knew it was coming. Perhaps this time I will be sure to not be seen at all and not even say I'm losing, I might even tell a white lie and say I haven't been able to lose much weight

. mwahaha.

Paisleymama · 01-12-2015, 10:14 AM

I'm a bit of a people pleaser and I like it when *I* feel like my husband has me at my best. It boosts my confidence and he finds me more attractive because of it. He's been with me at my highest and lowest and has never ever commented on my weight negatively.

It's a good source of motivation, it doesn't have any untoward affects on my weight loss, so what's the harm in it?

I also do it for my parents in some ways, they've always been very judgmental about weight and it's something that's bothered me my whole life. I'd like to stick it to them, just a bit

And thirdly, thankfully I have no health issues attributed to weight so it's all aesthetics and comfort for me. I want to wear shorts. I want to wear tanks and I don't want to be the chubby girl in pictures.

wendybirdx · 01-12-2015, 10:45 AM

Aw everyone's so sweet! It's so great to see people considering their families and their own confidence.

@Riestrella I totally get you, though. Looking good and having that be recognized can be huge motivation, even if it's not a priority (:

I don't really think I have anyone specific in mind, and I know this may sound weird, but I am partially doing this for my future partner? I do want him to find me attractive in every way, even if an emotional connection is my priority. I want him to be happy with me and not worry about defending me when others point out my weight or worry about how uncomfortable I feel and miss out on things like swimming or shopping for clothes. I just don't want it to be relevant, I guess, even if he doesn't mind himself.

Riestrella · 01-12-2015, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paisleymama

I also do it for my parents in some ways, they've always been very judgmental about weight and it's something that's bothered me my whole life. I'd like to stick it to them, just a bit

And thirdly, thankfully I have no health issues attributed to weight so it's all aesthetics and comfort for me. I want to wear shorts. I want to wear tanks and I don't want to be the chubby girl in pictures.

It's funny that you mention your parents, because I kinda want to be at my goal weight and turn to my Mum and said "THERE. I did it." She struggles with her weight too, to the point where she can sabotage my weight loss efforts and has mentioned in the past that I'll never be "thin thin." I just wanna show her that a) if you try hard enough you can get results and b) she should get a move on if she wants to change too and not make so many excuses!
Also, hear hear to not being the chubby girl!

Claygirl1518 · 01-12-2015, 07:33 PM

No problem at all, motivation is motivation! I put on a good bit of weight before my husband left for Afghanistan, and when he got home I had lost about 25 pounds. I wanted to lose it for me too, but a big part of it was being able to surprise him with how good I looked! Its a good feeling, and I don't see any problem with it at all!

IanG · 01-12-2015, 07:45 PM

Go for it. But I will say this now because you are in a glorious happy place. Find a piece of it for you as well. If you two break up one day or he doesn't like your weight loss then your hard work will still be for you. That matters.

CakeBatter · 01-12-2015, 09:03 PM

Riestrella,
I agree with everyone else. MOTIVATION IS MOTIVATION...I mean let's keep it real who doesn't want to look super hot for their guy! It obvy YOU want to do it for yourself otherwise you wouldn't have been so committed and your BF seems very supportive no matter what your choices or appearance. I say GO FOR IT and STUN THE PANTS off of him!

DrivenByAmbition · 01-13-2015, 06:27 AM

Want to lose weight for someone I haven't met yet, actually. My firstborn, who hasn't even been conceived, haha. I want to see my children grow up, so that right there is enough motivation for me this time around.