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Is there anybody like me?

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Old 11-24-2014, 01:25 PM   #1
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Default Is there anybody like me?

I have been overweight all my life. Been struggling to lose the weight since I was 18 and I am now 22 years old. I want to be at a healthy weight by 24 and my ultimate weight of 130 by 25.

I have never had a boyfriend, never even been on a date or had a real kiss, not so much because of me being overweight but more so because I am uncomfortable with my weight and it always seems to show no matter how much I fake it. It doesn't help that I am extremely shy and I feel like I am not good enough for anyone that I truly want to be with.

My birthday is in a month and some weeks and I am moving to Jersey around the same time. I want to be down some before both because I think it will really increase my confidence. I know I won't be able to be at my mini goal with so little time but I would at least love to be down pass my current weight of 247.



MG1: 230lbs by End of January
MG2: 200lbs by End of May
MG3: 190lbs by End of July
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Old 11-24-2014, 01:40 PM   #2
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Hey honey. Just want to shoot you some encouragement. I was 25 before I felt good enough to start dating and that was after some major weight loss occurred as well. But even though I'd lost a lot of weight I still weighed over 200 pounds...but I was suddenly a dating machine, not because I was thin, but because I had an inner confidence that made me attractive to men. I've always struggled with my weight and recently I've been at the highest numbers I've ever seen on the scale. But through the years I found a man who loves me at any size and while he wants me to be healthier, doesn't care if I've got extra going on and just encourages me no matter what. BTW, he's hot and ripped lol. Don't worry about being 22. But don't do what I did and let it sit until you're 30 to figure out. Focus on getting healthy now and you will start feeling amazing and that will attract men for sure.
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Old 11-24-2014, 02:01 PM   #3
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Yes. I didn't even get my first kiss till 25. Even if I was attractive to guys I wanted, because I did not like the way I looked, I didn't want to date them. I didn't want to dress up, I didn't want to be looked it. The whole concept of "don't lose weight for men" never applied because thats not the issue. We like what we like in the mirror and if we don't, no matter how a man reacts, then we don't.
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Old 11-24-2014, 02:17 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by city_southernbelle View Post
I have been overweight all my life. Been struggling to lose the weight since I was 18 and I am now 22 years old. I want to be at a healthy weight by 24 and my ultimate weight of 130 by 25.

I have never had a boyfriend, never even been on a date or had a real kiss, not so much because of me being overweight but more so because I am uncomfortable with my weight and it always seems to show no matter how much I fake it. It doesn't help that I am extremely shy and I feel like I am not good enough for anyone that I truly want to be with.

My birthday is in a month and some weeks and I am moving to Jersey around the same time. I want to be down some before both because I think it will really increase my confidence. I know I won't be able to be at my mini goal with so little time but I would at least love to be down pass my current weight of 247.



MG1: 230lbs by End of January
MG2: 200lbs by End of May
MG3: 190lbs by End of July
I was like you for a long time. It took me a long time to gain confidence in myself and I did so before I decided to lose weight. It's hard, but my best advice is to try and find something you love about yourself now, before you get too far on your journey.
In years past, when I tried to lose weight, I never succeeded because I had nothing to hold onto. I had an attitude of "I'm a fat slob who won't look good until I get two sizes down". Now my attitude is "I look pretty awesome in these jeans, but I'll look even better in them once I'm down another 10 pounds"!

Some people do very well always being hard on themselves, but I can't imagine that constantly seeing yourself as "not worth it" is very motivating, especially when it's likely you will still see your heavy self in the mirror even at goal weight.

Moving sounds like a great opportunity to starting over and really doubling down on your weight loss. I wish you luck!
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Goals: [275 on 11/22/14][269 on 1/8/15][250][230][215][199][180][160][145][135][130]
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Old 01-01-2015, 10:28 PM   #5
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Just keep at it. Exercise can do wonders for your mood and your confidence. It releases endorphins and just makes you feel good. And the more you work out, the more you'll start to lose and the easier it'll get.

This is just my opinion, and I know not everyone is the same, and while it's a good idea to set goals, but I wouldn't go strict on them. It's a great goal to want to lose 100 lbs by 25, and it's doable, but you also don't want to get to 25 in a couple of years and have no lost it all. I'm only mentioning this because since college, I would set goals, like I want to weigh "x by date" and it never worked for me. If you can make it work, disregard everything I said above. If that's your motivation, then do it.

You're definitely not alone though. One of my close friends is tall, thin, and really pretty but she's never really had a boyfriend either, and she's 25. A lot of it is due to confidence. I don't know how you feel about therapy, but it's helped her a lot.
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Old 01-04-2015, 12:08 AM   #6
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I'm 27 and I understand how you feel. I have only just recently started to have enough confidence in myself that I think dating is a serious possibility. I have had dates here and there but nothing serious and have never been in love. Just be open to the possibility. Like MelaAnaetoh said earlier, it isn't about the weight as much as it is the confidence. I still have a long way to go but losing what I have lost so far has done wonders. Just know you are not alone and there are plenty of us here to support you on your journey!
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Old 01-14-2015, 01:00 AM   #7
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I hadn't done so much as bat my eyelashes at a guy until I was 23 now I am 27, married, an have a little 3 year old sweetie girl. It comes up fast! I don't think it's hopeless. You have nice goals and if you stick with it you can and will make it there.
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Old 01-15-2015, 02:34 AM   #8
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<3 I was never a dater, for much the same reason. I've also got the curse (blessing?) of being tall, so that always made me really self-conscious, too, on top of the weight. I met my husband, online.
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