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Haven't got to goal weight but people think I will be anorexic

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Old 09-28-2014, 09:30 AM   #1
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Default Haven't got to goal weight but people think I will be anorexic

Starting to get annoyed.everyone is noticing my weight loss . they ask what my goal is and I say 120 or maybe 110.they say no that's to low your going to look anorexic.how can you possibly know that when no one has seen me at that weight since middle school.not to mention I am 5'1. And both 120 and 110 are in the healthy bmi range.i hope when I do get to goal weight I don't hear people start saying I look anorexic im gonna need some witty comebacks
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Old 09-28-2014, 11:18 AM   #2
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People may make those comments for a variety of reasons. Some just don't like change. Others are threatened and there are those who just worry. It doesn't matter though because your goal weight is totally reasonable. Just tell them it's not up for discussion and stay away from discussing your weight loss with those people. I've had my parents worry that I'm too thin and I told them I appreciate their concern but that according to the medical profession and science, I'm not too thin and I don't want them to make those comments to me because I'm really working on getting healthier.

I'm not sure if that's a witty comeback, but it does the trick.
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Old 09-28-2014, 12:04 PM   #3
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I'm guessing most people making these comments are taller than you? For them, it's hard to understand how an adult can weigh so little. They might not realize you're only 5' 1"! Don't stress about it. In the future, instead of saying a goal number, you could say something like "I don't have a specific number in mind." They might have good intentions. They might not. I would try to brush off the comments.
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Old 09-28-2014, 04:05 PM   #4
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Folks that are taller often make comments like that, as Quiet Ballerina suggested. They think of how that weight would look on them as reference. Others may be jealous. Sadly saying someone looks anorexic does seem to be what some throw out as an insult. Some genuinely may be worried about your weight according to what they're use to, like parents, especially with anorexia/bulimia being so common in today's world.

In any case, definitely focus on getting healthy, and make sure they're aware that's what you're doing, and the medical side of things supports that weight. If you think they're genuinely concerned, maybe get together some of the medical paperwork that shows that's a healthy weight for your height, just so they're educated as well. At least that's what I'd try to do. As for the people just trying to be insulting.. I don't have a witty comeback. Ignore 'em, they're jealous
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Old 09-29-2014, 10:55 AM   #5
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I can sort of relate, I am a little taller than you but am still on the short side. I would just say that your doctor thinks this would be a good weight for you. Most of the people I run into are not doctors, and it's hard to challenge someone who is trained in a field that you are not trained in
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Old 09-29-2014, 10:19 PM   #6
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I have had those comments and worse. Among the best have got to be "are you having an affair?" or "are you sick?"

I have found that as I have maintained a lower weight that the comments stopped (both positive and negative). I also work out and as people have slowly noticed that, I have had fewer negative comments too about my weight loss.
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Old 09-29-2014, 10:36 PM   #7
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That sounds like something you can file under "things I really don't have to listen to". Nobody deserves to make any comments about your body but you. Unfortunately we are all guilty of making judgmental comments, mostly out of jealousy. I mean, my god, we're in a weightloss forum, who among us hasn't called something a "skinny *****" either behind their back or to their face?? Who among us hasn't spitefully told one of our skinny friends to eat a sandwich?

Just me?

All right, fine :P

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Old 09-29-2014, 10:47 PM   #8
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I have never been called a skinny b!tch. For the record.

But I would like to be.
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Old 09-29-2014, 10:57 PM   #9
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Ha. Wouldn't we all.
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Old 09-30-2014, 09:30 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IanG View Post
I have had those comments and worse. Among the best have got to be "are you having an affair?" or "are you sick?"

I have found that as I have maintained a lower weight that the comments stopped (both positive and negative). I also work out and as people have slowly noticed that, I have had fewer negative comments too about my weight loss.
My mom watched a show on the food network called the neelys.they were married for 19 years hs sweethearts.she recently lost a ton of weight and divorced her hubby.for some reason every who talks about it thinks it's perfectly reasonable to lose a ton of weight and drop your non thin spouse.
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Old 10-03-2014, 10:01 PM   #11
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110-120 is perfectly fine for someone who is 5'1, especially if you have a good amount of muscle mass. LIFT WEIGHTS.

I'm 5'3 and 110-115 is pretty sustainable for me (anything lower and it gets iffy).
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Old 10-26-2014, 08:53 AM   #12
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Just yesterday I was sitting in a salon getting a pedicure when a friend stopped by to say hi, and then she asked me how I was feeling because I looked "small and tired". One, I'm not small - in comparison to where I started perhaps as I've lost 111 pounds since February, but I'm still at 180 for the moment so I'm not "small". Two, yeah I probably did look tired because my hair was still damp and not exactly coifed and I had no makeup on because I had just left the gym about 15 min before she stopped in. And yeah I WAS tired LOL Lifting weights will do that to a person :P

We made plans to see a movie tonight and I got a message from another friend who is joining the group. The message contained a comment that I had better be eating a giant tub of buttered popcorn because she heard that I was looking gaunt and my "obsession with losing weight" was out of hand. She went on to say that I can't stop eating "good stuff" because I'm paranoid to gain a pound. WTF??? Really??? How can a 5'7" woman who weighs 180 pounds be considered gaunt??? And yes I go to the gym 6 days out of 7, but I don't think taking a group class for an hour before work and sometimes after work is an obsession. It makes me feel good and I enjoy the classes.

I don't believe the comments were made out of malice, but it made me really think. I would never tell them to NOT eat movie popcorn because its not good for you because I don't think it hurts to treat yourself once in awhile. And I do splurge occasionally, and they know this, so why say things like that to me? I also realized that I've been the topic of conversation between them and obviously not in a great way given the negative vibe I got from the comments. That bothers me some.

My goal is 154 - perfectly reasonable and really at the higher end of the healthy range for my height/age. So I've decided to not let what they say alter my mindset. I'll still smuggle in my own unbuttered popcorn tonight and let them think what they will. Next time I might want that giant bucket of salty, buttery movie house goodness LOL but it will be because I want it, not because they think I'm doing something wrong by NOT getting it like they are.

Rant over
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Old 10-29-2014, 08:21 PM   #13
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I have a policy of answering nosy questions with TMI and just grossing out the other person to teach them a lesson.

Seriously, good for getting compliments for your success but you don't owe anyone an answer about your weight loss goals. Or you could always say something like "I'm aiming for the healthy bmi range." or "My doctor suggested x-y range would be a good goal." Even if your doctor never actually said that, who will argue with that reasoning?
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Old 10-30-2014, 01:56 AM   #14
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Just tell them that there's not such thing as "looking" anorexic because that's a mental health issue not an issue of weight and dive into the psych of it and how insensitive it is to say that as you watch their eyes glaze over... they won't mention it again!!
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Old 10-30-2014, 09:11 AM   #15
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This can be a defense mechanism for people that are leading unhealthy lifestyles themselves. But I would also be careful in how you approach food around other people. Instead of saying, "That's not healthy, I can't it it" Try I really love grilled veggies so I'm going to have that" See the difference. One can evoke a defensive reaction, and the other is a non argumentative statement.
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