You have to understand that you are the one that can control your thoughts about yourself. No one else can make you think these thoughts. So, with that being said, you are also the only one that can make yourself think great thoughts about you. And you can do this. If you keep giving yourself excuses to think and say bad things about yourself, there will no room and no time to say and think all of the good things you should be expressing.
In order to lose weight, you have to find respect and love for your body. You have to understand that the things you do for your body in order to lose weight and gain health must come from a place of love and a desire to nourish your body with good foods. In order to take really good care of yourself, you must look at your body as the place where your true self lives. So, just like you would clean your house and decorate it to please your tastes, you must evaluate your body the same way. You are able to move, to breathe on your own, to write, to think for yourself. There are many others that cannot move on their own, cannot care for themselves, that have mental disturbances so severe that they cannot trust their own thoughts. You are a person. An overweight person, yes, but a person nonetheless. Presuming you are otherwise in fair health, look at how you are spending your time.
Instead of moving around with your glorious body, you are ridiculing it. Instead of enjoying your power to think and express yourself, you are cutting yourself into tiny little pieces with your own sharp tongue in an attempt to justify the condition of your body. You should take some of your thoughts and the ability to use your hands, and write something positive about yourself.
You will not be able to change your appearance and your weight in a day. But you can start this journey. And the journey doesn't just involve cutting back on food and exercising. It means that you have to find the reasons that you comfort yourself with food, and the reasons you keep allowing yourself to do it. You may need professional help for this. You have to really find in yourself the love you truly deserve-from YOU, not others. It isn't about what others think about the size or shape of your body or your face. They don't matter. You do. Your motivation to change your relationship with your self image and your true image have to come from a gentle, respectful place.
I hope this doesn't come across as abrupt. I am really trying to let you know that you deserve to stop the guilt and shame about how you look and how much you weigh. You may have gotten to the weight you are, but there is no reason and rule that says you have to gain any more weight or stay at this weight unless you allow it. You can change it, but you have to find the true inspiration for changing it. I hope your inspiration would be that you care enough about your life, your health and your relationships with others to change. Make great changes, and tell yourself great things. You become what you focus on, and like the people you surround yourself with. So focus on changing your life and your view of your self, and surround yourself with people that love you just as you are.