feeling like I haven't learned yet
 

My weight gain is spiraling out of control. I feel like I've lost all motivation and don't even know what to do anymore like I can't even remember what it feels like to look happy in the mirror. I feel like I'm dodging out of photos and canceling all these events with acquaintances. I honestly don't feel like I know what to do except go back to the gym. I'm pretty sure there are real issues behind me feeling like this. I can't fit into a lot of my clothes and it's breaking my heart. I feel like a failure in losing weight again but I don't want to hit rock bottom. When I was doing well people would tell me I was obsessed with my weight loss now that I haven't been and can't even remember what exactly I was doing I have ballooned out of control. Why did I even listen to them in the first place? I actually liked myself smaller even if people were still calling me fat. If I hit 170 pounds it will be 30 pound increase in a year. :?:

I have a history of yoyo dieting, so perhaps I shouldn't be offering advice, but since I have psyched myself up to lose weight many times, here's what I've done. Usually, there is a period of getting my mojoback before I can actually get into the swing of things. One thing that helps me get my mojo back is to try baby steps. I would often start with a very small and achievable goal, like taking my supplements daily. Sometimes I upped my water intake. Maybe I would resolve to drink a glass of water or eat some raw veggies before each meal. I would NOT start with restrictions.

Over the years, I've found that counting calories and logging foods are very effective for weight loss. So, if you don't remember what to do, you might try that approach. Once I built up my "mojo" (became more obsessed with weight management), it was easy to do the counting and logging that was necessary. Where I, personally, fall down on the job is follow-through in maintenance (so now I am taking an approach that does not involve counting, but I think it is less effective for the weight loss phase).

I just started back my eating a bowl of steamed vegetables for pre breakfast. I probably should make a food journal so I'm more accountable for what I've eaten for the day. I think part of my confusion is that I didn't leave any notes from while I was doing well on what I was eating daily.

What about your blog? Anything you can use from there to help you?

I'm with yoyoma- baby steps to get back into the swing of things. It's hard but there's a lot of "hards" in life- pick yours. I definitely agree with logging your food, on an app, online or paper- whichever works for you. You need commitment, not just motivation.

Screw people, tune them out. I know, easier said than done but once you do it, you'll feel a lot better, less stressed and remember... this is all about YOU, not them. YOUR journey, not theirs.

YOU GOT THIS, GIRL!!!

Thanks! I reread my blog but it's got a lot about how much I exercise as opposed to how I eat. I am going to take baby steps because I promised myself that I'm going to work on my self esteem this year. It's been stressful confronting myself with realizing how much I let people's negative vibes effect everything. I was looking at the Pyramid challenge that's up currently in this forum and I think I'm going to try it. It's accountable for both the exercise and nutrition that I need to tackle but in a tangible way. It's like perfect timing or something. I want to lose weight but I want to feel good about myself too.

It's never too late!!!

No matter where you are at NOW, you don't have to go up higher. You can stop this and start feeling better. It is soooooo hard, because we have to forgive ourselves for getting a bit out of whack. But that is life, and this is just a bump in the road.

Hugs. I've been there and am currently struggling with staying with my range.

Please do join the pyramid challenge! I think it's so important to pick yourself up and start from the beginning, one baby step at a time, for the weight to stay off for good. I'm currently in my "oh crap, I've just regained a bunch of weight" stage so we can do this together! Don't feel like you failed, feel motivated to do something positive to make yourself HAPPY!

I wrote some goals last night for my pyramid but I don't feel like I created enough goals yet. I was thinking that I need break down my goals into being more specific. I had a new years resolution to run a 5k for the first time. I signed myself up for one not really sure if I can actually accomplish it now since it's a month away but I will definitely try since I paid for it. My cycle just started again so I think PMS might have been part of the overwhelming feelings I was having. Does anyone else get mood swings like that?

Yes!! Man, I can become a crazy monster when I'm PMSing! There's a reason us women have a bad reputation -_-.