muguet:Thanks! It should be really fun, and I'm going with a friend that I haven't seen in a couple years, so we're both excited. I think I'm going to go with a knitted shirt I got in Cuba and shorts though, I think I'll be more comfortable in that
Also, I'm going to change my Phase 2 nutrition goal. I thought keeping up with a food journal would make me think more about my food choices, but it doesn't seem to affect it either way. Instead, I'm going to focus on my energy on cutting out late night eating. It's a struggle for me, and it's definitely something I should work on. Rie, I hope that's alright!
"No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again."
So I've become a bit of a useless hermit for the past week. I'm slowly starting to come out of my slump, I think with all the huge changes in my life I needed a week to just relax and do nothing. I've applied for a few jobs, which always takes forever I find having to tweek my resume and cover letters for each individual job, but so far I've only received an acceptance of application email or bitter silence. That's the worse part of job searching, when you put an hour of your time aside to apply and you don't even get an email to say whether you've been successful or not. It's also been difficult to put that time into applying for a job that I really don't want. I know I want a creative life, so knowing I'll have to get a job to get some money in is really hard for me.
What's been disappointing is that even know I want to pursue my creative goals I keep losing myself in the clouds imagining a successful life. So much so that I don't actually do anything NOW to achieve those goals. I had a pep talk with my boyfriend today about it, so I'm feeling a lot better and I'm starting to accept that I did just need a week to unwind and not do anything. I have a plan and I know what I want to do so I just need to do it. It's really that simple!
HOWEVER, despite feeling doom and gloom and missing life in Japan (even though I wanted to leave, yup, I'm complicated like that) and also missing my boyfriend, I've managed to fit in my runs for the week. So far I've done 2 runs with my new running buddy, my dog Luna. She's a bit naughty on the lead...something my parents have NEVER been good at doing with their new dogs, so sometimes it's really embarrassing trying to keep her under control when she's lunging at other dogs and even barking! She never barks so it's kinda scary when she does (not in that I'M scared but it's just weird when she does it). Anyway, yes, I've ran twice this week! I need to run tomorrow, a 4.5 mile run, then on Sunday I'm going to fit in a small strength workout or a yoga session to complete my first exercise goal for phase 4.
My nutrition goal of not buying junk food has obviously been going well. Mainly because I don't buy the food! So I might have to change it now to don't EAT junk food. My Mum is a feeder, she will purposefully buy me things that are healthy but also things that I like, which are bad for me. Thankfully she's stopped buying me Coke so I'm on water, but there are these crisps that I love that she bought 2 massive packs of. Once they're gone I'm gonna ask her not to buy them. I've been counting calories again to make sure I don't constantly graze while I'm at home. There are healthy snacks like whole grain pita and hummus, as well as plenty of fruit to snack on too. But it's the amount I have that's the problem! So counting calories again is really going to keep me on track. I've been over by 100 on Tuesday and 75 yesterday, so today I'm hoping to stick with it.
My weight shot up. In Japan I was seeing numbers between 163-165 lbs but now I'm up to 167 lbs =/. I am on my period right now, so that's probably not helping, but it's really hard knowing that I'm close to the 170's!! I know all I can do is keep pushing forward and most importantly be patient. Weight loss doesn't usually kick in for me until I've been consistent for a while, so I have to be vigilant!
Just to let everyone know, yes, I am working on a Halloween challenge! I'm going to put it out soon, I'm actually going to publish it on multiple forums instead of just limiting it to the 20-something forum, so I hope that it's a success. I just need to finish the welcome thread and the spreadsheet itself then it'll be up and running.
On a more person and uplifting note, my boyfriend finally told his Dad that we're getting married. We were both very nervous about his response as his parents aren't very emotional and we were worried they wouldn't see the point of why we're getting married. But it all went well, he's happy for us and had no problem. Which means we can now FINALLY start going forward with the visa application since we needed documents/a US address for the forms. His Dad is going to tell his Mum (who doesn't like me) then they're all going to Skype again soon. So I don't know what his Mum thinks but as long as one of them is supportive I don't really care.
Which leads me into...I really REALLY want to be at a healthy weight (below 150 lbs) by the time we get married. We're probably going to be married in early March time, so I have enough time to achieve the goal, so that's what I'm going to work towards. 17 lbs in 7 months is completely do-able if I dedicate myself to it!
Chelain - Thanks! Congrats on completing your first phase! I know how you feel about new clothes, especially dresses in my case. I don't feel comfortable in dresses at all, but every now and then I'll see one I like and I always feel nervous premiering it! I'm sure you'll look fine. Of course you can change goals, I do it all the freakin' time, haha! Sometimes we realise some goals are a little bit harder than others so no worries.
Dott - Thank you so much for your encouragement, I missed you too! You're always so supportive and lovely, it'll be great being back on the forum and having you to push me along! Congrats on finishing piano camp! How come the director owes you money? Have they paid you back yet? Wow, that's an insane bargain. I can't wait to start buying things for my future house, I think my house is going to look so insane...I have all sorts of random crap that I wouldn't mind putting all over the place! Your cooking looks delicious, I wish I could make such delicious looking food. I must admit, I used to be in the mindset that you couldn't eat much too, but I'm glad you've proven me wrong. I love theme parks, though as I've grown up I've become more of a wimp. In England there's a theme park called Alton Towers, it's usually the place where a lot of "firsts" are made before the Americans or Germans make it bigger and better. For example their newest ride drops the carriage vertically to another level then goes backwards! It's really cool and the first of its kind (or so they say). One of their rides is a 90 degree drop into a black hole in the ground, it always scares the crap out of me when I'm on the way up. I always say "why am I doing this to myself?!"
I honestly couldn't do the nutrition goal you've been trying but if it works for you and makes you feel good then I support it! Hey, if your body bounces back to 140 lbs then at least you look awesome at that weight!
milesawaygirl - Hope you're well and come back soon!
ChelainaBear-How did the concert go? I would highly recommend 5:2 or IF to anyone, you should give it a go!
Rie-Well, I ended up having to front money because they didn't plan their budget very well. I still haven't been paid back, but don't think I will be for a few weeks. That theme park sounds so awesome but so scary! I want to go! haha The falling into the ground ride sounds way too scary for me though. Yeah, I've had to change my final nutrition goal so many times! Staying totally on plan wasn't realistic bc something would always come up, so now I'm just trying to stick to my two fasting days instead. The fasting part of 5:2 is surprisingly easy for me so as long as I can stick to that for 5 weeks I'll consider this challenge a success! Omg you're Halloween Challenge is out of control this year! hahaha Its HUGE. Its like THE challenge lol I'll join of course, but probably wait till closer till it starts so I have a better idea about my weight and what will be a realistic goal I love the Halloween Challenge. I love fall so much in general, always seems like a very optimistic time. Of course you needed a week to relax and unwind! You've had this whole giant move and I imagine emotionally it took a lot out of you. Have you thought about making a pyramid challenge for your artistic goals? Look at you getting right back into running! That's fantastic! Oh I wish I had a dog. I want a puppy so bad, but it will be a few years till I can get one I'm so glad your bf finally told his dad!!! And that he's supportive of you guys. I know his mom is crazy, but hopefully she'll realize how lucky she is to be getting such an awesome girl for a daughter in law! You can so get below 150 by the time you get married! You know exactly what you need to do and you've done it before so you can do it again! Don't doubt yourself
Well I had a very fun weekend. My fiance came here and Sat we went on a hike in the mountains/high desert. There was this cool stream with pools and I got in it and the water was really nice. Then we got dressed up for his high school reunion Sat night. I was DD so it was kind of boring not being able to drink, also I felt awkward around all these people who knew each other so well. Most of the SO's had been with their partner for a long time(like since high school or early college) so everyone already kind of knew each other. I was the only odd person out but I made the best of it. M had a really awesome time and got a little drunk lol I was glad he got to have so much fun though since he's been really stressed with work lately. Sunday we ran a bunch of errands and I was feeling down so M took me to this fancy mall that I've never been to around here. We went to the candy store and he bought me some candy that we shared later then we looked in some stores. It was so awkward for me bc I've been so poor for so long now that I don't shop is "regular" stores. Everything I get is from discount stores or thrift stores so I was shocked by the prices! M wanted to treat me but the prices were just too high at the stores he took me to. I asked instead if we could go to Forever 21 which is where I go when I'm treating myself but I know most people go there for cheap clothes! I found a ton of stuff so we managed to cut out two items M wasn't crazy about. But yeah I got 3 shirts, a pair of high waisted red shorts, a pretty lace burgundy dress, and a faux leather mini skirt Really nice weekend.
Food was another story though.
Nutrition-Awful. I did successfully fast 2 days last week and realized fasting is super easy for me. Its the non fast days I struggled on. You're supposed to eat "normally" the other days but I had a lot of trouble figuring out what the right amount was and honestly gave up and instead ate everything. Not because I was hungry either. I realized I NEED rules when losing. I did wonderful on my maintenance break eating intuitively, but when losing I need some strict rules or I get lost. So I'm changing my official nutrition goal to fasting 2 days per week. That I can do. Sticking 100% OP for over a month I can't because SOMETHING will come up(an event, party, etc). So for my non fasting days my personal goal is to stay at 1700 on regular/light exercise days and 2000 on intense exercise days. Intense exercise days are days I exercise for 2+ hours which happens once or twice per week.
Today is a fasting day and I'm doing fine except for a headache and really bad cramps since I started TTOM today I had lots of plans for today but right now I think I need a nap honestly. I'm exhausted and I know I'm crazy for fasting on TTOM but after this awful weekend, I really need to get right back on plan.
Exercise-Still going great! Today I might do a bit on the stationary bike if I'm up to it. Tomorrow might do weights or a hike. Wed I'm aiming for an early morning hike or the stationary bike. Thursday up the mountain hiking for a few hours. Friday will probably take an evening walk to the beach since I'll be at M's or might do weights.
Weight-Got back down to 137.something last week after my 2nd fast. This weekend put me up to 141 though BUT that isn't that high considering how I was trending at 140.something for a few weeks and I seriously ate around 3000-4000 calories Sat and Sunday and its TTOM. Sooooo I'm not weighing again till after my 2nd fast this week and I'm not expecting to see a low number considering its TTOM and this past weekend was so awful. My new calorie plan will really knock some weight off for next week though!
Including some picks. First are from the hike, then the reunion.
My period is over and I had a big WHOOSH today! I was weighing 167.something ALL week last week but I stepped on the scale this morning and I weighed 165.4 lbs! It felt SO good. I was starting to forget what losing weight felt like!! So needless to say, I'm so happy about the loss.
After an awesome week last week with exercise I seem to have hit a brick wall. I need to really throttle myself to not slip into lazy habits. The weather here is so crappy right now, it's just wind and rain. But I have to toughen up if I'm going to run a 10K.
My nutrition has actually been a lot better, my Mum has an allotment where she grows loads of vegetables so the past 2 nights I've had loads of vegetables. I've been a bit slack on the water intake and I find myself needlessly snacking. At least the snacks tend to be healthy but still, not a good habit to get in. I really need to use Dott's system of evaluating how hungry I actually am and whether it's a mental craving or a physical one.
So yesterday I went to the job centre in my city to go to an appointment since I had applied for job seeking benefits. It turns out, REALLY annoyingly, that if someone has been abroad and returns to the UK you have to have lived in the country for 3 months before receiving benefits. So for 3 months, if I can't find work, I have no money to live off. I mean sure, I do having savings, but I desperately didn't want to use that money at all and now that's all the money I can use. It's heart wrenching to look at my account and see the number continually drop after wanting that money to go towards moving to America so badly. It's not the end of the world, I'm lucky that my parents will support me (with giving me a roof over my head and not asking money for anything...yet!) but on a childish level I'm really annoyed that I won't be getting any help while I look for a job. It's not that much money a month but it would have gotten me by, travelling for interviews for example. If I did want to volunteer that money would have helped with that travel expense too. Also, while on job seeking benefits you can apply to the local college and some courses are free - so I would be able to use my time to apply for a qualification that could get me office work, which is the type of work I really want. But nooo, I'm missing out on that too because of this stupid rule!
I found a diet plan that I'm looking to do when my parents go on holiday (AGAIN!) at the end of the month. I usually hate the idea of a strict diet plan, but it's a runners diet and it's the first meal plan I've ever seen and thought "I could totally do that and not feel like I'm cutting anything out that I love." It's a 7 day plan so I think it's do-able, if I like it and I see results then I'll see about continuing it. It's basically a 3 meals a day with 2 small snacks plan. The first 2 meals are served with fruit and there's some vegetables in the lunch/dinner option. But not too much to scare a vege-phobe like me!
Dott - The ride is terrifying! Here's a picture of the view from the top: It doesn't do it justice since it's REALLY high up. The worse part is that the carriage is suspended over the edge for a brief moment so you have to look at where you're going! The delay used to be a lot longer, like you'd be sat there hanging for 3-4 seconds (a long time when you're up there...) but in recent years it's really brief. I always go on it when I visit, but very reluctantly. So do you literally eat nothing for 2 days? Just drink water? I can't believe how easy you're finding it! Yeah, I looove making the challenge busy! The past few years there were a few people who wandered in to join, but they would eventually drop out perhaps because the thread wasn't active in their favourite forum. So I decided to go all out this year and make it an across the board challenge! Usually a LOT of people sign up but only a handful of people make it to the very end.
You know what, I hadn't thought about doing a pyramid for creative goals. What an excellent idea! Thank you! I completely understand your pining for a dog...I know that I will really want my own little buddy when I have my own place. I think having a dog on its own all day is possible, however for their mental stimulation and just for fairness it's probably best to get 2 dogs. We've had 2 dogs for years and in the months that one of them has passed away the other one is really effected by being alone. Our dog Murphy got super slow and just generally old, but then when we got a crazy puppy he eventually lit up and acts like a pup himself. But they are super expensive so I know I won't be able to have one for a long time . I'm making the most of it now! Aww, thanks hun, I really hope she can see how happy I make her son and even if she doesn't like ME she can still appreciate me in a way. But I'm a nice person, I've never done anything horrible but hey ho, mother in laws are mostly troublesome.
It's always tough going into a social situation where everyone knows everyone, but glad to hear that you felt you made the most out of it. I'm sure people were thinking look at M with his smokin' hot fiance . That's so nice of him to buy you clothes! I looove Forever 21, it's so cheap and cheerful. I bought one of my favourite jumpers from there, it's over sized but I just love slobbing around the house in it. I think some day it might look cool with leggings when it truly drowns me out. I quite like the big baggy top with super skinny bottoms look.
Even though you splurged on the food this weekend at least you had an awesome time. I think if you really want to reach your 125 lbs goal it might take a bit of sacrifice to get there, but if you really want it then I think you can do it. A bit of a random question, but do you have any pictures of you at your heaviest? I have only ever seen you while you've been a healthy weight and I just cannot imagine you being 200 lbs!
Dott: The concert was lovely! Thank you for asking And I've been looking into 5:2, because I need something that doesn't follow the exact pattern every single day, if that makes sense.
Rie: That ride looks terrifying! I've always had a heights thing though, I can always imagine myself splattering at the bottom.
I did not meet my exercise goals last week, so I'm probably going to be in Phase 2 for an extra week, but that's okay. I was very busy with work and my concert, and I only got half of my exercise done (cardio but no strength). I'm going to go to the gym in town and check out how expensive it is, because I think it'll be worth it in the long run. It's hard to get a lot of exercise in a tiny house.
Nutrition has been good, but VERY hard. I can meet my water goals consistently, but late night eating is a constant struggle for me. I always want to eat at night, and I know it's a mental craving and not a physical one. So far, I've resisted.
I attached some pictures of the concert, it was lots of fun! I got a weird sunburn and I didn't drink as much water as I should have, but it was worth it. We were VIP members so we got to meet all the bands, AND the DJ's from the radio station, and we got access to the free beer bar.
I also got my hair done a week ago, and it's very summery and more natural for me, so I included a picture of that. It used to be very dark brown, almost black.
"No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again."
chelainabear-I understand not wanting to follow the same pattern to keep things fresh and make planning around life easier I love the pictures from your concert! Looks like you had an amazing time and your outfit is very cute. As far as eating late at night...that's why I find IF helpful. On days I have an eating window I wait till late afternoon to eat so my window goes later into the evening since that's when I prefer to eat
Rie-Ok seriously whenever I see that pic my stomach drops! lol I would probably ride it, but probably faint in the process haha Ok so now I need to come to England for your rides! Congrats on the whoosh! TTOM just ended for me and it was seriously depressing how much my weight goes up during it! But its back down again. That's awesome your mom grows those fresh veggies Someday I really want a proper garden. I'm sorry about the job benefits not working out, that's super lame It really isn't fair at all, but at least you do have some savings and a place to live, food, etc. You'll get through this and you will find a job an be able to save money for your big move soon
I didn't realize you were a veggiephobe! Girl, if you came and stayed with me you'd become the biggest veggie lover! haha I'm glad this diet sounds like a reasonable plan for you. And I see nothing wrong with having a strict plan. I've found for myself lately if I want to lose weight I need a really strict plan.
I don't literally eat nothing! No with 5:2 you have 2 "fasting" days where you eat up to 500 calories. Some people allow for more if needed. I'm sticking to 500 on the dot on most of my fasting days. I guess the diet is pretty big in the UK since that's where it started. It's pretty interesting to read about actually. It wasn't originally designed for weight loss, but for other health benefits and longevity. And then people noticed they lost weight so it's become popular as a diet For the other 5 days you're to eat "normally" and that's where myself and lots of other people seem to have the most trouble. A lot of people don't count on the 5 days and you're supposed to eat TDEE(maintenance) but for me since I don't have a lot to lose I try to keep a little under. The low calorie days really aren't hard for me, and it seems they get easy for most people. I think the body is just really good at adjusting.
You know, you are so right about the sacrifice thing! Seriously Rie, I've been thinking about that all week(especially when I want an extra cookie lol). Bc these really are vanity lbs it WILL take some sacrifice and I need to be willing to commit fully. Yes it sucks and its annoying, but I have to "suffer" a little if I want to reach my goal. Thank you, you really helped me so much with that comment! I had a total epiphany over it
I do have photos at my heaviest! Although not many. I've been "normal" looking for a while though, even at heavier weights bc I did carry it well. From 155-180 I'm a perfect hourglass. Honestly I liked my shape then better than I do now. I remember at 175 my measurements were like 40-30-40 I'll post some pics at my heaviest for you
Had a great week! Now at my fiance's for the weekend. I'm looking for a piano here and think I might have found one (fingers crossed!). I'm not sure about plans for the weekend yet. M is at a dentist app this morning and aside from getting the piano all I know is I want to go to the beach at some point Oh and I want to go out tonight for a drink. I'm feeling in a "party" kind of mood and really want to wear my new flirty dress! I know I'll do some baking and cooking while here and hopefully tomorrow we can lounge at the beach. School starts in two weeks so I want to get as much "summer" in that I can!
Nutrition-Going great! Yay I've stuck to my calorie plan every day this week! Rie has seriously helped me focus with her comment about making sacrifices. Really for most of my weight loss I really didn't have to try [i]that[i] hard. But now its hard and I know what I need to do and am super determined to do it! My fasting days were fine. Monday was hard bc of TTOM, but honestly not too hard. Wed was very easy. I've been making some great recipes lately and haven't had any dairy or taken any lactaid this week. I'm keeping to my calorie goals now!
Exercise-Usual Hiked thursday, stationary bike Wed, hike thursday, long walk friday, not sure yet about this weekend but planning another long walk and a swim at some point. Went on a great hike on Thursday with my sister. 3.5 hours and 8.6 miles. We went to these mountain springs and she wanted me to take some pictures of her so we ended up doing a little photoshoot of each other lol She's a model so it makes sense This is really funny though, we actually ended up taking our tops off and doing some artistic topless photos haha We were right on the trail too! I was so paranoid and freaking out, but my sister was just like, "Meh, who cares?" about it! The photos turned out very nice and I would post them here, but although you can't see anything in them, I don't want to get in trouble Its so funny though bc whenever my sister takes photos of me I always think I look weird and what I realized is that its my sister sees me differently than I see myself. She really shows me as vulnerable and even a little dark when she photographs me and I'm not used to seeing myself that way.
Weight-TTOM and last weekend made my weight shoot up 4lbs! I was so miserable about it But yesterday it was all back off lol I'm staying so well within my calorie goals I know next week I'm going to have a whoosh, I can feel it! I was wondering, can you guys tell when you're going to lose weight/are losing weight? I always notice my face looks a little pinched when I'm losing and also my measurements always drop before the scale. Its so weird, but always my measurements and the scale are a few days off from each other.
Picture time! So since Rie requested I'll do some of me when I was heavier. Wow, it was actually very very hard to find photos. I think I might be close to my heaviest in a couple of them. I'm not even entirely sure about my size or measurements when I was a bit over 202. I know I wore clothing that was way way way too small for me and I remember not being able to fit into even the XL at many stores(like Forever 21) but I refused to shop plus size. Honestly, I wasn't at my heaviest for very long. And the gain was so fast since it all happened within a few months after I got out of eating disorder treatment so there just wasn't that much time to document it anyways :/ I'm thinking I can find some really good old ones on my parents computer so when I do my official goal post I should have some more. Most of the photos I have are after I started trying to be healthier. Its a little hard to tell in the photos, but I believe the ones where I'm in the black dress(It was an 80s party!!!!) are when I was at or near my heaviest. You can really tell in the one I'm sitting down in how big I was even though I tried so hard to hide it And for reference a very basic bikini photo of me now. Its actually really crazy looking at these photos. I don't even recognize myself. That person is so dead and gone now.
Sorry I've been away! . I honestly have no other excuse other than shame! Completely lost track of myself and need to find myself a good routine to stick to it. Fo REAL! I need to stay accountable and not avoid the forum just because I've been lazy. That's just counter productive.
I'm now registered at a recruitment agency and they are putting me forward to see if I can be interviewed by a super top secret security organisation. They couldn't tell me much but it sure does sound exciting. If I had to do an office job I would rather it be interesting. I signed up on Thursday so hopefully they will start lining up some interviews for me. They're a tiny recruitment place, just 2 women work there, so I'm hoping that works in my favour since I know big recruitment companies probably wouldn't care. It's taken a load off my mind though since I feel like it's a step forward. I've heard nothing back from any applications I've sent personally, so knowing I'm registered to a agency makes me feel like I'm not completely on my own.
My boyfriend has been working at a summer camp since Thursday, he's only sent me 2 brief messages so I really am missing him! I feel so stupid really, but I'm so used to talking to him that when I don't get to speak to him I feel really weird. I'm researching into the visa application process, it's so tiring and long winded. It's not exactly hard, but it's just a lot of messing around trying to get everything together. Then there'll be an awful wait while it's all processed =/.
My exercise/weight hasn't been too well. But I know exactly why so I won't complain. Needless to say, I gotta sort out my sh!t. I'm back up to 166 lbs, but no doubt it's up to 167...possibly 168 lbs from the last few days. Gah, I'm sorry. I know how frustrating I probably am to listen to. I'm just a horrible procrastinator in all areas of my life. "I'll start a new routine tomorrow" is what I always say. I just need to do it, I want to lose weight for Halloween, I want to lose weight for Christmas so I can be proud of myself and to surprise my boyfriend at the same time.
Dott - Haha, if I stayed with you I wouldn't be complaining about the veggies, your cooking looks and sounds delicious! My Mum isn't really creative with the vegetables, but when she does make an effort to make something interesting I usually like it a lot. Aaah, I see I see. I didn't know it originated here, but it's good to know it didn't start out as a weight loss diet but rather something for a medical condition. 500 calories is such a low amount, you have some strong will power. I know I could probably last until dinner time rationing it out, but then I would want a full meal! Props to you.
If I had known the power of the small comment I would have gone into it more! I'm glad it helped. You know what though, all these women we see in the media, they are always on plan and they don't go off it and they work SO HARD to achieve that body shape. No wonder they go crazy when someone comes along and says they look fat! I know I would never be able to sacrifice that side of my life, once I feel like my body is at a weight that it bounces to (like yours at 140 lbs) I think that's when I'll stop. I don't have the right stuff to push it all the way to be SUPER fit. I think you can do it though, you're so dedicated and I know when you put your mind to something you simply do not give up. It does mean being on plan 7 days a week though, if you're prepared for it then go for it!
Can I ask though...if you prefer your body when you were heavier why did you continue to lose weight? Could you stay in the upper threshold of the healthy BMI range without being overweight and still like the shape of your body?
Wow, that sounds so fun that you did that photo shoot! I would freak out too though, but I admire your sisters confidence. She's right though, who cares? It's just the human body! It'd be good to see some pictures from it without sounding creepy...it's just the way you said she captured you in a moment that you're not used to seeing is interesting. I can usually tell when I'm going to lose weight by the amount of effort I put in. I know if I don't see a loss or if I see a gain it's because I did something wrong. But not in my actual physical appearance no...it's more of a feeling I get from knowing I was on plan 100%. But measurements are always the first to reflect change for sure.
Thank you for sharing your pictures...WOW! I can't believe how different your face looks in your pictures. You've come such a long way, I'm so proud of you!! I know I've only sort of stepped into your life as you've been close to your goal but what you've achieved is incredible. You're such an inspiration!
I'm sorry I haven't checked in lately, but I finally met my goals for phase 2 and am progressing onto phase 3 as of today.
Exercise: I'm sticking with one session of strength training per week, but upping my cardio to 2x a week. And one of those for this week was tonight
Nutrition: I'm rearranging these goals a bit! I only ate at night once during the last 3 weeks (as it took me an extra week to meet my exercise goals) and it was TOM and I'd worked 12 hours that day so I cut myself a break. For the next 3 weeks, hopefully, I'm going to cut out all regular soda. Only diet, and I plan on making those kind of rare as well.
Sorry I don't really have the time or energy to reply to your posts in the way they deserve, but good luck on the job, Rie!
And Dott, your transformation photos are AMAZING. I seriously hope I can share something similar, and make that much progress. Way to go!
I'm exhausted and struggling, I have been working 45-55 hours per week between two different jobs, and at home I end up often cleaning up after my sister and her boyfriend, and helping to take care of their 2 month old baby. I adore him, but there's not much time for me. I'm trying not to make excuses about getting my exercise in, though, I definitely can make the time.
"No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again."
Rie-I'm sorry its been tough to stick to plan lately, but now that you have the halloween challenge I know you'll really kick things into gear! So glad things are going well with the recruitment agency! I really hope you get hired somewhere soon! I can only imagine how hard it is being away from your boyfriend I miss my fiancÚ during the week but still get to talk with him and see him on the weekends! You are really strong and I admire you guys for making things work long distance.
You know, I really don't think my willpower is strong! lol But I really am an all or nothing type of thinker so having that 500 calories set in stone works for me mentally. Honestly, its not as hard as you might expect! Noname on here is really the one who got me interested in it since she does 5:2 and she's been at it for over a year! I really enjoy it actually and I think the fasting days become 2nd nature after a while. Plus being able to eat "normally" the other days really helps. I don't like rationing it out actually, I prefer to just have dinner. I think starting with IF doing 16:8 made the transition really easy for me. I'm actually surprised that I've kept with it now and am going on my 4th week! Its been the only thing though that's broken my affair with 140 so I'm very happy with this WOE Aw thanks for all the support and believing in me *hugs* It really is an effort though to achieve these goals and you're so right about being on plan 7 days a week!
I preferred my body shape at a heavier weight because it was very curvy but it wasn't able to do all the things I ask of it now regarding fitness so that's why I'm continuing to lose. I'm definitely bummed about my boobs! lol But I figure once I get to my goal I might do a bulk and focus on gaining muscle
Thanks! I really have changed so much on the inside with losing weight too, I think that's what's the most shocking for me. What about you? Does weight loss effect your personality at all?
Chelainabear-Great job meeting your goals for phase 2! You're doing so well I like your nutrition goal, you'll feel so much better cutting out the soda! Thanks! You will make your goals and have lots of awesome progress photos too soon Sorry you've been working so much, sounds like your home life is really hectic as well I don't blame you at all for being tired! I admire your dedication for trying to make the time for health despite how busy your life is
So I had an awesome weekend because MY NEW BABY GRAND PIANO CAME!!!! AHHHHH! I still am in shock that my fiancÚ got me such a perfect and beautiful gift. It means so much to know he supports me and my career goals that much. I feel so loved and lucky.
He had his house warming party on Saturday and that was mixed. My dad and brother came and while they were there I had fun. But once it was just his family, and especially once his parents left I really didn't have a good time at all I won't go into too much detail but lets just say we don't have the same beliefs when it comes to a lot of things. I kept my mouth shut though and tried to play nice. I'm just glad I only have to deal with them 2-3 times a year
The food I made turned out really good though(even though his family refused to eat it and instead brought their own food bc they don't like vegetables and were freaking out about there being no meat sigh). We had veggie kabobs with a garlic lemon marinade, veggie burgers, veggie dogs. And I made a huge salad with romaine hearts, watercress, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and avocado. I made a balsamic reduction dressing for it and it was so so good.
After his family left me and M just drank and hung out and went on a long walk which was very fun lol We were silly and ridiculous.
Sunday we saw Guardians of the Galaxy(honestly I wasn't that into it and I really wanted to be!) and then found a place that does gluten free vegan pizza! Yay! I haven't had dairy and haven't needed to take a lactaid for a few weeks now and I'm very proud of myself for that It was an awesome lazy day, we don't do those very often so it was nice. Tomorrow night we're going to Santa Barbara and hanging out there Wed after M gets out of court. Thursday I'm going to see one of my best friends whose also a pianist in San Diego. And Tuesday I'm back at school! ahh! No plans for the holiday weekend yet, might hang here so I can get ready for school.
Nutrition: Pretty good. Sticking to my fast days well. While my brother was here last week I was a bit higher on Wed(had 700 instead of 500) bc I have to keep 5:2 hidden from my family. So Friday I did half a fast. Today is a normal fasting day and its been fine and easy. I'm going to make some spring rolls for dinner bc I'm obsessed with making spring rolls right now lol Over the weekend I did indulge but I did much better. Its getting easier on the non fasting days. Sunday, which had become my binge day, I managed to not binge, although I was over. But NOTHING like the crazy 4000 calorie days I was having before. So I really have a handle on the weekends now which makes me very happy. Next weekend I know I'll do even better.
Exercise: Fine. Not as much as I would have liked last week but oh well. I've accepted that the reign of exercise that is summer has come to an end. I'll have my fitness class and my exercise goals will go from 7 hours per week to 3 or 4 starting next week.
Weight: Made my August goal of 135 last week! That was also my goal for starting school so I'm really happy about it. 65lbs down, 10 more to go! For the halloween challenge I made my goal 130, but secretly I'm aiming for 125 since then I would be at goal. I know its not entirely realistic though so my ultimate plan is making goal by my birthday Dec 9th. Today the scale was up 3lbs, but Mondays are always my highest weigh in since I'm coming off the weekend and all the sodium/food bloat from that. I really want to be back by 135 and a bit lower by Friday.
I'm posting some pics with me and the piano!
Have a great week!
Last edited by Dottington : 08-25-2014 at 11:02 PM.
So today I began my quest to learn a dance routine. I have no dance training, I wouldn't say I have 2 left feet but I'm by no means a "dancer". But I know that with the right amount of dedication and practice you can achieve anything - so I started to learn a dance routine of a song I really like. I saw the video a long time ago and I loved the dance to it, I thought it was pretty sexy without being too "look at me stroke my body" sexy. Here's a link if you're interested in watching! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3ltBZ3gKvk
I downloaded a copy and had it set to loop at a certain point as well as slow the speed down to 50%. So I managed to get the basic moves down. I only learnt up to the end of the pre-chorus, but so far I'm having a lot of fun! I felt out of breath since I would do it over and over again and now my legs hurt. I recorded myself doing it, mainly to see what I look like and what to work on. Right now it's my hands, I don't know what they're doing but they have a mind of their own! I figured it'd be interesting to make a video as time goes on if I end up mastering it or not.
The forms from my boyfriend arrived in the post today so I spent about 3-4 hours arranging our application for my fiance visa. It took so long because I had to give evidence of us having already met, so I did a scrapbook style section of pages, then found old flight itineraries as well as printing out scans from our passports. It was hard work, but it's done! I'm just waiting for subject dividers in the post and then I can finally ship it off to the States and wait for it to *fingers crossed* be approved. I'm sure it'll take months though!
I'm starting to get a bit annoyed living back at home again, my parents and I need to iron out the creases in our living habits. I'm quite a private person and I like to feel independent and trusted. My parents do trust me, but for example they're leaving me alone for 2 weeks to look after the 2 dogs, chickens, fish and the house in general. They keep making quips about me not walking the dogs or not feeding myself properly EVEN THOUGH I lived alone for over a year in Japan. They're trying to wind me up on purpose, but it works and that's what's annoying! They also have this AWFUL habit of just walking into my room without knocking. Today my Dad knocked ONCE and then walked in anyway without waiting for me to say "come in". My Mum has this weird thing where she doesn't knock, she just yells my name. What's with that? Too proud to knock I suppose.
Anyway, I am grateful for them and their support in letting me stay, but I wish they would cut out the banter that makes me out to be immature and respect me as an adult equal. They still see me as a young kid sometimes since I'm the youngest of 3 and it's always frustrated me.
Nutrition was not so great today, Once I had breakfast and saw I had received the forms I went on a mad working spree and didn't stop til 5pm. I hadn't eaten by that point, so I ended up having quite a lot to eat. I had a PB sandwich, Pringles (I know...should have avoided them) and some little jaffa cakes. Oh, and I banana - so healthy! Mum made this really unhealthy dinner too - an egg, 2 strips of bacon, fries and baked beans. It wasn't even that tasty, it was just a collection of bad food.
I completely forgot to weigh myself since I've slipped out of the habit, but I will weigh myself tomorrow.
Dott - Aw thanks, we have chosen to do things the difficult way but we love and trust each other. Sometimes it does get hard, but honestly because I get to Skype almost every day it's not so bad. You are definitely seeing results! You were around 140/139 lbs for a while but now you're at 135 lbs! Amazing. Yeah, the biggest complaint about weight loss is boobs! I'm very fortunate, they'll always be the biggest part of my body for better or for worse. Well when I was at my heaviest I was going through depression, losing weight and seeing success in that part of my life really helped with the depression. I started to feel proud of myself at a time where I saw myself as a failure, over time I began to feel confident about my body again. So confidence is the biggest thing that's changed. I still battle with sloth-like tendencies, I think "well I'd rather do nothing today" quite a lot when I should be thinking "I want to be active!" It's something I'm still working on, but the progress is something I chase and I won't progress by being a couch potato! How has it changed you on the inside? You mentioned something about an eating disorder, what did you battle?
Oh wow!! That's so amazing your fiance bought you a piano!!! You will definitely put it to good use, it's wrong to have a pianist stay over and NOT have a piano around. Sorry the party didn't go well, how rude of them to openly complain about your generous offerings . I would probably complain a little in my head about no meat, but that's because I'm a dirty carnivore! But I wouldn't bring my own food and I would enjoy what is offered to me and grateful for the time you spent cooking. Why are you hiding your eating plan from your family? Do you think they would criticise you?
chelainebear-I love your new hair! Much warmer and really makes your eyes POP! I love the color of your eyes, totally jealous. Your nephew is very cute as well. Thanks for sharing You'll make your goal next month! How's giving up soda going?
Rie-I think its so awesome you're learning a dance routine! Totally fun and a great workout Its always great to have fun goals like that. I myself am dance challenged. Its pretty bad and I avoid dancing at all costs because I ALWAYS get made fun of lol My sister is brave though, she is actually a worse dancer than me but will get up and dance on tables(because she's crazy haha) and doesn't care what anyone else thinks. I can't wait for you to master it and post a video! Awesome work getting the visa stuff taken care of!!! Must be exciting knowing that its really happening
I'm sorry about your parents, that does seem like very irritating behavior :/ Its frustrating when parents refuse to see you for your age, especially after all the growing up you did in Japan. Give em time and they'll catch up though.
That is an interesting dinner. What's weird is that sounds like something someone in the South would eat....but for breakfast lol
That's great weight loss has helped made you more confident and got you out of depression Well I actually suffered from anorexia and bulimia for a long time. I've been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder and first starting having issues with food when I was 11. My weight always fluctuated a lot from whatever ED phase I was in but I always ranged from thin to a little chubby(never really overweight). I got big for the first time during an abusive relationship and was overweight for about 1 year before one of my longest and most intense battles of anorexia took over. I was sent away from University to a treatment center for 4 months. After treatment I went crazy with eating bc honestly I wasn't really ready to leave. I felt that if I had to eat, I had to be fat, so I should embrace being fat. So that's how I gained so much weight and got so big. Losing weight was very scary and that's why its been slow for me and why I try and not get really "intense" or too focused on it. So for me its been recovery and helped with my self esteem a lot to know that I can be healthy and that healthy is not a bad thing. Now I feel like I deserve to be happy and live the life I want. So for me, its kind of changed literally everything lol But I cannot share my weight loss attempts with ANYONE who knows my past bc out of concern they will overreact. I know ED stuff will always be a work in progress, and I know I'll never be "cured" since its really more of something you manage than get cured of. But I know I've done my best recovering and this is the longest I've gone without relapsing completely(2.5 years) and I trust myself and I know my triggers. Sorry that was so long!
Have been traveling all around southern california this week! I'm now at my fiance's and will finally be going back home tomorrow(fiance's coming too lol). We went to Santa Barbara since M had to go to court there, but his company paid for his hotel so I stayed the night with him We walked around and explored SB all day and I LOVE it there. Very much the kind of place I want to live. So pretty and just my "style" if that makes sense haha I did a little shopping and got my sister her birthday presents. We ate at this cool indian place where they had a lunch buffet with plenty of vegetarian items. Yesterday I went to see my friend in Oceanside/Carlsbad area and we had a great time. He's my pianist friend and is already very successful. He gave me tons of wonderful advice on my own career and plans and I'm excited to implement the advice he gave It all involves me putting myself out there more and being more confident lol We went to an awesome raw/vegan/gluten free place and it was an amazing feeling being able to eat everything on a menu! I got these tacos(in a lettuce wrap) with walnut "meat" and cashew "cheese". And I got a slice of coconut cream pie. So so good. Then we went to the beach, and it was super hot so didn't stay long.
I'm hoping to do some local hiking this weekend and also I want to go up to the mountains for a hike too. I need to get ready for school starting on Tuesday. I need to get a few new clothing items since recently I seem to have dropped a size. Also regular school stuff too. I need to meal plan and figure out all the grocery lists as well. And do some cleaning!
Nutrition-Fasting today since I couldn't on Wed. I really hate not sticking with a schedule but I'm glad I can change fasting days if I really need to. I'll be doing Wed and Friday next week since Mondays is a holiday. I'm not thrilled with my eating this week, but I've had to eat out for almost every meal and I really tried to make good choices. Next week will be better since I'll have all my meals planned and prepped on Sunday
Exercise-too much driving and not enough movement! I will make my exercise goal for the month though(31 hours) so I have maintained my "happy" level of activity which is 7-10 hours a week. Starting next week though I will be reverting to my "bare-minimum-to-stay-sane" level of 3-4 hours per week.
Weight-I have been away from my scale and have no idea! As mentioned earlier though some of my clothes are getting too big and I think I look slimmer. I will have to leave a note in the Halloween challenge since I haven't been able to weigh in. With school starting I should be getting some more movement in my day to day even if I'm exercising less so I should have a good loss next week. I'm hoping I've at least maintained my weight this week. I'm really excited to keep seeing new low numbers!
I'm including pics of me and M at the indian place, me at my friend's eating a delicious gluten free vegan cake they made for me, and M all dressed up and ready for court at the beautiful courthouse in SB.
Remember me!? I can't believe how long I've been away. I'm sorry. It was my 30th a month ago and I went sort of off the rails for a bit. I had a couple of nights of drinking too much, I've not been to the gym as often as I should've, I've not tracked my eating AT ALL. But here's the thing. I'm back in the 130's. Weird huh?
I've not been totally inactive - I've been to the gym a couple of times and I took part in a skate tournament last weekend which was fun (I thought I did terribly but my team did really well) and I've not eaten terribly, but I've definitely not been following a healthy lifestyle, yet I've lost weight. Technically, I was 10lb lighter yesterday than I was on the day of my Birthday! But I know a lot of that is water and suchlike.
I've definitely started thinking more about ignoring my weight and going for fitness, health, how I feel etc. I follow a lot of fitness professionals on facebook and twitter, and they're all about not weighing. Dott I know you mentioned a while back about being able to tell when you're going to lose? I can generally judge my weight by how bloated my stomach is. It's where I store fat, and the first sign I can tell when I've over-indulged or when I've dropped a bit. I wonder how this will change if I manage to stay on plan long enough to not have bloated days though!
Eugh so much other stuff I haven't replied to. I'll stop now so I don't start typing nonsense. Yesterday was a Monday, and the 1st of a new month, so I'm trying to start afresh slightly retrospectively as of yesterday and somehow clamber back on track. I've joined the Halloween challenge, but I'm in the 30-somethings now! Time to grow up
Hey guys, so I'm having a problem with weight loss right now. First things first is that my parents, trying to be nice and not realising it would be a huge issue, bought me a BUNCH of junk food for me before they went away for 2 weeks. Coke, crisps, chocolate...all the things I love. The problem is, is once I know it's there I feel the urge to eat it and well, I ended up eating it =/. I've drank the bottles of Coke they left so that's all gone, I managed to limit myself to one glass a day (thankfully they only bought me the smaller bottle not the GIANT one). Out of the 2 big chocolate bars I've eaten one and half of the other in the space of 4 days. Of the crisps...well they're small multipack bags but I've been pretty terrible with them, most of it is gone now. I've pretty much been binge eating this junk food with this weird theory that once it's gone it won't tempt me. But it's going in ME and not in the bin where it belongs. I hate wasting food though, I really did not want to throw it away when I'm so lucky to even have it in the first place (I'm one of those "there are people starving elsewhere" people) but I had no way to give it to anyone else. The point is is that I've gorged on this food and now I'm dangerously close to being back in the 170's. I need a huge kick up the bum, guys, I'm slipping back into habits that got me to obesity.
I recorded a video of myself today, it was something I wanted to upload to Youtube to give people advice on applying for a fiance visa since it's something I looked for when I was going through the process. I played back the footage and I couldn't believe how fat my face looks. I'm getting a double chin again. I think this is a huge wake up call, I might be able to trick myself in the mirror by standing and holding myself a certain way, but when I was talking normally to a camera I could see a fat roll under my jaw line and it was shocking to see. I'm now actually SEEING the result of laziness and over eating. I know it sounds silly since I know my weight has been going up, but it's in that moment when it's about how I look not what it says on the scale.
So let me have it guys, tell it to me straight! I need some tough love. I want to be below 150 lbs by the New Year for when my boyfriend comes to visit me but there's no chance of it happening if I stay on this path.
Since my parents are on holiday for 2 weeks I've been getting up early and walking the dogs every single day, today I took them on an extra long walk since I have confidence I could control them if they see another dog. My labrador, Luna, is reaaally bad on the lead when she sees other dogs. She's not aggressive to other dogs but she can be really adamant on wanting to be around another dog, to the point where it looks like she's aggressive. It's so embarrassing! It's my parents fault, they don't train the dogs on the lead, they just walk them and get it out the way. I know I'll take the time to train my future dog that's for sure. Anyway, it was really nice to see them run and play though, now they will sleep all day and leave me alone! I also have to look after chickens, who kinda scare me. They gang up on me! I don't want to be pecked! There are also tropical fish to feed, had a panic the other day that the thing that keeps the water warm was broken but it turns out it turns off when the water is the right temperature. Oops. It's really nice having the place to myself! However I've been sitting on my arse watching TV far too much and not doing anything productive. My life basically is pretty sh!t right now down to my own bad habits.
I need to take this one step at a time, so today my goals are:
- Drink 4 pints of water (2 down, 2 to go)
- Do a Focus T25 workout
- No snacking after dinner ~ I've been in a bad routine recently but it has to stop.
I did Focus T25 on Saturday and I was actually really impressed with how challenging it is. I had done Insanity, so I couldn't help but keep it in mind when doing it. I know Insanity has 40 min workouts, so I thought T25 would be a bit easier. Nope! It's still pretty challenging and I remember stopping multiple times to catch my breath and drink water. I need to focus on running as well though, I want to do a 10K at the end of the month! My Dad has officially chickened out though, after giving me and Mum so much sh!t about doing it. My Mum has actually entered herself into an IRONMAN. Holy wow! She's always wanted to do one, she even tried to do one a few years ago but her bike broke so she couldn't finish. She was so upset but she's entered herself into another one now. I hope she doesn't back out of the 10K, because she should be training!
Dott - Haha, your sister sounds like quite the character! I was wondering, does she make a living from being a model or does she do other work? Wow, it's really interesting reading about your past experiences. What was ED treatment like? Was it really intense? It sounds like you've come a long way and have learnt to love yourself and being healthy - you're such an amazing person! I can see why you don't tell people about your weight loss plans, I can imagine how worried they'd be if you told them you were fasting!! What's Santa Barbara like? It's so nice you've found a place you love! I'm still figuring out where I'd want to spend my life, I really like the look of Canada but that might be too hard visa-wise. Did you do everything on your to-do list? Lovely pictures, especially the one of you in the restaurant! It looks so cool!
milesaway - Welcome back!! I hope you will still post in this thread even if you are a 30-something now! That's so amazing that you have lost so much weight! I know you were having a hard time before you left but it's great to hear you're on the right track. I know weighing can be a dangerous game, a lot of fitness professionals hate it and I understand why, but to me it's purely a guide. I know I want to be below 150 lbs for sure, because then I have a healthy BMI. Never grow up, always remain a big kid . Job hunt is shite if I'm honest, I'm really focusing on office work but no one wants to hire me. My CV is pretty weird looking...retail...teaching...it doesn't show a lot of consistency and no office training. The worse is that I can't get job seekers because then I could have gotten on to a free College course to get a qualification for office work, but I have to wait until I've been back from abroad for 3 months. Even though I'm British!