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-   -   so much regain, so ashamed (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/290768-so-much-regain-so-ashamed.html)

coolacrity 12-19-2013 01:47 PM

so much regain, so ashamed
I have regained everything (almost) since June. Almost 100lbs. It was freakishly fast.

I used to be so proud of myself. Not only has the rapid, severe weight gain been crippling for my legs (walking around in the evening has become TORTURE), but the depression of just everything going so wrong has been awful. I haven't been able to do anything but work (and my job has been joyless crap this year--not only are the kids more challenging in themselves, but my energy is sapped by my weight).

I don't know what to do. I eat when I'm not hungry all the time. I KNOW I'm not hungry. I just can't/won't stop. Anyone else ever regained terribly like this?

JulesMarion 12-19-2013 02:53 PM

Yep - I gained back over 100 pounds. I lost 75 originally a few years ago, then naively thought that since I lost it I could go back to eating unhealthy and be fine. I'm now pregnant, so not trying to lose weight, but it has been the proper motivation to eat better.

Allow yourself to be disappointed, but all the shame does at this point is further you into depression. Own the weight, and take control. One day making good choices in food and exercise is better than another day of falling into temptation. And if you do, roll it off your back - we all make mistakes and sometimes around the holidays, a cookie is okay. Just know that one cookie/whatever your vice is, does not make for an entire failed day.

You can do this! You've done it before, and you've got support so stop shaming yourself, so many people have walked that road. I might take up swimming since its easier on the joints and your body overall, are there any activities like that you may be interested in? I know changing up routine (especially if your job is taxing) can be a great thing. :)

alaskanlaughter 12-19-2013 02:55 PM

you can do it! have you been to the doctor to rule out any other cause of such a rapid weight gain?

I know the feeling, though, of just eating and eating and unable to stop :(

coolacrity 12-20-2013 01:16 PM

Yeah, I've done it. And I will do it again. :)
Though it's funny. Loading up on some ibuprophen helped with the knees. I feel like exercising for once.

kailpea 12-20-2013 01:52 PM

I understand, completely. i joined 3FC a few years ago, and I was doing such a good job at losing weight, I was even nearing "Onederland" for the first time since I was about 13 or 14! And then I just kinda let things go. I stopped logging what I was eating, I stopped exercising (but lets face it I never did that much anyway) I went from a retail job where I was on my feet for 40 plus hours a week to a desk job, I started dating a guy and picked up some of his eating habits and now we're married and after all of that in the past year and a half, I'm 70 pounds heavier and the shame is overwhelming.

You're not alone. It's happened to a number of us. Hang in there. The fact that you're here again, posting about it and trying to get back on track is an accomplishment in itself. I sat around for months telling myself I needed to get back on track before I logged back on here. And like you said, you have done it before, you can do it again! =) Good luck!

coolacrity 12-20-2013 03:25 PM

Thank you, kailpea!

Riestrella 12-20-2013 04:50 PM

First of all - cast that shame away. It's not going to help you lose weight. Losing weight is the best thing you can do for your body because you love your body, it's the ultimate gift.

Second of all - tell us what you were doing to lose weight before. Calories, exercise plans, food plans - the works. I am sure we can help you determine what went wrong and how you can improve. There's always room for improvement, I've been tweaking my plans for years now and I'm still learning.

Third of all - YOU CAN FREAKIN DO IT! Believe in yourself! You sound so fed up with your situation so use it as a catalyst to begin a life where you can be proud once more and never give up!

SparklyBunny 12-20-2013 05:28 PM

I kind of said the same thing in the other thread already, but I suppose there's no harm in repeating :-)

I agree with the hotness that is Riestrella; cast the shame away. It's a pointless exercise if you just hold onto it. Everyone has done something that we later regret, but the only way out is to acknowledge that it happened, hopefully learn from it, and then move on. If we didn't learn our lesson, then we'll probably repeat the same mistake again. Then we try again and again until we get there :-)

It is also good to remember that your weight does not define you or your worth as a person. Neither do successes nor failures. I personally find people who've gone through trials and tribulations much more intriguing than those who never accept or show their fallible humanity.

Also, interestingly when you stop caring about the weight and start really caring about yourself (instead of telling yourself that you're wrong and need to be ashamed), you'll automagically begin to make choices that lead you to where you need to be. So, upwards and onwards!

kmaed 12-25-2013 06:08 PM

I have more than once gained that amount of weight in short periods of time, for various reasons, and I've got a body full of stretch marks to prove it!
Shame builds up in our minds and hearts and then we feel the need to 'swollow' it so we eat more, to numb the feelings, and food can be a drug just like any other drug!..I've been on that emotional eatting rollercoaster and I'm not perfect, but I'm soo much better than I used to be. You can change what you think it takes constant effort. Have you heard of a process called EFT? it look silly but it worked for me, to help me change that emotional garbage that just sabotages us.

I've come to believe if you change the mind the body will follow, but it's a big mountain to climb. Dont give up you can do this!

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