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Old 10-26-2013, 02:57 AM   #1
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Default Maybe I am just meant to be Obese

I cannot lose weight I have been trying for 15 years. I am miserable. I keep saying I am going to do this stuff when I lose weight, and here I am 27 with no goals really accomplished because I am hung up on losing weight before I do anything. I want to be healthy and fit, but my eating habits I cannot control. My brain has to have fattening and sweet foods. Everyday I go through this. I just do not see how I can lose weight. It is all in my head and if I do not eat bad foods, I get extremely depressed and miserable. Food is really the only thing I got. How sad is that. I mean I have my family and friends but mostly all I do is work and eat. Food is my wife and best friend, but i hate it, but I love it. I just would like to know how it feels to be comfortable in my own skin and confident with the way I look one day. Thanks for letting me vent.
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Old 10-26-2013, 06:02 PM   #2
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hey husky, it sounds to me like at the moment you need maybe a more holistic approach to your weight loss. It's not just about eating less and exercising more, its about increasing your quality of life. It sounds like you are waiting to lose weight before you do any other things you want to achieve, but because you aren't doing anything other than "work and eat", it's really hard to lose weight, so you never get to do the things you want to. That can be really depressing- what's your meaning in life?

Fattening and sweet foods certainly hook us really well- it's not just us being weak, our bodies really want that stuff, it's how we've survived as a species.

I would start by getting some kind of activity in outside of work. Doesn't have to be exercise/weight loss related- just something you enjoy. Is that possible?

Have you thought about getting help for your mood?
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Old 10-26-2013, 06:07 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by huskyfella View Post
I cannot lose weight I have been trying for 15 years. I am miserable. I keep saying I am going to do this stuff when I lose weight, and here I am 27 with no goals really accomplished because I am hung up on losing weight before I do anything. I want to be healthy and fit, but my eating habits I cannot control. My brain has to have fattening and sweet foods. Everyday I go through this. I just do not see how I can lose weight. It is all in my head and if I do not eat bad foods, I get extremely depressed and miserable. Food is really the only thing I got. How sad is that. I mean I have my family and friends but mostly all I do is work and eat. Food is my wife and best friend, but i hate it, but I love it. I just would like to know how it feels to be comfortable in my own skin and confident with the way I look one day. Thanks for letting me vent.
I'm not in my 20s but your post touched my heart.

I always thought once I was in the 300s that this was just going to be my life I was dealt and being heavy was just part of my "plan".

Then I started eating right and exercising. The rest is history. And now I crave healthy, nutritious foods. (I wont lie and say the "bad" food isn't good or enticing...but it's not good for my waistline or my blood work.)

Wearing smaller clothes and getting attention from the opposite sex (even though I'm married) pays off way more than any ice cream sundae or pizza.

My improved health is worth so much more than feeling I have to eat unhealthy to be happy. And seriously, I love my "new" healthy foods!!

Good luck.
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Old 10-27-2013, 07:13 PM   #4
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Great posts. I too understand how you all feel. At times I find myself not wanting to be seen in public or not wanting to take care of my appearance, because what's the point? This isn't a healthy mindset and likely contributes to more failure. I don't have much more to say, besides that you definitely aren't alone in this way of thinking.
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Old 10-28-2013, 12:36 AM   #5
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All the other posts are right-on. I'd like to add if I may that although I'm definitely not the authority on losing weight, that I know from my personal experience that trying hundreds of diets would not guarantee weight loss, but a different lifestyle might. For me, that happened when I became a vegetarian.

I don't think being vegetarian was the "cure-all" but it made me more conscious of what I was putting into my body, which spurred (although I didn't realize it at the time), a whole lifestyle change.

The posts above definitely emphasize a lifestyle change, starting from finding a counselor or therapist you can talk to (since you mentioned you were feeling miserable, which makes me sad - so sorry to hear it!!) and other methods that help you gain back control over your eating habits, such as by letting you experience life again and not put your life on hold because of how you feel about your weight

I wish all the best to you on your journey <3 You look like a new member - stick around because this forum is a family; it really is
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Old 10-28-2013, 02:06 AM   #6
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Hi huskyfella!

I've been where you are (am still where you are, really) - I've been overweight since I was a kid, and 15 years in the future...I'm still overweight. I've tried oh so many times to lose weight and had some small successes followed by some impressive failures! At times, I let those failures weigh me down further. That's...not a good thing. We get enough flack from other people (friends, family, whoever) for being overweight without dragging ourselves down too, yeah? Understanding that and acting on it are different things, obviously, and I can't say that I never ever get down, but seizing the opportunities that life offers as they come is one of the big ways that I'm able to bring myself up again. If you're so far down you don't feel like you can start to climb out, I'll echo the others here who have mentioned trying out a counselor.

As for losing weight: there's no plan that works for everyone. If there were, well, this forum would be obsolete. There's no knowing what will work for you, except to jump in and try it. And if it doesn't work, then try something else! I've been a vegetarian, and on Weight Watchers, and counted calories eaten and exercised away, and every one of those attempts has informed me - what works for me, what doesn't - and has moved me towards something that ultimately will work.

I hope some part of this has been helpful to you. Good luck and hope to see you around the forums!
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Old 10-30-2013, 04:43 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Hamoco350 View Post
I feel weird giving you any advice because I am going through exactly the same situation. Honestly - besides the work part and age, I could have written this myself. I'm 299 pounds, binging daily, isolating myself as much as possible, addicted to food, and putting my entire life on hold to lose weight - even though I'm not really trying to lose it.
This was an amazing post, I saved it and showed my friend who is going through exactly the same thing. He wouldn't try to lose weight the slow and steady way, instead going on crash diets that would never work. He doesn't want to go out with me, take pictures with me or anything and I'm bigger than him! Thank you for this post, I believe you have truly motivated him to stop putting his life on hold!
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Old 11-08-2013, 10:09 AM   #8
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Hamoco350, that was a seriously life-affirming post. I hope your journey goes well and you keep inspiring yourself and others!

To OP: none of us would be here if we didn't have days of doubt, confusion and even regression into old habits. But everyone's right that you deserve a good life even before you've lost weight. You sound like a good, hardworking person, and that's worth a lot! I'm sure that with the support of the great people on 3FC, some mental work of your own, and finding a plan that works for you, you'll one day be enjoying your life and your body.
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