A vent/rant? I don't know. I'm upset

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  • No, you're not wrong to be hurt by what he did. You were together a long time, you were engaged and when you were trying to keep the peace he lied and blew you off. I'd be annoyed if I found out ANYONE had lied about being sick to meet someone else - be honest, people!!

    As for him moving on...well...people are complicated. Some people need something to focus on immediately so they don't have to deal with the crushing blow that is a serious break up. Other people will sink into a hole straight off the bat and not come out for a while. So while I understand it's upsetting I wouldn't take it personally or a reflection on what your relationship meant to him. He's hurting, I'm sure of it.

    Lastly, I think your friend gave you awful advice in convincing you to keep in contact. I'm sorry, no offence to your friend, but no no NO! I just don't think you can be friends after a break up, not after all that's happened. If I broke up with my boyfriend, despite him being my best friend, I couldn't be friends with him ever again. It would be too weird and it wouldn't even BE a normal friendship. It would probably be me monitoring how he's doing after our relationship, which shouldn't be the basis of a friendship period.

    So all in all, you did dodge a bullet and keep your distance! You moved on and you decided he wasn't for you so you don't need to go back to that world. You've started a new chapter in your life and you should start it with a fresh clear page.

    *hugs* I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you guys but I'm so PROUD that you walked away knowing that it wasn't right. That takes some serious guts, some people just walk into engagements and marriages without realising what they're getting into and regretting it.
  • Hugs

    I think you definitely dodged a bullet! He's very immature and definitely not the "one."

    Enjoy being single and I hope you find someone new who is worthy of you!
  • Enjoy being single!! It really is the way to go!
    I'm sorry you're having to go through this, I know it hurts but I'm glad that you found this out about him before it was too late! You have every right to be upset but just stay strong and let him go!
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  • Quote: Silver lining to all this! I'm using the money I slaved away saving up for our wedding (which, by the way he only had a COUPLE HUNDRED BUCKS while I had...a **** of a lot more) to pay off my loans! Debt free living, here I come
    THIS is awesome! You go girl!
  • I'm sorry, that's really hurtful, and to reiterate what others said, yeah its better you got out when you did. But that's awesome that you'll be debt free and can pay off your students loans
  • I agree, regardless of the circumstance you were definitely owed a face-to-face conversation. Also, I want to give you the biggest high five ever, especially after reading the Twilight Princess line!
  • So glad you've got some money towards loans, but I reiterate. If he's immature, go find you a mature guy and don't worry about his @ss. I stayed with a guy two years too long that was physically abusive to me and I later found out had screwed around on me... a lot. :P Now I've got a guy who loves me and has been my biggest supporter in my weight loss. I'm sure something equally awesome will come your way.
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  • Of course he should have given you a face-to-face after 5 years. But, alas, that is probably one of the reasons you moved on right? He is immature.

    All I can say is, look up into the sky and smile and say a big THANK YOU to the universe for giving you this gift of knowing 100% that you should move on.
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  • This was an interesting thread, and I realize over a week has passed, but I still thought I'd comment.

    I guess I'm in the minority for feeling, well you dumped him. You said he was immature. You said he didn't make enough money. He probably had time to think about it, found someone else and decided he just didn't want to be friends. Maybe it was just too difficult for him after all.

    YOU dumped HIM. I say this kindly but with honesty: You probably wanted to have your cake and eat it too, being empowered to dump him then empowering yourself to tell him you want to be friends only. He owes you nothing.

    Time will pass, and you'll find a great guy!
  • *huge hugs* I'm sorry you had to go through that, you had every right to be upset, I would be too if my bf moved on that quickly. Best wishes and I hope when you are ready you find a great guy