I've been a part of this forum for a very long time, and I've come back on and off, on and off, and I've never really stuck. I imagine some of the users may think I'm a joke for that.
My dad passed away in May. I can't go into any details other than it was sudden, unexpected, and we still don't know the cause, and we may never know. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to my mom and I. Life is getting so hard. Just functioning daily is becoming so difficult to us. We were the closest family that I'd ever seen. I don't think that's because it was my family, but the lengths we'd go to help each other, and make each other happy, is something I haven't seen anywhere else. My dad was the backbone of our family, and we don't know how we're gonna get through this. We're gonna have to be moving, and it's just too much. The three of us were going to have to be moving, but now it's just overwhelming. We have the help of my fiancee, but he can only be here on certain weekends, and we can only do so much.
For the past several weeks, I've been in bed for the most part, I've gained weight, my aches and pains are getting worse, and worse, and I'm slipping into a depression far worse than I've ever experienced.
My dad always encouraged me, and though I haven't been successful yet, he always told me that he knew that one day I would be at my goal size. One day I would be as healthy and happy as I could be. Even more so though, he never neglected to tell me how beautiful I was, and that he loved me just the way that I am.
I need to find a way to make the changes I need to make. I need to do it for myself, and for my dad. I know that's what he would want for me. I need to do it for my mom, and my fiancee as well.
Getting out of bed is near impossible. I do have the support of my mom, but we both can only give so much right now, as both our worlds are in turmoil. I'm trying to be strong for her, but there's only so much I can force. So I need as much help and support that I can get.
I've been told that I shouldn't be stressing about calories, and working out right now, because there are other things I need to focus on, but I need to do something.