Hello all - I've been a lurker for most of my time here, but something has happened that I thought I'd ask for other views on.
So, as likely prevalent by the title, I'm 27, and I've recently broken up with my boyfriend of 2 years. Things haven't been the best for a while, and he instgated the split, but I'd like to think it didn't catch me too off-guard and at the end it really was a mutual decision. Now, we've been living together, and just re-sign our lease for another year at the end of April. We're still friends, and neither of us could really afford right now to live on our own, anyways, so we've decided to treat this as adults, and remain roommates for the remainder of our term.
This is where the cause for my thread comes in. I've been on my journey since about November of last year. Between then and about the middle of March (our birthday - we have the same one, two years apart, with he the younger), I left behind the first 25 lbs. From about then on, I've stayed about the same - fluctuating in a 5 lb bracket between 240 & 245. Within the past month or so, the bracket shifted to between 237 & 242.
We broke up one week ago. I remember weighing in that morning at about 239. This morning, I'm at 229. Mentally, I've accepted our split, and am okay with it.
I did, however, lose most of my appetite instantly thereafter, with no longer any attraction to food. I get hungry, yes, but I eat very little in response. I get bored with the action of eating, even. It's... scary, to say the least. I'm pretty sure I've been barely making even minimum calories, and I know that if this keeps up, my body will go into starvation mode. If it hasn't already, that is. As much as this sudden drop concerns me, I seem to have an irrational fear that if I do begin to eat properly again, it's just going to come right back, because biology is awesome that way.
This is the first real movement I've seen on the scale in months, despite my honest efforts to continue losing during that time. Part of me wants to hold onto what has been lost, while another part of me is rather concerned. I am still trying to eat as healthy as I can, and I acknowledge that what has been happening is not healthy in the short nor long term. Have I somehow turned the grief of my breakup into an eating disorder, despite the fact that I feel come to terms with it?
If you've managed to stay with me this long with my post, I thank you.
Don't worry about it so much. I've had similar periods during stressful times and my body recovered just fine. Try to keep fluids in you and eat when you feel you can. You won't go into starvation mode overnight and your appetite will return. This isn't an eating disorder; you don't develop those overnight either. Someone with Anorexia purposely does not eat; someone with Bulimia purposely throws up. You are simply stressed and it's impacting your ability to eat right now.
I'd say I've been in starvation mode once before, when I was 15. I was severely depressed and not eating intentionally. The point at which I had officially hit starvation mode, at least in my mind, was when my period failed to start like normal. That was after months of not getting enough rest and purposely eating almost no food.
I don't think you'll experience much weigh gain if you add 100 calories in a day. Just add them in as fruit or veggies. Do it until you get back up to your normal number and you should be fine.
The same thing happened to me when I went through a break up. My appetite came back after about a week. Don't worry about the "weight coming back", because you didn't really lose weight. Or rather, that's all water weight. The scale will most likely go back to what you were before, but keep in mind you did not lose 10lbs of fat in 7 days, so you're not gaining back 10lbs of fat. If your appetite doesn't come back I might worry, but it's a pretty common thing to lose your appetite after something like this, so don't worry too much about it. Good luck & sorry about your break up.
I'm with musicalastronaut - the same thing happened to me. I lost around 8 pounds in a week after a stressful breakup. My appetite disappeared completely. I selfishly thought I might be cured of all my food cravings!
Once my appetite came back (and trust me, it will), most of the weight came back on, which makes me think most of the loss was water, plus a lack of foodstuff in my body. If I were you, I would focus more on eating right, maybe take your measurements, and stay off the scale for a little while so you don't get discouraged if the number jumps up once you start eating again.
After my break up was a great time for me to really focus on self-improvement, since I no longer needed to worry about anybody but myself. The better I ate, the more I exercised, the better I felt. If I started eating poorly I noticed I'd start to feel sorry for myself and mourn the relationship, even though I knew it wasn't right for me. Sounds like your relationship is similar.
I went through a break-up after I lost about 25 pounds. I also had a time of no appetite, and the only thing it did was shrink my stomach enough for me to feel full with smaller sizes of portions. That, to me, was a good thing. I went on and lost nearly 75 more pounds since then.
I agree with tofulover, after a break-up is a great time to focus on yourself and develop new habits of a single person.
Best of luck to you, and don't worry too much about your food intake right now. Take care of yourself and focus on YOU. Have fun, pamper yourself and live life
I think a breakup is a good time to figure out things about yourself, hang out with some friends, etc.
I know what you're going through. I just broke up with my fiance. We were together for five years.
My appetite is off too, but I've been forcing myself to eat because, dangit, I want my workouts to be spot on right now. I know from experience that my lifts are bad when I don't eat all that much.
I had been stressing over this for a while now, and I think some of the weight I thought I gained was me holding onto water. With the breakup over I wooshed down to 116 this morning.
My dear, go out and try on some new clothes, or get something for yourself that you've wanted for a while - like a haircut or a manicure - that you don't usually indulge in, but will make you feel sexy. The weight that came off matters less than you how feel about it coming off. If you lose 10 pounds and feel like a bag of dirt, what's the point anyway? If it comes back, you're less inclined to be disheartened about it as well! What you need after any end to a personal relationship - whether it's amicable or not - is an emotional pick-me -up and a good ol' fashioned esteem booster. Treat yourself, and stop worrying about the scale for a while. Weight loss is a journey, not a race!
Thanks for posting, flea. Something about your post was a lightbulb for me: how you feel about the weight coming off is what matters. It is kind of like keeping momentum, too.
I agree with the comments above. Go out girl and have fun. When i was brokenhearted i pampered myself for 1 whole day. I shopped till my credit card maxed-out, wen to a salon and put some color on my hair and lastly i had a nice body massage that really helped me felt better about myself.
Ditto. Broke up with my bf of 2 yrs also. Lost 12lbs in a month. I would literally go 3 days without eating at a time and not even a hunger pain. Your mind is going in a million directions. Anxiety from ****! On the plus side I looked the best I ever did and got a new bf 2 months later and a year and half later were doing great!...and I'm back up 30lbs!..yeayyy....eh lol
Thanks for the input, everyone. I'm sorry to hear I'm not the only one who's been through it recently.
It's been almost two weeks since my first post - the appetite is back, although, I agree, Hyacinth, I'm finding I can eat smaller portions and be fine. Still holding at 228-229, which is interesting.
This seemed to be a weight milestone that produced some noticeable physical effects, and I'm loving it. I feel better about myself now than I have in years. I'm getting back into painting and art in general (I trained as an illustrator but burned out so badly after school that I haven't done it for fun since), and it's nice to just focus on my own goals for once.
An old flame seems to have come out of the woodwork, too, which is hilarious. Both he an I are mutually single for the first time in 6 years, and don't think we ever truly got over each other from our last relationship, another where we were young and stupid and ended mutually. Sounds like we'll be starting over again as friends and seeing where things go from there. Could be a complete train wreck waiting to happen, or perhaps not. All a part of life's journey, right? Haha!
In the mean time, hopefully the confidence continues to go up, and the scale, in its own good time, continues to go down.
Thank you again, everyone. Cheers, and best of luck on your own journeys.
Last edited by LaughingLagomorph; 07-03-2013 at 12:17 AM.
Glad things are going better for you lagomorph. I hope things work out for you and you get to find out some awesome things about yourself. Best of luck!
Breakups and Weight Loss
