There are probably older posts about this, but I thought I'd just get some stuff off my chest. If anyone has time to read this or offer some kind, motivating words, I would really appreciate it
In my group of girl friends, I am the "fat" one.
I put fat in quotations because rationally I know that I am not even close to being obese at 127 lbs and 5'3. But it's tough to know that the 3 or 4 girls that I hang out with most are about my height, give or take an inch or two and 100-110 pounds. In pictures, I look like some massive whale next to them and my head and face are huge. I haven't been close to 115 in the last few years. I suppose it might be going against genetics to try to get down to around 115 or 110 seeing as my parents aren't twigs, but being a short girl, every 5lbs tends to show very very easily.
Sometimes when my friends would come to see me, they'd look in my closet and pull out a cute dress or something else that I had bought as motivation for weight loss and ask why I hadn't worn it yet. But I'm too embarrassed to say that it's because I can't fit it, so I'll make up an excuse like "oh, I just haven't had a chance or place to wear it yet."
I don't know why, but I feel like I can never be honest with skinnier girls and say that I'm on a diet or that I exercise because I want to be thin, not because I am trying to be "healthy". I don't think they'd really understand or encourage me. In my mind, I can just see them saying, "What? You're fine as you are. Let's go eat ice cream/burgers/[insert fatty food]," or something similar. I've always been proud of my running endurance and strength; I might not look it, but I am more fit than my friends. I just wonder if I'll ever have a healthy relationship with food, exercise, and weight...
I've been trying to lose weight for awhile. Last summer, I managed to get myself down to 122 but I gained it back over the winter
and now I'm back to square one.
Last time, I lost weight by basically eating salad all the time, counting calories like a madwoman, and tons of cardio (I would sometimes run twice a day). This time around, I know it's unreasonable to go crazy while trying to lose weight, so I'm trying to incorporate weight training into my exercise regimen along with a little cardio (like 3-4 miles, 4 days a week at least). I haven't lost much weight since May but I'm feeling stronger and slightly more toned than before.
Anyways, I'm trying to convince myself that this is a lifestyle change, not a one-time thing and that I need to keep sight of my goal. Since May, I've cut out a lot of carbs from rice and breads, eaten less red meat and sugar, doubled my veggies, and stopped regularly snacking. I have terrible cravings and feel frustrated when I don't see the scale move down. But I know that strength training sometimes makes you gain a little so I measure my waist too.
Weight loss is going to be a tough battle for the summer, but I'm going for it. If I can make it down to 115 by the end of August, I'll be ecstatic.
Good luck to everyone else too!
Believe me, I completely understand how hard it is to lose weight. This time I'm getting my friends and family more involved so hopefully we can all trim up a bit together.