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Being the "fat" one in a group of friends. Lend an ear?

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Old 06-16-2013, 02:53 PM   #1
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Default Being the "fat" one in a group of friends. Lend an ear?

There are probably older posts about this, but I thought I'd just get some stuff off my chest. If anyone has time to read this or offer some kind, motivating words, I would really appreciate it

In my group of girl friends, I am the "fat" one.

I put fat in quotations because rationally I know that I am not even close to being obese at 127 lbs and 5'3. But it's tough to know that the 3 or 4 girls that I hang out with most are about my height, give or take an inch or two and 100-110 pounds. In pictures, I look like some massive whale next to them and my head and face are huge. I haven't been close to 115 in the last few years. I suppose it might be going against genetics to try to get down to around 115 or 110 seeing as my parents aren't twigs, but being a short girl, every 5lbs tends to show very very easily.

Sometimes when my friends would come to see me, they'd look in my closet and pull out a cute dress or something else that I had bought as motivation for weight loss and ask why I hadn't worn it yet. But I'm too embarrassed to say that it's because I can't fit it, so I'll make up an excuse like "oh, I just haven't had a chance or place to wear it yet."

I don't know why, but I feel like I can never be honest with skinnier girls and say that I'm on a diet or that I exercise because I want to be thin, not because I am trying to be "healthy". I don't think they'd really understand or encourage me. In my mind, I can just see them saying, "What? You're fine as you are. Let's go eat ice cream/burgers/[insert fatty food]," or something similar. I've always been proud of my running endurance and strength; I might not look it, but I am more fit than my friends. I just wonder if I'll ever have a healthy relationship with food, exercise, and weight...

I've been trying to lose weight for awhile. Last summer, I managed to get myself down to 122 but I gained it back over the winter and now I'm back to square one.

Last time, I lost weight by basically eating salad all the time, counting calories like a madwoman, and tons of cardio (I would sometimes run twice a day). This time around, I know it's unreasonable to go crazy while trying to lose weight, so I'm trying to incorporate weight training into my exercise regimen along with a little cardio (like 3-4 miles, 4 days a week at least). I haven't lost much weight since May but I'm feeling stronger and slightly more toned than before.

Anyways, I'm trying to convince myself that this is a lifestyle change, not a one-time thing and that I need to keep sight of my goal. Since May, I've cut out a lot of carbs from rice and breads, eaten less red meat and sugar, doubled my veggies, and stopped regularly snacking. I have terrible cravings and feel frustrated when I don't see the scale move down. But I know that strength training sometimes makes you gain a little so I measure my waist too.

Weight loss is going to be a tough battle for the summer, but I'm going for it. If I can make it down to 115 by the end of August, I'll be ecstatic.

Good luck to everyone else too! Believe me, I completely understand how hard it is to lose weight. This time I'm getting my friends and family more involved so hopefully we can all trim up a bit together.
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Old 06-17-2013, 02:40 PM   #2
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Welcome! It sounds like you have a great plan in place! Try to keep in mind that the closer to goal you are the slower it tends to go, but if you keep at it it has to come off eventually! Weight training is a great way to go about things at the lower weights, you may not see the lbs coming off the scale quickly, or even at all but it can change your body shape soooo much. I knew a woman that did weight training 3 days a week for a year and stayed at 150 the whole time but was very saggy at the beginning and very tight and shapely at the end, went from like a size 12 to a size 6 or something. It was fairly shocking that she was the same weight the whole time.

My point behind the rambling is, don't focus so much on the number on the scale. Take measurements of not just your waist but of your arms and legs and hips and whatnot as well.

Also, make sure you are getting enough protein if you are doing this method because your body will need it for your muscles to repair and whatnot.

Good luck!!!
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Old 06-17-2013, 04:28 PM   #3
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Welcome!

As a fellow shorty, I know all too well the difference that 5-10 pounds can make. Good luck!
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Old 06-17-2013, 09:11 PM   #4
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127 pounds at 5'3? Girl, you're just right!

Honestly, I think you're letting it get to you too much. We're all different shapes and sizes, and we're not all meant to be twigs. I'm definitely not. Why not take up a hobby or activity that you love to do that's active?

Also, why not discuss this with your friends? You might be surprised at what they think.
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Old 06-18-2013, 11:19 AM   #5
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Thanks everyone I really appreciate the responses!

While I was rereading my post, I realized that I was just feeling frustrated because I wasn't seeing a lot of results yet. But that makes sense because I'm already at a healthy weight so I have to try a little harder. I definitely have a tendency to overthink things and take diet and weight loss regimens to an extreme.

I think I'll focus on getting stronger and more toned. I have a small stomach pouch that I'd like to address, but I've always wanted to be more athletic and have less arm and leg jiggle.

Being a twig isn't necessarily healthy and I shouldn't compare myself to my friends since we're all different shapes and sizes. Sometimes I feel like being on a stricter diet and exercise plan is selfish because it's always like, I can't eat this, this, or this and I have to go to the gym/go run rather than do other activities, so I'm hoping this time around, I can encourage my parents to adopt a healthier lifestyle too and include them.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:29 AM   #6
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Toning sounds like the right answer. May I recommend 30 Day Shred? It's kicking my butt on a daily basis and Jillian is known for her results
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