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Old 02-02-2013, 02:59 AM   #16
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I'll come back and do personals in the morning, but I have a confession to make!

After ending my day well, with 1090 calories, I effed it up. Big time. I had three slices of bread with olive oil (think Carrabbas style), a popsicle, and 2 pieces of toast with Nutella. So 5 slices of bread is 400 and the oil was... say 100, the popsicle was 35 and I don't even know how much Nutella I used since it was the last of the jar, but lets just say it was 2 tbsp, which is 200 calories.

New total: 1825

I kinda feel sick now. I don't even know why I did it. I was kind of hungry, but nothing really sounded good except salt. So I added olive oil and oregano to it and decided to dip bread in it. And then the popsicle. And then the toast and Nutella, because I already was pissed at myself and heck, I've already screwed up the night, why not really go for it?

Sometimes I don't know if I eat because I'm hungry or because I'm lonely. Sometimes hungry feels like "not hungry" and "not hungry" feels like lonely, and then lonely sometimes feels like hungry.

Not being able to sleep probably isn't helping, but my sleeping pills aren't working anymore, since I started taking the new medication.

Sorry for venting! Hopefully tomorrow/today/Saturday will be better.
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Old 02-02-2013, 03:24 AM   #17
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Peachflesh: A pre-birthday half marathon sounds like a fantastic way to celebrate 30. You should do it!

Beahawkins: I totally get you on the winter thing. In fact, I’ve been cringing when I’ve been reading about all the cold weather you ladies have been experiencing. Sunshine definitely makes it so much easier to be happy!

KawaiiCandie: That’s so cool you’re in Japan!! I’ve always wanted to go there, and especially now that I’ve been living in Asia for a while. What are you doing over there? I’m currently living in Thailand, and I love it! A few months ago, I was absolutely not ready to go home, but I’m starting to get excited about “what’s next” and I think that means being back with my friends and family for a little. That being said, I really hope I’ll be back here someday. It truly is a second home! ☺

Penmage: Ugh, I totally feel you. I had a similar day yesterday. I was doing SO GOOD, until a huge snack attack came out of no where right before bed. REALLY?! 1825 isn’t the end of the world, and tomorrow’s a new day. Feel better!!
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Old 02-02-2013, 04:23 AM   #18
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Penmage: Just pick yourself up and keep going. If you got to 1825 calories, that's probably about maintenance. Don't sweat it too much.

graciegoose: Thailand sounds fun...I wish I could visit more of Asia while I'm on this side of the world, but my time in Japan was awful this time around and I'm in a rush to get home and get hugs >.< I get a night in Shanghai on the flight back, but it would have been nice to see some of mainland Asia. If I magically become a millionaire, travel's at the top of my list of things to do...
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Old 02-02-2013, 09:12 AM   #19
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lisa: thanks for the welcome! good for you being such a slave to your workouts. thatís fantastic, and i for one will forgive you if youíre not around so much as a result hoping to get to that point myself...

bea: yay for a good weigh in, and yay for gym friends! motivation, right there!

kawaii: haha, i laughed out loud at you and your bf's Les Mis differences. Idk if that was supposed to be funny glad you liked it. congrats on the loss, despite the cheat day!! so exciting! and even w sore thighs! quite encouraging, Iíd say

hotaru: nothing like seeing someone soon for motivation! get it girl

penmage: that f-ing sucks. iím sorry you can sort of look at it as cycling calories, and add all cals up for the week, then divide by 7 days, for a daily avg. then it wonít seem so bad. sometimes we slip up. it sucks and we feel dumb, and we get angry, but it happens. big hug, shake it off, and back on track today.

gracie: thanks i think itís a good idea, and doable!

~~~~~~

thanks for all the turning-30 support! iím sort of welcoming it. Iíve been overweight for ALL of my 20s. I want my 30s to be healthier.

Iíve committed to 35 miles for the month of feb. half marathon, here I come!

have a good sat, ladies!
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Old 02-02-2013, 09:52 PM   #20
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hotaru: you can do it! there is no way in **** that you have less space in your house than i do (i live in a shoebox), so as long as you have enough space for a yoga mat, you'll be fine. the only moves that are a bit iffy are the walking push ups (but only level 3) and the chest flies, but you can adapt stuff. do it!!!

penmage: oh hun... don't beat yourself up! though i dunno what kind of bread you're using, but 5 slices should be way more than 400 calories... :/ but i understand. binges are never about hunger. they're irrational, and if you have the urge to binge, you will binge literally on whatever's around. the most important thing is just to say "ok, that's done. now let's move on". if you dwell on it and keep feeling bad, it's just gonna make you wanna eat again. it's in the past now, you move on, you be good today and it'll be alright. hang in there

gracie: Thailand's cool too! what have you been doing there? Japan's definitely a cool place to visit. you should come! I teach English here, and i've been living here for almost 5 years now... god! lol. i don't wanna leave though

peach: yeah! i know it's weird... a part of it is cultural, cuz japanese and north-american cultures are sooo different, but part of him is just him being the most unemotional idiot ever. lol. for some reason, he really loves super dramatic movies, but he's just looking them over with his super rational eye. lol. I've also been overweight for all of my 20's... and when i turned 30, i was really depressed about it. i tried to lose weight the year before to be "130 at 30" but i failed nevermind though, it's no good to wallow in the past! we're doing this now!


morning girls! today is a lazy day for me well, i do plan on doing the No More Trouble Zones DVD again though, so maybe not so lazy. i gave myself a break yesterday and went to the gym instead. (yes, going to the gym is "softer" than facing that dvd again, haha!) and my thighs are a bit better so should be ok. other than that, my most exciting plan today is... laundry!!! I got this big giant bag and i literally have no excuse now cuz i've run out of socks, and soon will be undies, so... lol. i have a million clothes so i can literally go a month without doing laundry, but now i have no choice!

in other news, scale was a little bit down again this morning! i dunno if it's just because i removed my hair extentions yesterday or not, but i'll take it!

happy sunday!
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Old 02-02-2013, 10:26 PM   #21
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Hi all!
I'm with you there Penmage, I've had a bit of binge tonight. But it's ok!!

Gracie: So jw, does the PA under your location refer to the states?

Hotaruchan: That's exciting that you get to see your bf! I've wanted to look into 30DS but it sounds very intimidating.

Peachflesh: That 35 miles for Februrary sounds like a good goal! I might have to make the same goal!!

Kawaii: So Les Mis was great? I saw the musical in highschool when it was touring. Oh my wow, it was powerful.

------------------------------------------------------------

Well, I want to say so much for today and be depressed about my binge, but I'm not all that down about it.
I am hanging out with my mom's best friend's dog, Brutus, tonight. So, technically dog sitting? But anyways, I got to her house and I was starving and she said anything in the fridge is cool and I'm like ****. man. She bought food specifically for her nephew who is in hs and eats junk food because I was backup sitter. So, I made a delicious salad but then I wanted some cinnamon rolls and then pizza rolls and then chips and queso. Thank god the chips are the kind with a hint of lime. so I tasted them and decided it was a no go.

My boyfriend was hanging out for a little while but he is back at his place puking. So, here's hoping it's food poisoning and I don't get another stomach bug!

Ok, I just want to apologize for the random a.d.d.-ness of my posts. : ) Have a good tomorrow everyone!!
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Old 02-03-2013, 03:44 AM   #22
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peachflesh: Good luck with your running! I've been trying to convince myself to start, but every time I do, something goes wrong (extended bad weather, badly hurt wrist and knee, etc...). Eventually...maybe it'll help when I move in with my boyfriend...he has to run for PT between duty weekends, and I run best when I have something to chase

Kawaii: I live in a Leopalace with built in furniture, unfortunately. That means that I have exactly the space of my yoga mat from my bed to the opposite wall and a table built into the wall hemming me in on one side and a closet on the other. Ugh. I have plenty of space for level 1, but last time I tried I was literally crashing into the wall trying to get through level 2, so I ended up just giving up and doing pushups and riding my bike. Stupid long legs...On the plus side, this weekend was really warm, so maybe I'll be able to make it back out to the gym...fingers crossed. I was going to do laundry today (jeebus, do I hate doing laundry in Japan), but then I got side tracked correcting scripts for my 6th graders then drawing a comic...then trying to color it on my computer and failing miserably...really I've accomplished close to nothing today >.< And I REALLY miss my dryer...

bea: Yay dogsitting! I miss puppies <3 I end up going imgur and squealing at pictures of dogs all day, then sending links to my bf and demanding that we get one when we get our apartment (not that he has any objection, but I'm a crazy dog lady). What kind of dog is Brutus? I hope your stomach keeps cooperating...bugs are always nasty.

...Like I already said, I accomplished nothing today. I feel like a slug. I was going to go to a Setsubun festival, but the wind kept me up last night and I slept late enough that it wouldn't be worth the hour's train ride to get there before it ended. Not a huge loss since I think most Setsubun-related activities involve eating and throwing soy products and my thyroid and soy aren't on speaking terms, but it sucks that the result of not going was not actually getting my butt in gear all day. Time to make dinner then get some exercise in, I suppose...
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Old 02-03-2013, 09:58 AM   #23
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kawaii: woohoo scale is down! haha even if itís from the hair extensions lol. if you keep losing like this i may have to rethink my dislike of jillian. if you donít mind my asking, where are you originally from? and what are you doing in japan? Iím so fascinated, what an experience to live in another country/culture!

bea: oh man, temptation staring you in the face! i canít day I would have done any better. And at least you said no to chips and queso! ya, def jump in on the 35 miles, i think itís a very doable goal. hope your bf is feeling better, and def hope you donít get whatever he had!

hotaru: walking is as good as running! and walking the mileage would at least get your body used to going as you work up to running. ease into it and you will avoid injury. and then you can chase, and maybe catch the bf, which is always fun

happy superbowl sunday, all! anyone have fun plans? hubs and I have a party to go to, which will be rife w salty and delectable junk food (weakness) and tons of beer (weakness). i am sort of dragging my heels about going, would rather skip it entirely... weíll see if i can convince hub to be anti-social. i always feel weird going to group events and not indulging, if someone notices that iím not indulging. like, i donít want anyone to realize iím actively trying to avoid eating junk. iíd rather have a tiny bit and not have to field any questions or see any quizzical eyeballs. anyone else?

i skipped my mileage yesterday. no good excuse, i just did. So iím doubling up today. plus stretching bc i am tiiight. and i plan to pick up some batteries for my scale... time to bite the bullet and check out the damage iíve done.
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Old 02-03-2013, 03:37 PM   #24
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Peachflesh: Well I haven't gotten sick, yet. I think I am in the clear though. I don't plan to go anywhere tonight. I have a quiz due by 6pm and I haven't looked over the material. I've never enjoyed superbowl parties and they always end up being junkfood fests, which I love/hate.

Hotaruchan: Brutus is a 15 pound chiuaua/ jack russel mix who has anxiety/ attachment issues. But he's 1000% better than the last time we hung out. On average he would want to be let out every 2 hours and the entire 15 hours I was there heonly went out 4 times. So, he did awesome!

--------------------------------------
I want to go workout today, but my gym is 30-45 mins away and I am tired and have a quiz tonight, so I may take the night off.

Oh! So, yesterday at the gym, I ran into someone I haven't seen since I started losing. And she was like oh, how much have you lost? I was like about 35. and She was like, well your face looks really good, it's really thinned out, don't worry you'll start to see the rest. And I was like uhh...

And then I remembered why I don't hang out with that group of friends anymore. I hate it, but I think her comment kind of led to my binge last night. It made me feel, well, I guess nobody else can notice so it doesn't really matter. And I hate that that's the way it ended up. I have done great! I have lost 35% of the weight I want to lose! That's a pretty big chunk. Just because some chick ugh. It just makes me mad. I can see a difference. I think everything would be fine if people would not say dumb things, cause I know that she didn't really mean to hurt me, the girl is just crazy low on understanding social situations. She is always saying things without thinking things through. Sigh.
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Old 02-03-2013, 08:20 PM   #25
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bea: i also saw the musical in high school! on broadway! i could barely understand english properly back then but i was still very moved! yeah, the movie was good! sorry to hear about your binge but not dwelling on it is the way to go! i really hope you're not gonna get sick again... and don't worry about that stupid girl! she probably thought she was being nice, but some people are just like that... you HAVE done great and you should be proud of your accomplishments! good job!

hotaru: is leopalace a thing? never heard of it... but yeah, you should just go for it and adapt the moves as you can. i go to a coin-laundry to do my laundry now cuz my washer refuses to work in the cold! :/ but it has driers!!! my socks are all nice for the first time ever... lol. i didn't know it was setsubun until i saw everyone posting food pics on fb... those giant maki things are sooo yum though! i want one... T_T but i'll pass

peach: you know i saw something on another thread yesterday about Jillian that made me think "oh yeah!"... the person was saying they liked her because she didn't sound "peppy" and she was encouraging. that's definitely true. and i do like her encouragement and kinda feel like she's talking to "me". haha. I'm originally from Montreal, Canada. I've studied TESL in university and came here right after and i've been here 4 1/2 years! I originally came to Japan on an extended trip in 2008 when my then-boyfriend was a Japanese international student whose visa expired. stayed here for 3 months and just fell in love with the place, i knew i had to come back!! oh, i was watching some older episodes of the Biggest Loser the other day and they were saying about those Superbowl parties that you should just bring your own food! like make some healthy versions of stuff to be shared, and bring it and then you can just eat that and not feel guilty!

you GUYS!!! omg... so i stepped on the scale this morning and it said 77.4!!!!!! then I was like "that can't be right..." so i stepped on it again a few times, but that's what it said! that's like 170.3lbs and that's a whole kilo down from yesterday... wtf?!?! i think it's cuz i ate very little yesterday, and then when i went to bed i was hungry but i didn't eat anything so i must've been really "empty" when i weighed in? lol. anyways, i'm not gonna move my ticker until i see it again tomorrow just to be sure.... but it does boggle the mind! what the heck?!

today i'm not working and i'm gonna have lunch with a friend. gonna try to do Jillian's "Banish Fat Boost Metabolism" video, which i found on youtube. apparently it's like the cardio version of "No More Trouble Zones"... i guess they are meant to be done together? we'll see how that goes...

UDATE: oh god, i just did the video... it's worst than NMTZ... my hair is all wet and i was crying by circuit 2... aaaahh... i hate cardio... is it just me? doing strength training is MUCH easier than cardio for me... i just have no breath...
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Old 02-04-2013, 05:19 AM   #26
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peachflesh: I haven't been able to keep up with football at all since being in Japan...I honestly didn't even know who was in it until all of the bandwagon-y people started declaring victory/b***hing on facebook. And I guess there was a power outage? That must have been interesting. In any case, I hope your will power held out if you went to the party. Beer is my downfall...

Kawaii: Man, you're kicking butt! Leopalace is a pretty big chain of shitty little マンション that cater to foreigners. Unfortunately my company has some kind of contract with them, so they try to force you into living in them...there's really no English resources where I am out in the boonies, so I don't feel comfortable enough in my Japanese to try to find my own apartment and navigate the key money BS and everything. The only plus side to Leopalaces is that the furniture and internet are included. My apartment made one of my friends' apartment in Tokyo look like a palace...and she was in a pretty small place >.<

I almost bought a giant maki yesterday because I went to do my shopping late enough that everything was half off...I was going to cut it in half and eat it for two days, but then I remembered that rice gets dry and nasty after a day in the fridge, and with no re-heating to try to revive it, I figured it wouldn't be worth it.

----

So I just discovered something wonderful...Sukiya sells microwave gyudon packets. The expectation is that you add your own rice and end up with Sukiya-style gyudon (which I adore). Well, the packets of meat and onions are only 128 calories. I popped one in the microwave for a minute then emptied it over a plate of salad instead of rice and BAM...mouthgasm dinner for under 250 calories. Didn't even need dressing on the salad because there was the gyudon sauce. HOW DID I NEVER KNOW THESE EXISTED?

In less-awesome news, I'm done with classes with my favorite 3rd and 4th graders...my JTE and I alternate 3/4 and 5/6 at that school, and I'm stuck with the older kids for the last rotation. I have 1st graders mashed in too, but the 3rd and 4th graders are my favorite to teach because they're old enough that they can control their excessive genki-ness if needed, but young enough that school in general (especially English) is still magical to them. At least I still have 4th graders at one of my other schools...
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Old 02-04-2013, 10:50 AM   #27
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morning ladies!

bea: ugh, how annoying. but, i think the point is the rude chick did notice youíve lost weight, and said you look good. maybe she is just lacking social skills. and now youíve recognized a potential trigger.

kawaii: hahaha "crying by circuit 2Ē girl you crack me up. too funny. congrats on the loss YET AGAIN! gotta start researching Jillian... Good point about bringing your own food, I wish I would have thought of that.

hotaru: what a score, i love discovering little things like that! yummy and super low cal??? is it possible?? fantastic!

~~~
alright chicks, Iíve weighed in... 185.4 lbs!!! Holy crap, most Iíve ever weighed. Good times. 55.4 lbs to lose to hit goal. Thaaatís daunting.

Short post today... I was up all night with food poisoning! I did OK yesterday, stayed away from the processed crap and ate some homemade Chili that was mostly chicken and beans, and then I was poisoned! Ugh, stupid parties. lol
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Old 02-04-2013, 04:45 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beahawkins View Post

--------------------------------------
Oh! So, yesterday at the gym, I ran into someone I haven't seen since I started losing. And she was like oh, how much have you lost? I was like about 35. and She was like, well your face looks really good, it's really thinned out, don't worry you'll start to see the rest. And I was like uhh...

And then I remembered why I don't hang out with that group of friends anymore. I hate it, but I think her comment kind of led to my binge last night. It made me feel, well, I guess nobody else can notice so it doesn't really matter. And I hate that that's the way it ended up. I have done great! I have lost 35% of the weight I want to lose! That's a pretty big chunk. Just because some chick ugh. It just makes me mad. I can see a difference. I think everything would be fine if people would not say dumb things, cause I know that she didn't really mean to hurt me, the girl is just crazy low on understanding social situations. She is always saying things without thinking things through. Sigh.
I hate when people are like that. They can't give a compliment without also saying something negative. I had someone tell me the opposite. they said I was losing weight in my body, but my cheeks were still fat. I'm like wtf?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hotaruchan View Post
----
In less-awesome news, I'm done with classes with my favorite 3rd and 4th graders...my JTE and I alternate 3/4 and 5/6 at that school, and I'm stuck with the older kids for the last rotation. I have 1st graders mashed in too, but the 3rd and 4th graders are my favorite to teach because they're old enough that they can control their excessive genki-ness if needed, but young enough that school in general (especially English) is still magical to them. At least I still have 4th graders at one of my other schools...
I want to teach 4th graders! I agree, they're probably at the best age, where they still love school, and they want to learn

Quote:
Originally Posted by peachflesh View Post
morning ladies!
~~~
Short post today... I was up all night with food poisoning! I did OK yesterday, stayed away from the processed crap and ate some homemade Chili that was mostly chicken and beans, and then I was poisoned! Ugh, stupid parties. lol
food poisoning has to suck hope you feel better!

____________
So I'm pretty happy that I am SO close to the 180s! I still can't believe that there is a 1 instead of a 2 whenever I step on the scale. also, have any of you guys done online dating? I have a date with this guy on Saturday, and I'm so freaking nervous. He sounds really really nice. and I put up pics of my full body, but still I am nervous I don't look like he thinks I do. ahhh, dating sucks lol.

How's everyone's Monday going?
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Old 02-04-2013, 04:56 PM   #29
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Kawaii: I def. didn't see it on Broadway. If only!!! But they came to Cincinnati so it was still pretty great!

Hotaruchan: I may be hungry, but that description sounds amazing!!!

Peachflesh: My trigger is totally connected to emotions. And she is definitely lacking social skills. I just I have to remember that and seeing her wasn't planned so I wasn't prepared to deal with it.

KissKiss: Ahh! I want to see a 1 instead of a 2 so bad!! That's so awesome!!! People are just lame. You clearly have been losing!
I met my last two boyfriends online. They are absolutely 100% completely different from each other. So, all kinds of people are using it. And it is great because I think if I had met either of them in person I wouldn't have been interested. (I don't give people a chance) And they are both a lot shorter than men I normally am interested in. Have fun! One tip I would give, meet them where you are going. I don't want anyone knowing where I live especially if they turn out to be a creep by the time you order dinner.
-----------------------------------------------------

Well today I tried this diet I found on Pintrest.
Day 1 all the fruit you could want Day 2 veggies and a potato Day 3 a combo Day 4 bananas and yogurt Day 5 chicken and tomatoes Day 6 chicken and veggies Day 7 a chicken veggie soup.

I wanted to do this. Just to push myself to get to the other side of 230. I am so sick of seeings a 3 and like every other day I am at 229. So it's just a little tiny push! But I don't think I can do it. I am already feeling a bit dizzy. I am not at all hungry. I am completely full, just on fruit. I want so steak! or protein I can't think.
I think I am going to have a spoonful of peanut butter.. It's protein and it shouldn't counteract most of this right?
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Old 02-05-2013, 03:50 AM   #30
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Height: 5'6''

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Peachflesh: Feel better! I haven't had a scale in ages, and I'm kinda terrified to see what it looks like when I get one again...I've been good, but not knowing is painful >.<

KissKiss: You'll be in the 180s in no time. In terms of online dating, I half-met my boyfriend on okcupid...I say half-met because we were working at the same place and he only actually started talking to me more than a polite "hello" or two after he found my profile and realized that we had a lot in common. That being said, I went on single dates with a few creepers too. I second Bea's suggestion of driving yourself...for her reason and also because if you're not feeling 100% comfortable with a situation, having your own transportation is a HUGE weight off of your chest.

Bea: That diet kinda sounds like a *******ized version of a crash thing I tried in high school...it didn't work especially well, if I recall, and honestly if you're feeling dizzy when full, I might be concerned about some blood sugar issues or something. Most of those things say you can't make substitutions or do things like add peanut butter, but they also rarely live up to their claims. In any case, good luck.

Today was a REALLY rough day. My 6th graders are trying their hardest to drive me up a wall, and it's working pretty well. When instructed to write a story to present to the class, one group wrote one about violently murdering each other. THAT was fun. Presentations are next class, so we'll see if I come out of that with even the smallest shred of sanity still intact...

Also, the wind here is stupid. I went to leave this morning and found all of the bikes in the bike port either blown over or strewn across the parking lot. The f-ing wind is strong enough to drag a fallen bike 10 feet over the course of a night...wtf? When I told my JTE about it this morning, she shrugged and told me that the wind only gets worse over the next few months. Seriously can't wait to be home...
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Mini Goal: 170 lbs by August 11th (It'll be a very happy birthday indeed)--Reached 7/25/12
Mini Goal #2: Normal BMI (under 155 lbs)--Reached 12/3/12
5 lbs gets me a dragonfly:

Last edited by Hotaruchan : 02-05-2013 at 03:51 AM.
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