[kisskiss]

Just wanted to echo what everyone else is saying. I also have that mindset that I will be more lovable and more attractive to men if I lose weight, or keep losing weight. I know deep down that this mentality is not healthy or true. I think someone else above said it best by saying we need to learn to love ourselves first. It's hard to accept that, but I ultimately believe it.

[ChickieBoom]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm 33 and single and definitely feeling the pressure to find someone to settle down with. I've had relationships before though and I've only been fat for the last 7 years or so.

There are plenty of women on this site in relationships at all different sizes so I would think that you are probably your own worst enemy as far as that goes. If you don't think that you deserve to have a man...you won't have one. I don't know that losing weight will change that. Looks can only get you so far. Personality is probably key.

I personally didn't take as good care of myself when I was heavier. I didn't really dress nicely because I hated going shopping and didn't see the point in wasting money on big ugly clothes, I didn't make as much of an effort with myself and I was miserable with myself and I'm sure that I was projecting that out into the universe. Now my friends are all telling me that they forgot how much fun I used to be. I forgot too.

Losing weight is an emotional journey. I have learned so much about myself and started paying attention to parts of my personality that I didn't even notice before. It's not all about the looks on the outside.

I don't know if I've answered your original question but it's all on you. If there's something that you want, you have to be the one to figure out how to get it. And you have to be honest in looking at yourself and figuring out where there are areas of improvement. Are you fun to be around? Are you nice? Do you put people at ease when they're with you? I think these are the things that attract people to us.