[lunarsongbird]

I met my DH at my all time heaviest weight. So every pound that I lose- is a pound lighter then he has ever seen me, so that's exciting. He swears up and down that my weight doesn't effect anything in our relationship.

But I know it does. I definitely have body issues and it mostly hinders me in the bedroom. I think being in my head is killing my libido. Frankly, just beign in the process of making changes makes me more confident and is allowing me to be able to be a little more outgoing.

So I guess I feel like I am failing my significant other if I don't keep going.

[mateosmama2005]

Originally Posted by SoMuchFattitude

It's interesting for me. I've been with my husband for going on 9 years and I weighed 80lbs+ more when I met him. He's always encouraged me to lose weight for health reasons and it's just now, that I've lost weight that I care about "looking good" in that sense. My husband is a hottie and I definitely landed a looker, so I feel like he deserves the same. I understand what you're saying, but my situation happened in reverse. lol

Posted from 3fatchicks.com App for Android

[ilovemo]

Yes, yes, YES!!

Im losing the weight for me, but also for him, for us. :-)

[namaste984]

My fiancé doesn't mind my weight too much, we're both supportive of each other's weight loss. My ex was a real pr!ck though, he always thought I was overweight and called me all kinds of rude names. Ironically, he was significantly overweight as well. When my fiancé and I first got together, we lost weight together. He lost twenty-five pounds and is now a little stringbean (but a cute one!) but I kind of dwindled around the same weight. Fortunately though, it hasn't effected our relationship too negatively. So now, all that to say, I don't think I've failed him. I inspired him to lose weight, and that's great! And it may be a cliché to say that he won't mind your weight, but if your guy's a keeper what he will care about is that you're happy and love him. If he cares about your weight to the point of being insensitive about it, you might want to let him go, because beauty is one of the first things to go when you get older.

Just my two cents.

[Avezy44]

I know I do! My boyfriend is 5'5" and 135 lbs. He is a tiny thing and his weight never fluctuates. When we started dating going on 5 years ago I was 230-235 pounds and 5'6". I was extremely self-conscious because I constantly felt like Sasquatch in public with him. About a year and a half into our relationship I started losing weight and got down to 165 at my lowest. I felt great and I could tell he loved it.. even if I was still 30 pounds heavier and an inch taller.

I fell into a depression and gained all of my weight + some back. My self-esteem and confidence have plummeted but my boyfriend is still by my side, encouraging me to do whatever it is I need to be happy. Whenever I feel like the worlds worst girlfriend, he reminds me that we are still happy and strong and that the problem isn't our relationship, it's how I view myself.

Point being, you haven't failed your relationship. If a man would leave you because of weight gain, he is in it for the wrong reasons and you will be better off without them in the long run. You sound like you have a good man on your hands. Make yourself happy girly!

[lrgemmell]

I definitely have the same kind of body issues. I gained 30 pounds after moving in with my boyfriend almost two years ago. I only recently decided to do something about it, started weight watchers and have lost 15 pounds.

Now that I feel like I have a handle on my eating habits and am experiencing the weight loss, I'm becoming more and more aware of how overweight he is and don't know how to approach it. Any time I try to make a commment on his portion or what he's eating he says "I'm a man, I need to eat more than you", which of course is true to a certain extent.

I'm a total worrier, and of course, my mind instantly goes to him getting diabetes and all this stuff. Does anyone have any experience with trying to get their boyfriends/husbands/significant others to jump on the bandwagon or any recommendations? I know I can't be too codependant, but I want him to lose weight with me and experience it with me and reap the benefits that I will too. The other sucky thing, is that we work opposite shifts, so there are a couple days a week we see each other but other than that, I only see him in the morning when I get up and he's already sleeping.

[Radiojane]

Irgemmell, I'm very familiar with this struggle, both with my boyfriend, and from watching my dad. The bottom line is, you have to want to change, and you can't make him want to. He has to get there on his own.

Shift work has it's own unique challenges. My boyfriend works shifts, and the stress on his body is phenomenal. Of course making good choices would help him feel better, but getting the motivation to do that when you're constantly messing up your body clock is tough. The best thing you can do is if you're the one cooking, make it as healthy as possible. I've started feeding my man a starter salad with dinner, this helps to fill him up without him slamming 1500 calories in one meal. I also encourage things like walks and get him to come to the pool occasionally.

As we make healthier choices in our lives, and discover the true extent of the harm we've done to our own bodies, it's only natural that we'll begin to worry about the people in our lives. But we also have to remember how we felt when our failings were pointed out to us. It may take a long time for your man to change his habits. Just keep being a good example for him.

[1yr2mkovr]

I totally felt that way!!!

I gained a lot of weight after I met my husband. It bothered me and I knew that it bothered him too, but I didn't know what to do about it. A year before our wedding I went to try on wedding gowns and I looked like a horrible mess of white frills, so I had no choice but to do something about it. I lost the weight... Most of it. About 50 pounds! After our honeymoon though, I started gaining it back. I gained about 70 pounds back and was faced with the same issue: feeling like I failed him, and myself all over again.

Here is the good news!!!! IT'S NOT TOO LATE!!! Six months ago I decided to dedicate this year to my weightloss, so that my husband and I could have a summer of fun and travel, where we can both feel free, young, and NOT selfconscious. This will hopefully be our last summer together as just a couple (since we're planning to start a family) and losing this weight now will be amazing for pregnancy later on, but at this point what excites me mst is that we will have that mnth or two in which I will once again be that arm candy that I used to be for him.

So, yes, there's no sugar coating it, you would feel more comfortable being at your original weight (although, for your height and a gain of only 30 pounds, i'm not sure that I would completely agree with your assessment) but the bottom line is that you are not that deep into the water, and you can once again get back to that place where you were It's not too late

[ubercast]

I met my girlfriend while I was significantly over weight, and it took so long for anything to happen because I felt so self-conscious. I kept wondering why she would want to be with me, because she could do so much better. She is a beautiful woman, and I don't feel the same about myself.

I know that a large part of the reason I want to lose weight is so that I can feel worthy of her, but I also think that even if I lose weight I still wouldn't be able to think of myself as pretty. I feel that if I don't lose weight I am not the best person I can be.

[yourbffmegan]

I entered my last relationship (that lasted 4) years, relatively overweight but still INCREDIBLY comfortable in my skin. During that time i packed on 85lbs with my boyfriend turned fiance saying he didn't care, i was beautiful being "thick" was attractive. About 6 months ago I ended the relationship and I don't even recognize myself. So, i did the opposite and my bf was more interested in me cooking yummy dinners or going out to eat than how I looked. In the end I think, they'll be happy if we're happy if it's who we're meant to be with.