So I was on here a while ago writing about how me and my friend were going to move out but she actually ended up getting herself fired because of drinking.
I've decided to move out on my own, to a studio, since I realized when planning with her that it's really something I want for myself. I'm 21 and, while I love my family, I have the means to move out and I think it would be worth it to be fully independent.
But something I've been worried about are my friends and how much they drink and use drugs. I used to be the same way for many years, but quit in order to get my life together. Now I binge drink sometimes when I have the time but during the school semester I rarely drink more than a few beers or glasses of wine, and never on a school/work night. I also quit smoking cigarettes. I've been incredibly focused on my spirituality and taking care of my body. I've come to love myself and I want to take care of myself.
I feel bad even just drinking, but my friends are doing the hard stuff still. They know I've quit and so they don't really bring it up but I know when they're on anything because I know what that high is like and I can see it.
I think it might be time to leave my friends behind and try to make some friends in college, but I'm so horrible at making friends so I'm not sure really what to do. I think it has to be this way, for my health, but I've been friends with these people for 7+ years! That's a long time and a lot of memories.
I really have been making some strides in my eating disorder though, and have made a lot of realizations. Sure, I like a party as much as the next person, but I can't be immersed in that lifestyle anymore.
What do you guys think? Even simply as a matter of health...I might have to go it alone with just my family until I start making some new friends.
I will be perfectly honest. You need to leave them behind and find new friends. I am speaking from personal experience. When I was 17 I became addictted to methamphetimines. All my friends did them so I figured why not? It became the thing that consumed my life. Almost a year later I was arrested for some bad desicion I made while high. That lead to being kicked out of my grandfathers home and being homeless for a few months while still using. I did a lot of things I am not proud of to stay high. I'm not really sure what woke me up but one day I knew it had to stop. I walked away from the drugs but I still had my friends. I quickly learned that even more had to change. Although I had grown up with the people around me, I had somehow outgrown them. When I decided to move 2 cities away from everyone and pretty much alienate myself from them my life became so much better. I met a wonderful man and married him. I am nearly finished with college and we have a place of our own and are doing pretty well. My advice to you is to get rid of the negatives (i.e. your friends) and focus on you and making yourself better. Once you do that you will find new friends who are healthy to be around.
Thanks for the advice. I too was addicted to meth, and that's the drug my friends are usually doing.
Luckily I never got in trouble with it, but I had to quit everything and straighten up my life, and now they are still doing it. Sometimes they do it while I'm around, drinking with them, when my inhibitions are low and I get that urge to do it too. I can't. I have done too much for myself and my life to let it fall apart now.
Do what is right for you... and honestly drinking and drugs is NOT right (you already know that)
Get involved in HEALTHY activities... you are in college explore new clubs and make new friends ASK QUESTIONS... that is a great way to make friends... listen to others talk.
I'm sad to read that the drugs in question are what they are. Congratulations for getting yourself out of the meth world before you turned into one of the "faces of meth" shock photos that get posted all over news websites.
Your friends are in a hard place, but you don't need to be there watching them get worse and worse. Should they come around and realize they need to change and clean up, you'll be there - I think anyone who has had a drug problem or been around addicts realizes that addiction is a terrible force that changes people and sucks in their friends.
I was in the same boat as you years ago. I was smoking marijuana doing coke,ecstasy and drinking at least a bottle of vodka by myself a night. I honestly do not know how I made it out of that alive, but I did. I had to cut off a lot of my friends to do it and these were people I knew for years but I realized that if I stayed around them they were going to bring me down with them. It will be hard to do but eventually you will see that it was the right thing to do. All you can do is hope and pray that maybe they will get help for themselves and get out of that lifestyle. I wish you luck.
I think Samantha hit the nail on the head. You've out grown your friends--plain and simple. When you are ready to make changes you either grow or you stay stagnant. Unfortunately you may need to distance yourself from these friends and learn to live in a world where drugs and alcohol are not a part of it. Our twenties are all about growth. You will learn so many things about yourself, your old friends and new friends, as well as begin to see your life change in so many ways. They make movies about self-discovery because it's true and happens to everyone. Hopefully you'll be able to recognize your own self-discovery, as you seem to already have, and continue on a path that will make you happy.
i was a meth addict for over 7 years. I can tell you, plain and simply, in order to achieve sobriety, you have to sever ALL ties with ANYONE you associate with using drugs.
I did that. I got rid of my cell phone number, deleted everyones number, and i mean EVERYONE. I was incredibly lonely for well over a year.
I tried first to get sober while still stayingwith a boyfriend who used. Even after being arrested, having my daughter taken from me, and random piss tests, it was STILL hard to stay sober. Id make it a few weeks, a couple months, but then always relapse, or slip.
It wasnt until i cut off everyone in my life except family that i was able to get clean.
good luck. Youre in a good place (ie not physically addicted; rather attached to the lifestyle) to make a change.
If youre really serious though, about changing things, id look at the binge drinking too..... not judging, but no good can come of it.
I don't know much about using.. but what I do know is that its best to surround yourself with people who have the same ideas and visions as you. Its so hard to be around people who don't have the same values..
Your entire future career could be ruined if the police busted a place you were in with your friends and your friends were doing drugs there. Even if you aren't doing drugs yourself, you can definitely get a criminal record for being associated with people doing drugs. I hate to sound prissy but if you want a good life you kind of have to play by the rules. It would be better for your future if you weren't friends with these people anymore. There are lots of people out there to make friends with and if you still hang out with people who do drugs, you are much more likely to slip back into it yourself.
Last edited by LucyOlivia; 12-31-2012 at 02:28 PM.
Well luckily I'm moving out soon and I am thinking I might not tell them my new address or have them visit me there.
I've already decided I want to enforce good habits in my new apartment, like no binging in there, or getting shitty wasted or letting my friends come over drunk and destroy the place. Over the holidays they came over to my parents and hung out in my room for some drinks and all they do is knock beverages over, push things off shelves and generally cause destruction. Obviously it's because they are drunk but I just hate the feeling of waking up in that mess.
If I want to drink I just have a bit of wine. Maybe one glass too many and I get a little giggly but I never get trashed, knocking my things over and spilling drinks. That's not what I want.
I want to maintain as many pleasant habits and memories in my new place as is possible. I'm trying to get healthy and lose weight, and if there's one thing I can't do is get back into heavy drinking and using.
All my friends are still doing drugs...
