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Feeling weird in college?

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Old 09-01-2012, 02:55 PM   #1
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Default Feeling weird in college?

So I'm in my second semester and my classes are going really amazing! I love them.

One thing I feel weird about though is trying to make friends with guys. I generally don't care if you're a guy or a girl. We're in the same class, let's be nice to each other and talk.

I generally just try to strike up a conversation with people around me, and get to know my classmates. I feel like it goes well usually, but I feel like guys think I'm just being desperate and must think they're hot or something.

Perhaps I'm just being paranoid though. I talked to this one guy a lot last semester because we always sat in the same spots and he was always there. He brought up his wife a lot and I felt like he was trying to give me a hint, even though I was definitely not hitting on him. I generally play for the other team, if you get my drift?

It's still awkward though. I'm there to learn and be social so I don't want to feel like I can only talk to girls without feeling like the guy thinks I'm hitting on him. Does anyone else have this problem?
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Old 09-01-2012, 03:26 PM   #2
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I wouldn't worry about it, honestly. If a guy thinks you're hitting on him, that's his problem. I mean there's a difference between carrying on a conversation and flirting. If he can't tell the difference, it's on him. Just continue being friendly and talking to people. At my college at least, everyone talks to everyone. I'm sure 99% of people will be responsive to you and you hitting on them won't cross their minds.
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Old 09-01-2012, 03:54 PM   #3
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Thanks.

A lot of it's probably in my head. I feel like people assume fat=desperate. It's just not the case, but I'm used to hanging out with adults so when I meet people closer to my age I have no idea what to expect.

I will continue to just keep talking to people and hopefully I can establish some good friendships. I also know that I'm in a lot of classes that are general requirements, like Math, where people don't necessarily love that subject. I'm also in German 101 and I know a lot of my classmates won't carry on with the classes after this, and so I'm hoping once I get into the classes people take for fun and for their degrees I will start meeting people with similar interests who have a passion for the subject. I feel like that makes it way easier to talk to people.
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Old 09-02-2012, 09:01 AM   #4
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If you're worried about people not sharing interests with you, maybe you should poke around the student union (or check your school's website) and see if there's any clubs or organizations that sound fun to you. I helped to run a zombie apocalypse twice a year on my campus and met lots of crazy, awesome, equally nerdy people doing it. I was in the marching band, and so was fortunate enough to make friends that lasted the whole 4 years and beyond in the week before most people even came to campus. There was a pretty equal girl to guy ratio in my group of marching band friends, and well...the zombie apocalypse was pretty much a sausage fest. It was funny because the male admins would swing between treating me like one of the guys and deciding that I was their princess and too frail to do things (naturally that part would occur AFTER I toted a 50 lb garbage pail full of rocks across campus for a mission prop).

I doubt that people actually assume it, honestly, but if people assume that you striking up a conversation automatically equals you hitting on them, they need to get over themselves. I wouldn't worry too much about it. At the beginning everyone's in the same awkward transition phase.
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Old 09-02-2012, 11:45 AM   #5
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I was always more into my class/art work than hanging out with people in college but overall I generally would talk to more boys at first and then when I got into my more junior/senior class I was talking to more girls but my major lent itself to that because 75% of my class was girls. I tell them I'm not looking for anything beyond friendship because I don't play those types of games. Either we are just talking or we aren't. If you talk to a guy enough he will know. Fat doesn't equal desperate... In my area a lot of the plus size girls are sought after especially if they have long hair. I don't know why the hair length comes into play it's just what I've noticed.
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Old 09-02-2012, 02:02 PM   #6
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Thanks for the advice everyone. It's probably me feeling insecure as I get used to being in college. I went to school for hairdressing and it was all women students and we all had something to talk about, which was hair.

I am excited though because I'm in my language class and I hope during the next few semesters I'll meet people who are really serious about language and travelling, which is what I'm excited for. I also play the ukulele so I was going to see if there's like a music club. There's also the gay straight alliance, video game club and German club. I think it's just up to me to go to these things and find friends who have similar interests.

I'll go to the German Kaffeklatsch meet-up this weekend and it'll probably make me feel much better.

Thanks everyone!
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Old 09-02-2012, 02:08 PM   #7
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It's hard to tell what other people are thinking, so maybe you're reading more into their actions than is actually there? Either way, don't let it get you down. Just keep being your friendly self, and the good ones will make up for the annoying ones.
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