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"Is that part of your diet?" (A rant)

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Old 08-12-2012, 12:59 PM   #16
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I think its the worst when they give you really bad advice "well you could just eat one giant cupcake! you've been eating so well!"........ shut up shut up shut up!
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Old 08-12-2012, 01:53 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by CanadianCutie View Post
Well the "never telling people you're dieting" works if you have 5 or 10 pounds to lose, when you've lost a substantial amount people ask questions, and think it's their business. I get this from always skinny people, people who have lost quite a bit of weight, and people as big or bigger than I've ever bee.
I lost 90 pounds without telling anybody I was dieting, and yes people eventually did notice. When they asked "have you lost weight?' I say yes, and I did it on purpose and then change the subject.
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Old 08-12-2012, 02:27 PM   #18
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Thank you for posting this thread -- I have people in my life who do the same thing. I did not tell them I was dieting, nor did I ask for their advice; but they just can't keep their "inaccurate" and "uninformed" opinions to themselves. If you can't say anything nice or positive or encouraging, then just muzzle it ...

Where do you get off telling me that the reason I'm fat is becuz I stopped walking (two people have said this to me) -- EXCUSE ME, but I have never stopped walking. I walk every day -- all day -- many times a day. You just don't see me doing it becuz you don't live with me or in my neighbourhood. If you can't get your facts straight, then jam it ...

And, I don't give a "good gosh dang" if my doctor would frown on me for eating yogurt icecream (or anything else for that matter); it's none of his ruddy business. I don't tell him what to eat, nor do I waste any of my time wondering about it ...

And NO -- I don't like blueberries & cream -- blech ... I like what I like and I eat what I like, thanks. Now, you eat what you like and I'll eat what I like; and never the twain shall meet ...


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I think its the worst when they give you really bad advice "well you could just eat one giant cupcake! you've been eating so well!"........ shut up shut up shut up!
KATIE ~ right on, girl; esp the very last part!!!
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Old 08-12-2012, 02:41 PM   #19
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Unfortunately, at work nothing is kept a secret. So, lots of people (whether I told them or not) knows about my weight loss. The worst is when they constantly ask how much have I lost NOW. You just asked me this a couple days ago!! It really aggravates me if I'm having a slow week and not feeling too well about it.

People need to realize whatever we're eating or not eating is none of their dag on business! If I want to eat 50 cupcakes one day that is my prerogative. If I want to say no to something you offer that's my say so, it's not on you to tell me "well, you've been doing so good you should treat yourself". Because honestly you have no idea what I treat myself with or how I do it.

People are inconsiderate and really don't realize that they're being that way or they just don't care. I've learned to let it roll off my shoulders.

This one time I was wearing this shirt that used to fit me some months ago but now is way too big. And one of my co-workers pulled me to the side to tell me not to wear that again, because I've been wearing really cute things, and she doesn't want me to go back to dressing in too big of clothes. It was laundry day and I honestly didn't have anything else to wear, and also I didn't realize how big it was on me until I looked in the full length mirror at work. LOLOL! The point is if I want to wear a burlap sack everyday that's my decision. I told her that, only kindly.
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Old 08-13-2012, 07:40 PM   #20
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I hate when people think that just because I'm dieting it's all I want to talk about. I also hate when people go out of their way to lie to me about what they are eating. Like my mom's friend who apparently has been on a hardcore diet for the past few decades and hasn't lost a pound. Despite this fact she always gets in everyones face about calories and weight loss tips (and trust me, she doesn't have a slow metabolism). Like i'm sorry, I don't believe that you were totally full yesterday and all you had was cottage cheese, a cucumber and a pear. And she talks like I just don't understand how hard it is to lose weight, as if I can't have a messed up relationship with food just because I'm not as heavy as she is. It's kind of insulting how she mitigates my eating issues just because I'm not obese or anorexic.
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Old 08-13-2012, 07:51 PM   #21
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Really what business is it of theirs unless you are asking them to make you accountable? Maybe you can politely tell them thank you, but that you don't need any suggestions/advice.... and if you do, you will be sure to let them know.
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Old 08-14-2012, 06:45 AM   #22
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I can understand this completely. This is why only a couple of people know that I've changed my lifestyle (I don't say diet, diet to me is something you will stop eventually, I plan to stick to my lifestyle for life now)

I had said to friend a few weeks ago I might have a couple of ciders when we go out that weekend. The weekend came and she asked me if I was going to drink and I said I wasn't really up for it and she said "Why? Is this because of your diet?" and I said flat out "No". I was picking cider which is pretty fattening so obviously it was nothing to do with "my diet". She actually seemed to get pretty annoyed when she asked me that same morning did I want her to get me something to drink for the night while she was at the shop and I said I wasn't sure if I was going to drink! It is pretty annoying when she thinks it's because of "my diet" when it really wasn't. Just wasn't in the mood that particular time to drink. And if it was, I would have picked something low calorie...There are times when they'll offer me something like chocolate which I limit myself to have and they will say "God! You're really sticking to this health kick aren't you", almost like she doesn't think I can do it.
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Old 08-14-2012, 11:35 PM   #23
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I don't tell people I am dieting.. except my husband. BAD IDEA! He has the set rule of "If you want to lose weight, you can NEVER EVER EAT ANYTHING BAD AGAIN". A piece of cake? Nope. A chocolate bar? YEAH RIGHT! When I try to explain to him that they are planned into my calorie budget and that in a healthy lifestyle, people don't munch on carrots all day, he tells me that "That idea is stupid and you should just never eat those things EVER again". He eats like a 15 year old boy (junk food galore!) and never gains a pound so he doesn't understand. I swear, when I have worked hard for that piece of chocolate and I get lectured, it takes everything I have to not kick him square in the knee and tell him that he knows NOTHING about weight loss or a healthy lifestyle.
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Old 08-15-2012, 12:22 AM   #24
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Candeka- I know EXACTLY where you're coming from on this one. I buy ONE candy at 7-11 and I hear behind me "honey, are you sure you want to do that".... .......... *so angry*

But now! My guy is a bit older and he can't eat how he used to, so the tummy is expanding. So he's had to start the diet with me and now I do the same thing to him so he knows how annoying it is!
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Old 08-15-2012, 06:43 AM   #25
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Candeka-That sounds all too familiar!! Don't people get that if I say "no" to everything, someday I'm gonna end up saying "yes" to everything! I can't eat PERFECT all the time and still enjoy life!
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Old 08-16-2012, 09:38 AM   #26
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I don't tell anyone either but its a bit hard when its your boyfriend.

He might say are you really going to eat that and sometimes I'm like >) dkjfakslfj I have planned for this, but then again a lot of the time I am cheating myself but I don't need him to say that.

His relations are worse so in hindsight I wish I told him not to say anything, his mother had the cheek to stand there give out about HIS eating habits as if it was my fault and said that we eat too much pizza and drink coke all the time.. wth.. and that was after I had changed my lifestyle even before thats not the reason why I'm big, its not coke or pizza, it was icecream and potatos get it right sista.

He tells her when I've lost weight and she says GOOD, in a really moral way, or if she hears anything about unhealthy food its GOOD you shouldnt be eating that!!!

and his aunty... said to me as I was literally putting a spoon of a sliver of cake into my mouth "don't you know cake is fattening!?!?!" in front of everyone and I responded "ah now come on I hardly think one little piece is going to ruin my lovely figure, what do YOU think?" and she was just smirking at me. Well then again when she found out we were engaged she also said "I wonder how long that ring is going to stay on that finger now"... yeah.
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Old 08-16-2012, 09:47 AM   #27
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Two words come to mind reading this thread UNSOLICITED ADVICE!
usually from my boyfriend about my career first then weight, its like ah I forgot I can make choices for myself.

A few people have noticed my weight loss and I find it much easier to say oh I just started circuit training, or I just cycle everywhere, because if I mention food or diet then I will never be able to eat anything again in front of them without them eyeballing me, and even when the weight comes off I don't want the.. careful now you don't want to gain all that back now or ruin all your hard work.
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Old 08-16-2012, 03:29 PM   #28
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I am sooo happy to hear that I'm not the only one who gets this AND that I'm not the only one who reacts this way!!! Because, well, I react badly...

This may be taking it to the extreeme but next week I'm going home to see family and in a week there will be a big family celebration that will have all my family (including extended family) AND family friends there. Now, at this point, I have lost enough weight that it is fairly noticable, but when I went shopping for an outfit, I bought a shirt that is VERY lose fitting. I have a great pair of heals for the party, that I will wear with black pants and this shirt! The reason? BECAUSE I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO SEE THAT I'VE LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT AND I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER THEIR DAMN QUESTIONS! After this party I won't see them (hopefully) for another three and a half months, which gives me enough time to get to a healthy BMI (or fairly close to it.) By then I'll be much more relaxed and less effected by anything anybody has to say. But at this point, while I'm in the middle of my journey, I don't want to hear it from anybody.

I'm fairly certain that people will still notivce the change because it's pretty evident in my face too, but hopefully it won't be too too obvious...
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Old 08-18-2012, 06:28 AM   #29
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i could have wrote this grrrrrrrrrrrr its just so frustrating but i have had the conversation that you can support me from "afar" aka if i suggest a walk join me.. but if i want to eat a biscuit do NOT comment...
i suppose aswell its my own annoyance that i'm having a day off that i literally erupt if i get a comment or a look of Really you wanna eat that???

again makes me wanna eat more .. well i hav had the chat with my dh and now he drops it.. lol its for the greater good lol
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Old 08-19-2012, 09:44 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1yr2mkovr View Post
I am sooo happy to hear that I'm not the only one who gets this AND that I'm not the only one who reacts this way!!! Because, well, I react badly...

This may be taking it to the extreeme but next week I'm going home to see family and in a week there will be a big family celebration that will have all my family (including extended family) AND family friends there. Now, at this point, I have lost enough weight that it is fairly noticable, but when I went shopping for an outfit, I bought a shirt that is VERY lose fitting. I have a great pair of heals for the party, that I will wear with black pants and this shirt! The reason? BECAUSE I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO SEE THAT I'VE LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT AND I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER THEIR DAMN QUESTIONS! After this party I won't see them (hopefully) for another three and a half months, which gives me enough time to get to a healthy BMI (or fairly close to it.) By then I'll be much more relaxed and less effected by anything anybody has to say. But at this point, while I'm in the middle of my journey, I don't want to hear it from anybody.

I'm fairly certain that people will still notivce the change because it's pretty evident in my face too, but hopefully it won't be too too obvious...
I totally understand what you're getting at. It would be much easier if we could just do our own thing in a bubble sometimes and emerge without everyone commenting about it. If you're a private person then weight loss is very difficult because it's not as if you can hide it from everyone (unless of course you have a small amount you wish to lose).

I'm glad I've reached the point where people are used to me now. I don't really get any unsolicited advice anymore because I figure that people must realize that I know what I'm doing.

It wasn't too long ago though where I might dread going to certain events where I know I would see people who I hadn't seen in such a long time. I knew sometimes that my weight loss would come up and I would have to field questions and listen to unsolicited advice.

Luckily the last time I had such an event it was to see family that I literally hadn't seen since I was a teenager and while I was an obese teen, the family just assumed that I had "blossomed into this lovely young woman." I wasn't about to let them think otherwise, so I just smiled and kept my mouth shut, lol!!

It's funny now...the only unsolicited advice I get is from people in the health food stores! When I find a store that sells my beloved Quest bars I'll usually buy a few and there have been times when someone working says: "you look like you work out, do you lift weights?" and then they proceed to talk about some product or something. Ack! Certainly never happened to me before

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