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Snarky Comments - Mad or Motivation?

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Old 07-19-2012, 12:11 PM   #1
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Angry Snarky Comments - Mad or Motivation?

I was curious how everyone deals with the snarky comments from people.

I had a phone chat with my sister yesterday where she proceeded to tell me I could never be the size she is or weigh the amount she weighs. That situation just makes me want to prove her wrong and weigh less than her.

The other part of the conversation was her telling me how she wasn't trying to lose weight, but was anyway.

She is NINE years older than me! We were never competitive at anything. She did tell me once how she was jealous about how many boyfriends I had growing up. Well now obviously we are competitive at weight loss. Now that I am thinking more about it, one time she made a comment about a boyfriend being heavier than I was at the time and how awesome that was.

Again... more motivation
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Old 07-19-2012, 12:28 PM   #2
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Since weight is a very personal issue for me, I will admit I would get upset of any comments made about it to me. Thankfully, I have had very few comments made to me but when I did get the odd one (from people I knew), it did hurt me.

I think you are brilliant for being able to take the high road and turn what she said into motivation! Wish you the best of luck and hope one day you will get down to below her weight and prove her wrong! I have faith in you that you can do it!
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Old 07-19-2012, 02:17 PM   #3
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Since weight is a very personal issue for me, I will admit I would get upset of any comments made about it to me. Thankfully, I have had very few comments made to me but when I did get the odd one (from people I knew), it did hurt me.

I think you are brilliant for being able to take the high road and turn what she said into motivation! Wish you the best of luck and hope one day you will get down to below her weight and prove her wrong! I have faith in you that you can do it!
Thank you soo much! It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one taking things to heart. And thank you for having faith in me. I'm pretty sure very few people do for me in this time in my life. <3 Thank again!
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Old 07-19-2012, 08:14 PM   #4
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I'm sorry that your sister wants to take jealousy out on you rather than support you. The fact that she says you'll never do it, that just strikes me as really ballsy on her part. If you want to use it as motivation I can see why, but please also make sure you're doing for you first! Love yourself first, worry about her second. You can do it!!
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Old 07-19-2012, 08:25 PM   #5
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I have had a few comments along the way that really fueled the fire for me. All you really can do is show them... so I did! I remember a kid I used to work with in college made a comment after I mentioned I had just worked out said, "You? Work out? I don't think so."

What could I say? I spent the rest of the summer (and beyond) at the gym and my young friend ate his words

People will always try to project their own insecurities. Just don't let them become your insecurities.
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Old 07-19-2012, 08:31 PM   #6
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Default Snarky Comments from Loved Ones

Wow, so sorry to hear your sister is not supportive of you but rather seems to be a bit competitive. I've been getting some chilly reactions from a few people who are my peers that are overweight as well. I think their reactions are because people can be uncomfortable with change - not knowing how this will affect our ongoing relationships or how they view themselves compared to me as I lose weight. For example, I'm not participating in eating out at lunch for pizza and such like we used to do. Now I bring my own lunch most days. People are starting to notice my weight loss and clothes getting bigger on me and they make positive comments in front of those people and maybe they are a little jealous. Just keep focusing on the encouragement from here on the site and from people in your life that are in your corner. I would never have believed it possible for me to lose over 40 lbs. (so far) but reading what everyone is doing here has been such a motivating factor for me! Your sister will come around I'm sure so don't take it personally. It's really about how she feels about herself, not how she feels about you. You know what I mean?
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Old 07-19-2012, 09:49 PM   #7
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I'm sorry to see you have a family member who is being snarky, I really only have to deal with people at work being smart asses like today a co worker asked if I wanted to be as thin as the girl in this shape magazine, I answered no not that I know where I'll be happy at and she said she "was just kidding around" I'm not sure where the joke was in it, it just seemed condescending. I hope your situation improves
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Old 07-20-2012, 08:36 AM   #8
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I'm sorry that your sister wants to take jealousy out on you rather than support you. The fact that she says you'll never do it, that just strikes me as really ballsy on her part. If you want to use it as motivation I can see why, but please also make sure you're doing for you first! Love yourself first, worry about her second. You can do it!!
Of course I started this and will finish it for me. She just gives me that extra push. She's such a foul person sometimes. Her phrase is "No offense but..." add any nasty comment you want to the of it. She once told my husband "No offense but never wear that belt again." Of course it was favorite belt and gets very sensitive and bitter about stuff like that... he got rid of it.
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Old 07-20-2012, 08:53 AM   #9
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I can't get over the fact that no ones had any family say something to them. Only co-workers huh?

The fact is my sister is very insecure. Our family is always in a feud with her because she says she'll do something (like visit with her children) and she NEVER does it. She always has some excuse that her husband had to work on someones car or something even though he doesn't work and has all week to do it. Her husband is a hypocondriac and she will take him to the HOSPITAL before she takes her kid to the doctor. (Fyi... my mom took my nephew to the doctor while my sister was away and he ended up having an inner ear infection. My sister then proceeded to yell at my mom for taking him to the doctor even though he was up all night, at the age of 5, crying.)

She doesn't give a hoot about anyones feelings other than her and her husband.
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Old 07-20-2012, 08:55 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Thedollylala View Post
I'm sorry to see you have a family member who is being snarky, I really only have to deal with people at work being smart asses like today a co worker asked if I wanted to be as thin as the girl in this shape magazine, I answered no not that I know where I'll be happy at and she said she "was just kidding around" I'm not sure where the joke was in it, it just seemed condescending. I hope your situation improves
thedollylala: completely off topic but I loveee your tattoos! I have a chest piece too. Does your work have any issues with them at all?
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Old 07-20-2012, 10:53 AM   #11
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Ouch. I'm glad you're using her comments as motivation though!

I never really had snarky family comments, but I was told from a young age that I "would never be a size 4" or anything that small. It wasn't said in a nasty way or anything; my family just believed we were all built to be larger.

I shattered that expectation (and admittedly when I got down to a size 6 and saw I had more to lose I really used those comments as motivation) when I started hitting the small sizes. Most times I can comfortably wear a size 0, 2 and kids sizes. I don't mind it; after years of paying more for plus sizes I can pay a bit less for the kids sizes now.

Be prepared for people to "be concerned" about your weight for a while until they get used to you. I got it a lot, but now everyone's just gotten used to the smaller me that they don't say anything anymore.
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Old 07-20-2012, 11:29 AM   #12
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That's awesome that you're surpassed the size expectations! Congrats!

Thats similar to the rest of my family. They've ALWAYS been bigger. Which actually, now that I think of it, I've kept my goals matched with their "realistic" size expectations. Once I get to my goal, I'll adjust it and see how I do. Thanks for the positive outlook!
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Old 07-20-2012, 02:12 PM   #13
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I only have a brother, no sisters and he is very supportive at any weight always poo-pooing me whenever I say I want to lose weight but my mother? That's a different story. She has gotten a lot better in the last 2 years though but before that, she totally doubted that I could ever get under 150 and that I shouldn't kill myself trying, to settle at 170-180, etc.

I really only had one family member that said anything about my weight. I was 15/16 and just got back to nearly 150lbs from 200lbs. I was visiting my dad for the summer at the time and his sister/my aunt whom I didn't know well at the time- looked at me up and down and said something like "Oh you lost weight? Wow. You're not done right? You still have some more to go" then patted my stomach. I was shocked and hurt because I was feeling so good at 150-160 and for her to do that was just wow.

I would most definitely use that as motivation. You CAN do it!
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Old 07-20-2012, 04:09 PM   #14
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I only have a brother, no sisters and he is very supportive at any weight always poo-pooing me whenever I say I want to lose weight but my mother? That's a different story. She has gotten a lot better in the last 2 years though but before that, she totally doubted that I could ever get under 150 and that I shouldn't kill myself trying, to settle at 170-180, etc.

I really only had one family member that said anything about my weight. I was 15/16 and just got back to nearly 150lbs from 200lbs. I was visiting my dad for the summer at the time and his sister/my aunt whom I didn't know well at the time- looked at me up and down and said something like "Oh you lost weight? Wow. You're not done right? You still have some more to go" then patted my stomach. I was shocked and hurt because I was feeling so good at 150-160 and for her to do that was just wow.

I would most definitely use that as motivation. You CAN do it!
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR AUNT SAID THAT! That is ridiculous. If anyone patted my stomach I would smack them!

It's just so nice when you get someone to eat their words. So nice.

My brother who used to make fun of me for not being able to see my feet when I looked down (when I was about 8-10 and he was about 15-17) or how I need to stop eating that. He would talk about what I ate and everything.

He's been very supportive and proud with me losing. I HONESTLY believe he said those things to kind of help me hate myself to change my behaviors. He's honestly MEAN as heck out of LOVE. I'm not saying he's not wrong for the way he said things... I did hate myself for a long time. But his comments made me stronger. He's been glowing whenever someone asks about me or says something. It's too cute.
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Last edited by Verm0nster : 07-20-2012 at 04:16 PM. Reason: Extra blurb at the end.
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