As I've posted for the past few weeks, I work 3 jobs and average 60 hours a week most weeks. I have one day off this month and that's tomorrow, I only took it off because I need to register for upcoming classes then. My days consist of waking up and walking to work, working, walking to my other work, working, walking home, making supper, eating, doing work from home, and then going to sleep. On occasion I only work at one location but on those days I catch up on some work projects and house keeping stuff. On top of it all I'm trying to lose weight, maintain a social life and find an apartment to move in to in August (not having any luck).
I thought I was going strong for a while, I only had one meltdown after a particularly busy day, I could've handled that if it hadn't rained all day and the streets hadn't flooded. I got water in my shoes and I was cold and wet when I got home and just had to cry it out. I might have to have another cry today.
My fiance is as supportive as he can muster, but not much help, he pesters me for sex when I can barely keep my eyes open, I oblige most of the time but I'm far too tired to get any pleasure out of it, I just do what I know will "get the job done" for him really fast. I don't want to snap at him because we have so little time together I don't want to spend it making him feel bad. We can't afford to go anywhere on dates because every penny we make is accounted for, not that it matters because I never have time to go anywhere anyway.
I miss my friends, some of them have just stopped inviting us to stuff because we're always busy while others keep pushing me to find time to meet with them and I just don't have when!
I just feel like I'm stuck in a spiral and no matter what I try to get done it doesn't get done in the time frame I wanted or to the standard I wanted. I hate having a large paycheck come in and it all going to savings for our vacation in August and our wedding. I pull in over 3000 a month by myself and I can't afford to buy a new pair of shoes. The fiance works less (I lucked out and got one of my jobs through a connection or else I'd be working less too) but all his money goes into our expenses too, plus he's paying for financing for an engagement ring I haven't seen yet because the financing plan holds the item for 3 months, it'll be fall before I have the ring on my finger. He wouldn't settle on a cheaper one due to a pissing contest with my wealthy father who dislikes him.
Too much drama, problems and work and not enough free time, happiness and energy.
Wow- I understand your need to vent. Only having one day off in a month and working routine 60 hour workweeks would be exhausting. I guess it's one of those situations where you have to be grateful you're not one of the unemployed but at the same time that is super tough.
Is there a light at the end of the tunnel for you guys, or does it look like you'll be having to do this for a while?
Oh no, ah I think I know the feeling. =(
I don't really know what to say - you are certainly dealing with a lot, but you are being super strong about this since you are are able to "keep afloat" in these times. I know that when I have been in similar situations, I would definately break down and just start sobbing, which is A OK because flipping out gives me a physical release.
Do you mind me asking why you have to work so many jobs?
I mean, from what I read it sounds like you're saving up for vacations, weddings and engagement rings. But surely you should set aside money for savings AFTER you take out living expenses and personal money?
It just seems like a lot of hard work for something that isn't really urgent. I really don't mean to sound patronising or cruel, so please don't take it that way.
As for the drama, well, what's important is your love for one another not the amount that's spent on an object? It's just a ring. I might sound awfully cheesy but I wouldn't want hundreds nor thousands spent on a ring for me.
We are the "save save save" type of people, we'd like to pay for as much of our wedding up front as we can, and we want a nice wedding.
While I certainly don't take offense, Rie, we are the type of people who enjoy luxuries when it comes to big events like vacations or weddings, and while I may complain I do believe in the value of saving now to play hard later.
The engagement ring is not my territory, he picked it out and he's gotta figure out how he's paying for it. All I know is that he wanted a ring my dad couldn't ruin for me by saying it was sub-par, which he would do because they love pointing out that the fiancé isn't wealthy.
I work so many jobs now because I don't have time to in the fall when I'm at school, summer is when we collect money for all the things we might need it for over the school year (and now for the wedding as well)
A nurse I work with suggested I take the night off of my other job and organized a sick note for me, so I'm happily nestled into my couch at home noshing on a spinach and pecan chicken salad. I feel much better, I think a lot of it was being jerked around by an apartment manager who basically lied to me about apartment availability....
Oh definitely, saving is definitely the way to go. I've been saving for a year and half to live in another country, whereas I know some people would just borrow money they don't have and end up blowing it all. So I'm very much a saver too.
However, just a friendly opinion, it seems a bit redundant to work SO hard and for so long to experience a brief moment of luxury. I suppose I would rather wait longer to save and live a less stressful life and enjoy each day more. But each to their own, I'm not looking down on it, especially since you're going to Uni.
It seems a shame that he's buying you a ring that's for you, but also seems to be for your Dads approval =/. Surely his opinion on the worth of a ring isn't important? It might take a load off his mind to hear from you that he doesn't have to do that for approval? Just speculating here.
Last edited by Riestrella; 06-20-2012 at 07:46 PM.
I've told him, but he wants to buy this thing ,I'm going with it, in the end of the day we'll be able to relax a bit once school starts again and I'll have a pretty shiny to stare at during boring lectures
Wow, I can see you must be burnt out! Hang in there till fall comes and enjoy the break!
My husband also works 60 hours a week, but really physical labour and at one job. Plus because he is such a great guy with a kind heart, he gets asked to do muscle work for people quite often on his weekends "off" (moving house, fixing things, yard work, etc.) I know he gets burned out. It's frustrating for me (as maybe is for your finace) as I have energy at the end of the day and want to go for a walk with him, or do something together, but he's just drained.
Perhaps you could talk with you finance, see how he feels about the situation. Is there anywhere you could cut back? Could he pick up some slack (not saying he's slacking) in his hours off so then you have time together to chill? You're saving up for some things. Could you do it at a tad slower rate? Are there any other unnecessary expenses you could cut out? Could your finace take the lead on looking for an apartment? You said mom and dad are wealthy...are they willing to help out? (If that's comfortable for you)
Last edited by Linkovicha; 06-23-2012 at 09:43 PM.
I don't want help from my mom or dad, that's not an option.
Fiance's doing the apartment thing and he's taken on more hours. Is coming month I'm dropping one of my jobs from 100 hours per month to 80,so it should be better.
We've decided to add a little spending money to our budget to allow for some fun during summer. Sure we might save $500 less an er planned but it'll allow for some much needed relaxation
Sorry to read that you are stressed out, but I am kinda harsh when people are in a bad situation that they CHOSE for themselves. Fix it or don't complain :P.
Sorry, it sounds mean but that's my life philosophy. So many people make their own lives **** and don't realise they have the means to fix it themselves. You want luxuries and it's costing you something now, if to you this is worth it - then hold onto that thought and don't feel bad. If you do feel bad then ask yourself - shouldn't I change it?
There are a lot of things in life that people have no control over, a lot of bad stuff happens. Life is never an endless walk in the park - but when the detour is of your own making, you just fix it.
Tired and miserable /rant
