3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 20-Somethings

Keeping it Quiet?

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-05-2012, 02:37 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
JoseLo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: North East England
Posts: 302

S/C/G: 406/394/200

Height: 5"7

Default Keeping it Quiet?

Oh wow, has anyone found themself being secretive about the fact the y are trying to lose weight? I never much thought about it, but someone I spend a lot of time with (we work together and see each other socially). I guess she noticed that the last few weeks i haven't been getting fast food and such like and lunch break, and have been wither buying healthy lunch or even making something at home. Also no more bringing in packets of biscuits to amuse me during the day!

She asked if I trying to lose weight, but I surprised myself by getting all edgy, and I said not really, and mumbled something about not being very hungry with the warm weather. I felt like I didn't want her to know, even though she is a good friend!

I was thinking why and I think it is two reasons. One, if people know, they will also know if I fail. I might have to answer questions about why I am off the wagon if they catch me! Also I find it a bit embarrassing and uncomfortable talking about weight and diets with people. I get all edgy if people start talking about their weightloss eforts etc. I know I joined a whole forum to talk about this, but it is different in the flesh around people I know. I suppose also I don't really want my friends to know I am troubled by my weight or whatever.

What have other people's experiences been?
xxx
JoseLo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 02:53 PM   #2
PCOS/IR/Hypothyroid
 
astrophe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,778

Height: 5'8"

Default

I just keep it to myself because I don't need to explain or justify anything to anyone. I don't want to hear well meant advice or strange fad diet stuff. I have been at this since 1998, and I have no cure, and will be at it fighting it forever. So... yah. Not really wanting to make it MORE of my life than it already is.

If anyone asks why the changes I just gloss over it by mentioning my doc wants me to watch cholesterol or that I'm prediabetic. (All true, well known enough to be "boring" so I get left alone.)

But I don't mention the rest of my issues -- hypothyroid, PCOS, syndrome X, etc.

PCOS makes me a chronic patient -- that part will never end. There is only management. Every single freakin' day -- and whatever makes that easier I will go for. So that includes keeping people in the dark so they aren't on my back. Those that need to know? Do.

A.
__________________
Started Jan 2014:

Last edited by astrophe : 06-05-2012 at 02:55 PM.
astrophe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 03:01 PM   #3
Leveling Up
 
sontaikle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 3,658

S/C/G: 200+/115/115

Height: 5'3"

Default

I kept it to myself for as long as I could. I wasn't sure if I would succeed and I really didn't want everyone trying to give me advice or tell me I didn't need to lose weight.

After a while I couldn't really deny it anymore. For a while I would say: "oh no, I haven't lost anything really" or "I don't know, maybe" but after I hit the 20lb mark I couldn't really deny it any longer.
sontaikle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 03:09 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
surfergirl2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 693

S/C/G: 164/--/--

Height: 5'7"

Default

Yep, i lie about it...if i've lost 15 pounds and someone comments on it, i'll shrug it off and say "oh yeah i've lost a few pounds" and pretend i didn't lose that much. Mostly because of the huge fear of gaining it back. The sad thing is, i don't even tell people i lost weight until i've pretty much gained it back. Then i'll be like "oh yeah i USED to be thin and look good, but then i gained a bunch of weight."
__________________
Trying Intuitive Eating! Want to be happier and have a healthy relationship with food
surfergirl2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 03:11 PM   #5
Sue
 
mahtha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: MA
Posts: 376

S/C/G: 225/185/155

Height: 5'7"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sontaikle View Post
I kept it to myself for as long as I could. I wasn't sure if I would succeed and I really didn't want everyone trying to give me advice or tell me I didn't need to lose weight.
Yup, this^ At about 25 pounds it became hard to hide so now I'm ready to push play on the tape recorder. "Nothing special, really. Just simple math - calories is, calories out."

Nobody felt the need to talk about my weight before, I'm not sure why it's become fair game now.
__________________
Restart 2/1/2012
mahtha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 03:13 PM   #6
Member
 
deb813's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 47

S/C/G: 178/154/135

Height: 5"4

Default

I also hate telling people. I feel like if im going to be successful just keep it to myself and get on with it. If anyone does notice in the past ive said what ive been doing and regretted it! Last few times I was discussing it with fam etc but this time I dont want them to know anything until hopefully next time I visit theyll see it themselves!
__________________


Exercise is hard. Being fat is hard. Choose your hard

Goal 1- 168 pounds- Goal Reached
Goal 2- 163 pounds Goal Reached
Goal 3- 154 pounds -Goal Reached
Goal 4- 145 pounds, normal BMI!-
deb813 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 03:14 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
Brid's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 280

S/C/G: 255/196/175

Height: 5'9

Default

I was a bit funny about admitting to trying to lose weight at first. In part because the more people knew, the more I'd feel like a failure if I wasn't successful - that reason's no longer applicable though, since I've lost enough to see that, actually, I can do this.

I also think part of why I didn't like people knowing was because it was like admitting there was something wrong with me that needed fixing. Trying to lose weight means admitting that your body isn't as it should be, and that made me feel sort of inferior.

I also didn't want my sister to know, but that's just because she lives at the other end of the country, so I don't see her often, and I wanted to surprise her when I see her in August. Unfortunately she was ordering me a jumper for my birthday when my parents were last visiting her, and she asked my dad what size I was these days, and he told her "Rather smaller, actually". Ah well, her face should still be a picture when she sees the reduced version of me!
Brid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 03:24 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
JoseLo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: North East England
Posts: 302

S/C/G: 406/394/200

Height: 5"7

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brid View Post

I also think part of why I didn't like people knowing was because it was like admitting there was something wrong with me that needed fixing. Trying to lose weight means admitting that your body isn't as it should be, and that made me feel sort of inferior.
That is exactly what I feel! Like, I don't want people to know I feel badly about my body, it feels like showing a weakness. I don't want people to know I have a problem with it, if that makes sense.

Plus as other people said, unrequested advice is something you don't always want. There are a whole load of issues there!

That said I can't WAIT to start losing weight and have people notice and compliment me!! He hee. But even then I'll probably say I've just been feeling quite healthy of late and minimise any idea that I tried particularly. Ohmygosh, as if I could lose weight without even really trying!!
xxx
JoseLo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 03:25 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
JessicaB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 182

S/C/G: 185/139/120

Height: 5'4"

Default

I've tried to keep it quiet best I can. But my family knows and people at work know, basically anyone who sees me regularly or sees me eat, as I'm eating much differently.

I've made a point though of not saying anything about what I've been eating, or about exercise on facebook, because I'm not an overly social person, and a lot of my good friends I haven't seen in months (having a toddler keeps me from having a social life). I'd like to see the reaction of at least a few different people after I reach my goal, who haven't seen me since before I started losing weight. I'm really looking forward to that, as I don't get many compliments (though about a week ago, my younger brother told me that apparently everyone has been talking about how much weight I've lost -- that was nice to hear, because no one ever says anything to ME).
__________________


JessicaB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 03:35 PM   #10
Here to Learn
 
EagleRiverDee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,116

S/C/G: 225/See Ticker/125

Height: 5'5"

Default

I, too, keep my weight loss efforts to myself. Mostly because I fear failing, and I also don't want judgmental looks or questions or whatever because I fear if say I'm trying to lose weight but then eat something maybe not so healthy that people might say "Oh, you shouldn't eat that if you want to lose weight!".

I'm willing to shout it from the rooftops when I hit a goal though!
__________________


"A mistake is not failure but feedback. -Rod Gilbert"
EagleRiverDee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 04:07 PM   #11
keep going
 
LeilaJey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,091

S/C/G: 176/ticker/140

Height: 5'6

Default

I won't bring it up unless it's called for but I generally don't say "weight loss" I say that I'm trying to be healthier. If they ask questions I'll generally answer them, but I also hate it when people say that I shouldn't eat something if I'm on a diet and I have to explain that I'm not on a diet and I can eat whatever I like. I guess that comes with the territory!
LeilaJey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 04:07 PM   #12
Senior Member
 
Domlacha's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 248

S/C/G: hw175/145/140

Height: 5'6"

Default

I usually don't tell people when I want to lose weight either. For some of the reason already mentioned like not wanting advice, being told I don't need to lose weight and the like. Part of it for me is that I always run into people saying "oh, should you be eating that, I thought you were on a diet." I really hate that statement, I think more than anything else. I personally am a calorie counter, I make sure to eat a balanced amount of protein, carbs, and fat. I eat a ton of vegetables and fruit. I also like to have peanut butter capn't crunch every now and again, or a cupcake, or ice cream, or beer/wine. I am almost always within my calorie range and don't ever feel the need to deprive myself. I know that doing so will lead to a binge for me. Also this is a life long journey, to be healthy, to eat well, and to enjoy life! I plan to have beer, pizza, ice cream and all those things in my life. I needed to learn to have them in moderation while losing weight if I expected myself to have them in moderation once I reach goal. If people ask you about what you're doing when they see the change in your eating habits, just tell them you're trying to eat healthier and experiment with new foods. It usually works for me. Have fun on your journey and stay positive!

Last edited by Domlacha : 06-05-2012 at 04:10 PM.
Domlacha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 04:13 PM   #13
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 536

S/C/G: 223/130/126

Height: 5ft 5

Default

I think I am pretty much the opposite. I don't mind people knowing, in fact I find it encouraging if they are supportive about things.

It is clear that I am overweight and I'm not going to try and kid myself that they must think otherwise. If people see that I am trying to take steps to eat more healthily and be more active, I don't mind at all.

I can understand why it might be a little worrying in terms of potential 'failure' and not wanting others to know, but if you can overcome that issue, perhaps you will see that others will no doubt support you with your weight loss.

It would be pretty hard for me to hide it from the likes of work colleagues though, they share snacks pretty much every day and I am always saying 'No, thank you' whenever I am offered anything! Plus they see me tucking into a salad almost every day for lunch haha.
__________________
1987 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 04:22 PM   #14
Senior Member
 
bargoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davis, Ca
Posts: 23,137

S/C/G: 204/114/120

Height: 5'

Default

I don't mind people knowing bu I do mind the unwanted comments so I don't tell anyone.
__________________
Goal 12/21/2007
bargoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2012, 04:30 PM   #15
Senior Member
 
Daki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 530

S/C/G: 215/201.5/155

Height: 5'6

Default

I use to keep it to myself. But this time I decided to share it with my friends and family. Then I shared with my coworkers after they started noticing my weight loss. Every other weight loss attempt I kept people in the dark and every other weight loss attempt failed. I figured maybe I'd work harder at it if I knew people were "watching" me. And it seems to have worked.

I really do hate eating lunch at work, though. I work with 30ish other women (no men in the office) and they will ask you 20 questions about everything. Is that chicken? Pork? What do you have there? Was it dinner last night? What's in it? Is it good? It smells good. OH MY GOD, PEOPLE. SHUT UP. And those are just the normal questions. You get extra questions/comments if you're on a diet. So I've taken to eating lunch at 1ish after everyone else is already done eating so I don't run into anyone in the kitchen.

One of my coworkers saw me eating buffalo wings the other week and said "OH! It's great to see you eating REAL food!" Uh, what? I told her I eat real food every day. Then she looked at me like I was an idiot when I said I can eat wings on my diet.
__________________
Emphasizing "lifestyle change" over "diet." Only recording weight on the first of each month.

Rerestarted July 23rd 2013

Last edited by Daki : 06-05-2012 at 04:34 PM.
Daki is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Slim Down Sistas: Keeping it Straight in '08 JasonsLea Support Groups 433 06-21-2008 12:06 AM
Big Brother - anyone watched it- Who are you liking or is it too early? peacock 2 UK Fat Chicks 39 08-04-2007 05:04 PM
Keeping it a Secret!!! INHTSE Weight Watchers 62 03-21-2007 01:53 AM
Lo Carb #48 Finding the motivation and keeping it 1fralick Support Groups 14 08-27-2003 06:20 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:45 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2