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I don't know how to say this nicely...

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Old 06-04-2012, 07:34 PM   #1
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Default I don't know how to say this nicely...

I was told the other day "I don't know how to say this nicely but you are looking so different. Your body shape has changed completely. (This was nice then...) You don't look fat anymore you look athletic fat."

My reply: "Thanks"

Uh, I know she was trying to be nice but really? I'm sure there was a way to say it without adding in "fat" It has made me look in the mirror and check out how far I've come since I started running though!
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Old 06-04-2012, 07:42 PM   #2
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Wow. What does that even mean?? lol I think sometimes people get uncomfortable when it comes to other's weight loss and try to be complimentary but sometimes it just comes out wrong. At least that's been my experience so far. I think you handled it well though!
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Old 06-04-2012, 08:00 PM   #3
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Sometimes the only thing to say is "thanks." You handled it well. You want to hear compliments. Ones like that get you thinking "what did ppl think/say before." I guess what can be learned here is forget them and be happy with yourself and accomplishments.
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Old 06-04-2012, 10:02 PM   #4
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Wow. Some people just don't know to how to say things properly. Instead of taking the time to think of a way to say it properly, they just blurt it out. I think I understand what she means, and it's not negative at all. For example, I had a gym teacher in college that was my size or bigger (I weighed 180 lbs). I was all flab but she was hard as a rock and literally spent most of her time working out (she taught several gym classes a day and wasn't the type of teacher to watch, she'd actually work out with you). Also, if you look at a lot of female swimmers, they are bigger in size than other female athletes but they are athletic nonetheless.



Anyway, if ever someone starts a sentence with "I don't know how to say this nicely...", I now know to just interrupt them!
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Old 06-04-2012, 10:30 PM   #5
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I knew she was trying to be nice but I was just in shock that she didn't just leave it at the fact that she thought I had changed my body type.
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Old 06-05-2012, 12:27 AM   #6
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Sometimes people start talking and then don't know when to stop. On the positive side, yay for being athletic! Even if compliments don't really come out the way the person probably intended, it's still nice to get them!
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Old 06-05-2012, 01:08 PM   #7
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I guess we can just take compliments like that in the most positive way. Even though some people definitely don't think before they speak. Most people, unless they've been there, really don't know that tossing the word 'fat' around can affect someone's feelings.
On a positive note, your hard work is making a difference! That must be an amazing feeling when people begin to notice the efforts of change.
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Old 06-05-2012, 01:15 PM   #8
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What ever happened to just a plain old "you're looking great"

You handled it well!
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Old 06-05-2012, 01:21 PM   #9
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Some people can be little dense, feel proud that your weight loss hasn't gone unnoticed though!
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Old 06-05-2012, 04:48 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mammasita View Post
What ever happened to just a plain old "you're looking great"

You handled it well!
For real! "Fat" does not belong in a compliment.
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Old 06-05-2012, 04:57 PM   #11
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After sticking my foot in my mouth for a number of years off and on, I just say- "You look great!". People tend to respond to that well no matter what. And when I'm on the receiving end of a compliment (or something that was intended to be one, haha) I just say "Thanks!".
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Old 06-05-2012, 05:20 PM   #12
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Some people are just incapable of stringing a decent sentence together! I guess you just have to recognise that the intention wasn't a negative one, it was just an extremely poor choice of words.

Hooray for athletic fat though, right?!
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Old 06-05-2012, 08:37 PM   #13
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ATHLETIC FAT?? People have such a way with words. A simple "you're looking really good!" would have sufficed!
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