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Best way to describe my figure on a dating site?

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Old 02-29-2012, 10:56 PM   #31
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When I used to do online dating I would always say Curvy. It can mean so many things and summed me up, and you as well, without sounding negative.
Clearly those choices are written by someone without a weight issue and I don't even really know why they are there, since most people don't even know or want to give a one word response to how they judge themselves.
Imagine they also said Are You:
Ugly
Cute
Awkward
Hideous
Beautiful
Trashy
etc etc...

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Old 03-10-2012, 03:00 AM   #32
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MusicalAstronaut, you look so great!

And I think that ade903 had some good advice for online dating, not over-the-top at all. I would add that you should videochat/Skype before meeting in person. That way, you know what he actually looks like, and you also know that he will be comfortable with how you look, too. I'm not saying that you have a reason to be uncomfortable! But I think that we all would be nervous. I know I was when I met my boyfriend in person for the first time!

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Originally Posted by MeganMary View Post
When I used to do online dating I would always say Curvy. It can mean so many things and summed me up, and you as well, without sounding negative.
Clearly those choices are written by someone without a weight issue and I don't even really know why they are there, since most people don't even know or want to give a one word response to how they judge themselves.
Imagine they also said Are You:
Ugly
Cute
Awkward
Hideous
Beautiful
Trashy
etc etc...

I never thought about it like that before. When you say it like that, it seems absurd.
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Old 03-10-2012, 11:21 AM   #33
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that picture doesn't tell me anything, actually (except that i love your taste in clothing).

you look just fine to me - i'd just go with "healthy" or "average" or "curvaceous" or if you have it, just say it: "hourglass figure".

guys who are into hourglass figures are not looking for Twiggie.
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Old 03-11-2012, 06:32 AM   #34
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id definitley say you where in the normal range ... maybe id even say curvy ... i wouldent have guessed you where in your 180's you look more higher 160's to me !

try plenty of fish .... i met the love of my life there .... theres a ton of people on it so all you have to do is sit back let the messages roll in and awnser to just the ones you like ... let them come to you!

im old fashioned ..... i think its a mans job to approach me if hes intrested and its up to me to return the intrest or not ( not that theres anything wrong with the other way around ) .....
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Old 03-11-2012, 12:07 PM   #35
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I know I am not a 20-something chick but.....

After gaining weight and then getting a divorce, I was not real sure if I could find someone that would like me.....not my body. Not to mention I live in a rural area and no good place to go meet someone. Plus I am not into the bar crowd.

I had a co-worker tell me she was meeting men all over the place on dating sites, so I had to try. She is way more curvy than I, so I felt if she could do it so could I.

I paid for sites and used free sites. I had freaks (oh yeah real freaks) message me. I had guys that messaged me in a nice way but then turned freak on the phone. I had guys that passed all the way up to the meeting and then turned freak. And even if they were not freakish, they could only talk about their awful ex-wife. (Really??) All this time I had developed a friendship with a guy I had met online. I just didn't think he was really interested in me. Boy was I wrong. He is not local to me so our relationship is mostly on the phone. (Made us really learn each other) I have spent 6 weeks with him last summer. And now I am planning to move in with him.

I guess the point I am trying to make is that there is lots to be weeded through but it is easily done. And don't count out anyone.
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Old 03-11-2012, 01:41 PM   #36
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Ade903, i just stumbled across this thread and your post is AMAZING, i'm sure that'll help a lot of people!
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Old 03-11-2012, 10:28 PM   #37
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I went with "average" and so far the dates I've been on haven't said anything about it. I posted a few pictures on there that I think look good but also honestly show my shape, so hopefully that helps. Next question!

Second dates. So far I have two lined up (wow! Never would have expected that!). How should I dress for these? One we're meeting at a sports bar to hang out/watch a hockey game. I have a feeling we may bail and get dinner or something, though. We couldn't meet on a day when there was a game we were both interested in watching. Since we're meeting at a sports bar I don't want to be too dressed up, but I also want to look cuter than I did on the first date. That time I was in my work clothes because I came straight from work. I was thinking maybe a casual dress, if the weather cooperates. Thoughts?
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Old 03-11-2012, 10:32 PM   #38
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I'd say average.

Good luck with the online dating thing! I met my fiance through one!
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Old 03-11-2012, 10:41 PM   #39
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Quote:
I was thinking maybe a casual dress, if the weather cooperates. Thoughts?
Sounds good...just make sure is simple, maybe something thats a solid color, especially for a sportsbar Good luck
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Old 03-11-2012, 11:17 PM   #40
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average definitely...i think curvy might imply a heavier person?

btw, lovin the lab bench and sigma bottles in the background. hello from a fellow scientist!
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Old 03-12-2012, 04:18 AM   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baker23 View Post
Sounds good...just make sure is simple, maybe something thats a solid color, especially for a sportsbar Good luck
i second this.
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Old 03-12-2012, 10:12 AM   #42
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i'm one of those who can decorate anybody or anything except myself or my house, lol.

for my money, i'd dress for the second date in stylish colour blocks - blue plain dressy-cut t-shirt and black slacks with low-heeled black pumps, ie - and use the hair and accessories to express your personality.

you can twist it so many different ways using that method - ie, spike up your hair, use a "girl power" hairband (something with a big flower or neon colour print); do your hair in a french braid with flowers and beads twisted in; big chunky jewellry or slim-n-classic, etc.

less strain on the brain and if you do bail and head out for dinner, it's a quick whip off with the funky hairband and on with a nice scarf and you're set.
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Old 03-12-2012, 05:50 PM   #43
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Okay, so I have recently become the "queen" among my people of online dating. I've used eHarmony, Match, PlentyofFish, OkCupid, and Craigslist (yeah...I said it...). I did not like eHarmony at all. It kept matching me with guys that were way shorter than me or way into sports. The height isn't that big of a deal, but I'm a tall girl and not into someone that is 5'2". I remember getting more "players" on Match than I expected, so I wasn't too impressed. PoF was short lived, I didn't really like how it worked. OkCupid seemed great. I met about 6 guys over the course of 5 months from OkC. We were very compatible. We had similar interests. They just all seemed to burn out. Surprisingly, I've had the most success with Craigslist. I had a 1.5 year relationship with someone I met there and I am currently in a relationship from someone I met there (Met at the beginning of December, he's been my BF since Dec 31).

So that all being said, here are some common things that I have found: *Every site, no matter what, is going to have the players. You'll get random messages with dirty/inappropriate text. Delete them. Set the person to ignore if possible. Don't sweat it.
*Don't wait around to get messaged. You will need to message quite a few people before you get a response.
*Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with and be smart if/when you meet someone. I had several rules that I followed to ensure my safety. I required that we messaged back and forth through the site quite a bit. I then moved to texting. Then I would set up a "phone date". These actually usually went very well. With the guys I met in person, I usually had already spoken with them on the phone for 10+ hours. I also make sure to get their first and last names so I could check them out on Facebook (to see if they were a "real" person). When I did meet up with them, it would be at a public and busy place. I would get two different friends the guys number, full name, and any other info that would help ICE. I usually got there early, too, so I could get their license plate (if I saw them get out of their car). So basically, be safe and be smart. Make sure someone knows where you are going. Reading it now sounds a bit over the top, but it's all about safety.

So I guess in the end, I was more impressed with CL. I urge you to be very cautious with it (I made them friend me on FB first, spoke with them on the phone several times, and I picked the place we met...oh and I brought pepper spray). But it can be a success story.

I find it funny that a lot of people are against online dating or think lesser of someone that uses it...why not? How is it any worse then meeting a random stranger at a coffee shop? They could be a murderer, too.

Good luck!
Oh, and I agree that average looks right. I put that as mine (and ummm in the US, overweight is average).


Sorry for the OT but I gotta say - I'm glad to know that I'm not the only person that does this. And if a guy has a problem with it, GOODBYE! Think about it, if a guy is really legit, and a decent person, then he shouldn't have a problem with any of this.

I had a guy act all offended when we met because I asked to see his ID, even though I had told him ahead of time that I was going to need to see it, and he'd even agreed at the time. But then when we met, he flipped out, got in his car and drove away. THEN he called me about 50 times leaving me the most hateful, vicious voicemails. I had to change my phone number. Then a few weeks later he contacted me on the same dating site with a NEW profile (because I had blocked his old one) offering to "forgive" me and give *me* a second chance! So THAT is why I insist on fully vetting someone before AND after meeting! I truly believe I would have become another statistic if I had just trusted him. I could be a lampshade right now!
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Old 03-12-2012, 06:17 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicalAstronaut View Post
I went with "average" and so far the dates I've been on haven't said anything about it. I posted a few pictures on there that I think look good but also honestly show my shape, so hopefully that helps. Next question!

Second dates. So far I have two lined up (wow! Never would have expected that!). How should I dress for these? One we're meeting at a sports bar to hang out/watch a hockey game. I have a feeling we may bail and get dinner or something, though. We couldn't meet on a day when there was a game we were both interested in watching. Since we're meeting at a sports bar I don't want to be too dressed up, but I also want to look cuter than I did on the first date. That time I was in my work clothes because I came straight from work. I was thinking maybe a casual dress, if the weather cooperates. Thoughts?

If the date is at a sports bar, then a dress is too much, IMO. Jeans and a cute top. Comfortable shoes. Sports bars are casual environments.
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Old 03-22-2012, 01:12 AM   #45
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MusicalAstronaut,

I could use your advice! I have had terrible luck with online dating. (It's just like real life dating for me. I look at/am interested in a lot of cute boys but don't talk to them.) I get lots of profile views and sent some emails, but with no replies. The very small number of emails I have gotten are from men I know I will not want to go out with. I went on one date after a few good back and forth messages and it was not too awkward (because I am comfortable with conversation), but clearly there was no attraction.

I live in a really small city, so that's part of the problem. Everyone knows everyone somehow.

Anyway, advice would be welcome. There are a few men who are repeat lurkers on my profile. One, in particular, is really cute but I don't know what to say to him in an email. He is a baseball coach and prefers a thin lady according to his profile. I know in my gut that doesn't mean anything because chemistry is what matters, but I can't seem to follow up with an email because of that.

So, the man is cute and close to my age. I am intimidated to email, though, because I figure he would have already emailed me if he wanted to since he's looked a few times. I know I'm letting self-esteem take over here by assuming he's better than me. It is my fatal dating flaw.

But what should I say in an email to him??

Thanks
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