Trouble with Ex-Fiance

[djs06]

Originally Posted by Riesz

I also forgot to mention in OP that I returned the engagement ring shortly after we bumped into each other. I knew I would never wear it in any capacity, as a ring or made into a necklace, etc and felt guilty about selling it. He emailed me soon safter, saying 'It's great, the diamond actually went up in value when I sold it!'

Remembering that is truly the last straw. Good riddance!!

OMG. I laughed out loud at how tacky that is! (And it's soooo much more likely false than true.)

[sontaikle]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet!

What do you want to bet he used the same ring to propose to his current wife?

[Jelbb]

Ha. Yeah. I'm sorry, but I've never once in a new and happy relationship felt the need to brag to an ex about how great it is, or how happy I am.

I agree with the ladies that have said that he's trying to convince himself, and he's trying to convince you that he's happy. And while it may not be in a malicious way, he's definitely hoping to have the effect that he's having on you--- that you'll be jealous/annoyed/upset.

Cut off contact, and good riddance!

And I agree with Bandit-- pretty sure diamonds stay faaairly consistent on the market over a short-term period. That's why people have diamonds appraised. They wouldn't bother if it would change drastically in a year.

[MissGuided]

It appears that this guy was truly ready to commit & marry. When it didn't work with you, he took the next best thing. Whatever his reason may have been, since we only know one side of the story, he could very well be truly happy & considering you broke it off, thought perhaps you'd be happy for him?

I agree with others, if it truly bothers you to be friends with him [which includes hearing details about his new life], then I would definitely cut ties with him.

[bandit bear]

Well, here's the thing. A lot of people are in love with the *idea* of being in love, which sounds like this guy. He proposes without discussing it with the OP first (because honestly in this day and age, a couple talks about getting married before one of them proposes).

I had a friend who was in the same boat. All she wanted was to be married. But it was more of the idea of it, so she married the first guy who wasn't her HS boyfriend, and lo and behold, he turned out to be a complete @sshole, and she had a kid with him. And now they're divorced.

People don't brag *that* much if they're really truly happy. Especially to an ex. To an ex they were engaged to. Less than a year ago. He's validating his decision and wants her to approve so he can feel better about his decision (because I bet he's thinking WTF did I do?). It's like those skinny girls who complain about how fat they are. They're looking for validation that they are, indeed, not fat and are thin.

[MrsDeenz]

Originally Posted by Quiet Ballerina

Honestly?
My first thought was that he is trying to show you/prove to you just how "happy" he is....and it sounds like he's full of baloney.

Agree. He's bragging about his relationship to make you jealous. If he were truly blissfully happy (1) he wouldn't feel the need to brag to you about it, and (2) I don't think he'd be spending his time emailing an ex-fiancee (btw, wonder what the new wife has to say about this since they're sooooo happy) about how happy he is.

If I were you, I'd send him an email saying "I'm happy you're happy," and cut it off at that. Let him find someone else to gush to about his wedded bliss.

Also wanted to say congratulations on dodging that bullet and listening to your gut. The fact that he got engaged/married so soon after breaking off an engagement with you makes it sound like he's more in love with the idea of marriage than the idea of marrying for love. He'll figure that one out soon enough.

[Riestrella]

I think when you go being engaged to one person to then pretty much jumping to the next it shows he has some issues. It's like he needs that official tie to make his life feel complete, when really it might not all be what he's boasting about.

I'm a b!tch so I would start gushing about my partner if he wanted to play that little game =). But perhaps the more sensible thing to do is just ignore it and then respond to him when he's interested in what you're doing - not using you as some prop to make himself feel better.

[MzMoMo]

He is full of you know what! If he was so happy the last thing on his mind would be emailing you....