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Old 12-01-2011, 11:58 PM   #1  
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Default A year in and I'm discouraged.

I recommitted to weight loss early this year after losing my first 15lbs the year before. But even after calorie counting and exercising 3-5 times a week for a year, I'm not used to it. 1200-1400 calories of chicken, veggies and whole grains still leaves me hungry nearly every day - isn't your stomach suppose to shrink?! Instead of getting addicted to exercise like so many people claim, I feel better, less stressed, on the days when I don't go to the gym because I have 2-3 hours of my day to get all the other things on my to-do list done.

I feel like my plan isn't as strenuous as so many that I see people sticking to on here, but I still can't stick to it. I've been good about getting back on plan after right after falling off, but I still set back my progress 2 weeks every time I do. I feel like maybe I need to step up my plan to make up for the hiccups and achieve 2lbs a week instead of a month but I can't see a way to do that wouldn't involve me living like a monk for the next year doing nothing but going to the gym and eating carrots.

Furthermore, I don't feel like I look that different 2 years/nearly 40lbs ago. I can't believe I've lost that many pounds and still look so fat! It's hard to stay motivated when even after all this work and misery, I still don't like what I see in the mirror.

I really just want to give up, but I know that it's an unproductive thought that I should try to ignore. So I'm on here instead asking for help. How do you stay motivated when you're not seeing the results you want? How can I stay on track when I'm hungry and unhappy?
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Old 12-02-2011, 02:16 AM   #2  
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I may not be an expert but the amount of calories you take in may not be enough because you are working out 3-5 times a week.
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Old 12-02-2011, 02:31 AM   #3  
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Originally Posted by ald41085 View Post
I recommitted to weight loss early this year after losing my first 15lbs the year before. But even after calorie counting and exercising 3-5 times a week for a year, I'm not used to it. 1200-1400 calories of chicken, veggies and whole grains still leaves me hungry nearly every day - isn't your stomach suppose to shrink?!
You might not be eating enough! Alternatively, it could be that the quantity of calories you're eating is fine, but perhaps your body needs fewer carbs and more protein + fiber. Some days 1200 is fine for me, sometimes I crave more, and it's largely based on how much fiber I get. Large quantities of low-calorie vegetables fill me up than the 1 oz of cheese... though they are the same calories.


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Instead of getting addicted to exercise like so many people claim, I feel better, less stressed, on the days when I don't go to the gym because I have 2-3 hours of my day to get all the other things on my to-do list done.
Are you going to the gym 2-3 hours a day? I can almost definitely say that's too much. The gym (or exercise in general, which can include walking or light yoga at home) shouldn't stress you out. Maybe you should modify your exercise so that it is something you look forward to rather than something that stresses you out. As a bonus you'll still have extra time to get the things done you need to get done.

I wouldn't really aim to get "addicted" to exercise. To be honest, it worries me a bit when people on 3FC say they are addicted to exercise. A healthy love or passion for it is fine, but addicted is not a healthy relationship.

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I feel like my plan isn't as strenuous as so many that I see people sticking to on here, but I still can't stick to it. I've been good about getting back on plan after right after falling off, but I still set back my progress 2 weeks every time I do. I feel like maybe I need to step up my plan to make up for the hiccups and achieve 2lbs a week instead of a month but I can't see a way to do that wouldn't involve me living like a monk for the next year doing nothing but going to the gym and eating carrots.
It's not about what other people are doing, it's about what works for you. There is nothing different behavior-wise from weight loss to maintenance- ask any maintainer. Thus weight loss should be a method you can stick to for the rest of your life.

Why do you need to achieve 2 lbs per week? Is it better to lose the weight quickly and be miserable and stressed every single day, then not have any clue how to maintain when you do get to your goal because you just can't stick to such a rigid plan for one more day? And then gain some of it back?

You don't seem happy right now, and you deserve to find a balance that will make you happy. Weight loss does not bring happiness.

I think better than a numerical goal is having our goals be behavior based. I have successfully learned to eat proper portions, maintain my weight, and consume appropriate nutrition. I have cut out almost all processed foods and reduced my dependency on carbs and sugar. I have made a lifestyle change I can stick with. To me that's the best "goal" I can imagine.

You've made AMAZING strides. Aren't you happier at your weight now than a year ago? Aren't you so glad you are here and not there?

I'm not saying it's easy- I was complaining recently about my body being stuck and wanting to lose 5 more lbs. And to be honest, I still do. But I'm working on refocusing my goals towards proper eating behavior and balance in my life. I bet if you do the same the weight will continue to peel off.... and you'll be MUCH happier in the process.

Good luck!
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Old 12-02-2011, 03:13 AM   #4  
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I can relate. I never had hunger issues till recently (154-156 pounds) and I switched from 3 main meals + 1 snack to 3 slightly smaller meals + 3 snacks. It really helped me, especially as I get full quick and lose interest in eating, so I enjoy this way more.

I've lost 35 pounds and while I notice it in some areas, the one area I wish would show it really hasn't (my tummy) and as someone with naturally large breasts, it is harder for others to see losses on top.

I don't exercise as strenuously as others, exercise isn't a real passion of mine. I like it well enough but I'm never like "Hooray time to work out!".

I also struggle with only losing about a pound a week when others complain when they only lose that much. I've learned this is my body, and there's nothing wrong with a pound a week loss.

Today was hard for me, because I got on the scale and I was expecting a drop but nothing. But I told myself, even if it doesn't feel like it, I am healthier today for not giving in. Even if I see 156.2 tomorrow (again), I am better for filling myself with healthy foods.
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Old 12-02-2011, 09:17 AM   #5  
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Just to clarify, I'm not working out 2-3 hours - that includes the get to the gym, change, workout for 45min - 1.5 hrs, change, get home. Unfortunately, I live in an area of NYC with no good gym nearby so I go to one that's equidistant from work and home - about 20 minutes each way.

I feel like the "Maybe I'm not eating enough for my workout" thing isn't true because on weeks when i fall off the wagon a bit, wouldn't that up my calorie count? I gain then, not lose.

And my lifestyle was never not that healthy - honestly. I walk a lot (nearly 8000 steps a day without going near the gym) because I live in the city and I've always eaten a lot of vegetables and lean protein. The problem was beer and drunken diner nights in college which I've mostly stopped since graduating 3 years ago and a post-graduation depression that I recovered from that put on the weight . But the weight won't come off!

I'm happy in most areas of my life except my weight, so yes, I do expect weight loss to make me happy(er). Adopting a healthier lifestyle is a benefit, yes, but my health has always been fine so what I really want look better, to be able to walk into a store and try on a cute dress and buy it instead of having to order plus size petites on line. The benefits I can't see don't mean much when I feel awful looking in the mirror.

Thank you all for your comments. It's nice to hear kind words even though it doesn't really solve my problem.
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Old 12-02-2011, 09:25 AM   #6  
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well i started out losing almost .8 to a 1lb a day at 255.
no at 214.8 im losing .2 to .4 a day after not losing for a few days. so i think everyone weightlos kind of slows. On the thread I do my daily weigh in alot of peoples goals is literally to lose 2-3 in a month and i got on saying 6-10 now im like hmmm i losing slower to now. i think if you just stick to plan you should be good. and honestly for me knowing were all in the same boat with different designs (details) makes me feel alot better.

If you need inspiration dont be afraid to read goal stories and mini goals. Or the support forum is great to! and of course always make threads like this for inspiration. Your doing great darling keep it up!

i just came out of a 7 week on plan off plan pattern. I know its hard but we can do this if we choose it!
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Old 12-02-2011, 09:29 AM   #7  
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also i wanted to say for the last 4month i havent worked out because its to difficult to keep up with work/school/ and gym

so i decided i just wont be working out during the semester. technically i get excercize through walking on campust but really not much. so you can still lose if its just your diet you change. : )


You can do it lovely! If i can?!? You can!!!

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Old 12-02-2011, 02:20 PM   #8  
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It may sound odd, but I've read and heard that stress, anxiety and depression can slow weight loss. I know it sounds silly and isn't as simple as turning on a switch to be happy and satisfied but maybe you should try to find some way to not be so stressed out (and possibly depressed) about this. Keep with a reasonable routine where you're eating less calories than you burn, exercise or not, and the weight will come off over time. Meanwhile, be satisfied knowing you're living a healthy, maintainable lifestyle you'd enjoy the rest of your life. It's really up to you to figure out what that lifestyle is and to be honest with yourself about how much is too much, how strict is too strict, etc.
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Old 12-02-2011, 04:35 PM   #9  
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Originally Posted by ald41085 View Post
I recommitted to weight loss early this year after losing my first 15lbs the year before. But even after calorie counting and exercising 3-5 times a week for a year, I'm not used to it. 1200-1400 calories of chicken, veggies and whole grains still leaves me hungry nearly every day - isn't your stomach suppose to shrink?!
I also think you might want to consider upping your calories and/or playing around with the relative amounts of carbs, protein, and fat you're eating. Also, are you eating the same things over and over again, or do you have a varied diet? I know that if I ate chicken for a year I'd be pretty darn hungry too - just for a change. Also, are you getting enough fluids? Just playing around with the calorie calculators on the web (and not knowing your age or how much strenuous activity you do), it looks like you might be able to eat a few hundred more calories a day and lose. Would it hurt to try? After all, if you start to regain (after giving your body a little bit of time to adjust), then you can just cut down on your caloric intake again.



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Originally Posted by ald41085 View Post
Instead of getting addicted to exercise like so many people claim, I feel better, less stressed, on the days when I don't go to the gym because I have 2-3 hours of my day to get all the other things on my to-do list done.
Well, some people never do really come to enjoy exercise. Or you might not have found the activities that best suit you yet. Or you might be undereating. Are there other things on your to-do list that you could cut out, at least temporarily, without throwing your life into chaos? Like indiblue asked, is there anything you could do at home like yoga or simple dumbbell exercises? Also, exercise isn't mandatory - I've heard of several people who have lost significant amounts of weight using diet alone. If you're staying active and eating the right amounts of the right things, you'll probably continue to lose weight.

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I feel like my plan isn't as strenuous as so many that I see people sticking to on here, but I still can't stick to it.
Why care about what other people are doing? Their needs are different and their lives are different. And for all we know, they could be doing things the hard way. Do what works for you.

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Originally Posted by ald41085 View Post
I've been good about getting back on plan after right after falling off, but I still set back my progress 2 weeks every time I do.
You've been good at getting back on plan - GOOD JOB! Setting yourself back two weeks (however that works) isn't as bad as setting yourself back two months (or years or decades).

Quote:
Originally Posted by ald41085 View Post
I feel like maybe I need to step up my plan to make up for the hiccups and achieve 2lbs a week instead of a month but I can't see a way to do that wouldn't involve me living like a monk for the next year doing nothing but going to the gym and eating carrots.
Why do you need to lose two pounds a week? Losing two pounds a month is still losing (and is actually the maximum amount that my doc recommends). If you don't need to try to lose two pounds a week and it would make you miserable to try, then why do it?

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Furthermore, I don't feel like I look that different 2 years/nearly 40lbs ago. I can't believe I've lost that many pounds and still look so fat!
Well, you might or might not look different, and it's understandable to be disappointed that you still look the same to yourself when you're losing to look different. But if you keep losing (even at a rate of 2 lbs/mo.), eventually your body will start to noticeably change. Also, instead of dwelling on what you haven't accomplished (yet), think about how much you have accomplished. You're forty pounds down! That's almost 17.5% of your starting weight. It's also that much less stress on your joints and cardiovascular system. Your health might be okay now, but taking that excess weight off is probably saving you some pain and discomfort (and medical expenses) down the road. Are you able to wear smaller clothes? Can you do anything more comfortably or more quickly than you could before?

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It's hard to stay motivated when even after all this work and misery, I still don't like what I see in the mirror.
So quit looking in the mirror. Why are you losing weight? To look thin? Okay. You eventually will, if you keep doing what you're doing. If you quit because you're unmotivated, you'll continue to look like you do now or you did when you were heavier. Also - why are you miserable?

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Originally Posted by ald41085 View Post
I really just want to give up, but I know that it's an unproductive thought that I should try to ignore. So I'm on here instead asking for help. How do you stay motivated when you're not seeing the results you want? How can I stay on track when I'm hungry and unhappy?
Motivation isn't really that important. It's actions that are important. How can you act in a way that will help you lose weight when your expectations for yourself aren't being met and you're hungry and unhappy?

1. Change your expectations to match reality.
2. Figure out why you're so hungry that it's bothersome. Make appropriate changes. You might have to play around with this a bit.
3. Figure out why you're so unhappy. Make appropriate changes. You might also have to play around with this some.

Last edited by theox; 12-02-2011 at 04:39 PM.
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