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Old 09-18-2011, 07:31 PM   #1
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Thumbs down RANT-Friends who "try" to help

Granted I know I do this to myself but I can't help but get annoyed with my friends. I post on facebook my updates and such. and I always ask for people who want to go grocery shopping, work out, etc. and I usually get my normal friends who are going through the same things I'm going through. I'm 22, married, with a handsome son. I wouldn't change a damn thing! (except my weight ) anyways, I posted a status asking people to help me be held accountable! (even though i'd rather come on here) But if my friends know that i'm trying .to lose weight maybe they will make a little bit of an effort to help. They complain about me not wanting to go shopping, out to eat, etc so I figured I'd try to post stuff. Well After I post it I immediately get hits from my going through the same stuff friends. Then I get some from friends from high school.. who don't understand. Well I get like 10 hits saying "I dont acutally need to lose weight or anything, but maybe 5 pounds. I'd love to get back into those 00 jeans! heheh" Okay like this is suppose to help me?!?!? Or "Well I did just have my baby last week I need to lose this baby fat FAST. I heard if you don't lose it within 6 months its on forever LOL" Well I gained weight because I was pregnant. I am this big because I was pregnant. That doesnt help me at all!


How do you deal with people who don't understand that your weight effects your mood, personality, everything?? I need help. I know I can't just expect a "magic pill" I need to work. I need that support.. ugh

Thanks for reading!
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Last edited by Andrbeck; 09-18-2011 at 07:31 PM.
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Old 09-18-2011, 08:44 PM   #2
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I would deal with it by not putting all my business on facebook. Weight loss is way too sensitive and personal a topic and EVERYONE has an opinion. No way would I open myself up to that.
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Old 09-18-2011, 08:51 PM   #3
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I agree. I don't think it's a good idea to put it out there for everyone. Maybe you could just make a closed group on Facebook with your friends that are in the same boat and post your weight loss updates/questions there.
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Old 09-18-2011, 08:56 PM   #4
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Don't talk to them about weight loss.

Good people to turn to for weight loss support:

3FC (hi there!)
People involved in other weight loss programs/support groups (WW, TOPS, OA, etc.).
People IRL who you know will understand, if there are any.

Talk to your FB friends about other stuff in your life, but don't expect support for weight loss from the peanut gallery.
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Old 09-18-2011, 09:01 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 98DaysOfSummer View Post
I would deal with it by not putting all my business on facebook. Weight loss is way too sensitive and personal a topic and EVERYONE has an opinion. No way would I open myself up to that.
I completely agree. For me, my weight loss is a subject for WW meetings, 3FC musings, and conversations with the close friends that I *choose* to talk about it with.

For the friends that are giving you a hard time about not wanting to go out, you can try having some one on one conversations with them and remind them that you're trying to make a change so you can be around for that handsome son of yours. I also like to provide alternatives. Your friend proposes going out to lunch, you say "Oh why don't you come over? I've got this great [on plan food]" . Or propose a trip to the park, etc.
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Old 09-18-2011, 09:36 PM   #6
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I agree don't talk to them about weight loss. I keep my journey fairly private (well, except on here! ) because I just don't feel like I need the comments from people who have not really BTDT.

Wow, and that comment about having to lose the baby weight in 6 months, all I have to say to that is . I gained 65lbs with DD and now almost 3 years later I'm only 5lbs away from my prepregnancy weight. It certainly took me awhile but I'm almost there and I plan to go a lot farther!
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Old 09-18-2011, 10:59 PM   #7
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I agree with not posting that stuff on Facebook. I am semi private with my weight loss journey because it is a very sensitive subject for me and very personal. If I lose weight.. I might post "Lost 15 lbs so far.yay" or something along those lines, but other than that.. nothing.. Everyone has opinions/comments..and everyone feels that we want to hear them for some reason. I am so glad I found this board for that reason. So glad I have found like minded people. Good Luck on your journey
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Old 09-18-2011, 11:25 PM   #8
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I acctually leave everything about my weight loss off of facebook.
When people comment on new photos asking if I lost weight or that I look great I'm thankful and tell them yes but I don't post about it.
It just helps my feelings I'd rather not hear comments and comparison and such!
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Old 09-19-2011, 06:15 AM   #9
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I think we've all collectively agreed on: don't post up that stuff on facebook. As much as I'd love to let all my friends know I've lost 21 lbs, I keep it to myself and share it with my closest friends in person.

This is a very personal time for all of us, and 3fc is our little pit of haven on the internet for support! Come pop into the monthly chat thread if you want to share your day to day rants or be held accountable!
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Old 09-19-2011, 06:29 AM   #10
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Afraid I'm on the "FB friends DO NOT know the REAL me!" boat.
I never ever ever post weight-related subjects on FB.
I may post an upcoming race (runners), but that's really it.
My friends have NO CLUE I weigh everyday, have been at a 3 month plateau, come on 3FC, or am more dedicated to MFP than I am any other aspect of my life atm!
It's just frankly none of their business! Besides, 1/2 of my friends weigh less than me, 1/4 more than me, and 1/4 about the same as me and NONE of them would get it!
Why set myself up for failure?
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Old 09-19-2011, 08:57 AM   #11
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Like others have mentioned, limit what you put on FB about your weight loss. Some people may never understand and some don't want you to lose weight because theymdont want to be the fat one. No one knows about my weight loss journey/program except my close friends. My family doesn't even know because they are very judgmental. If I do want to let someone know something I post directly on their wall and not my FB status for everyone to see.
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Old 09-19-2011, 09:12 AM   #12
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I also don't post that stuff on FB. However even with your real life friends in person... ask a vague thing, expect all kinds of attempts at "answers." People try... you asked... can't fuss too much if it isn't what you want exactly. Ask more exactly and see if that helps better with the replies.

For example...

"I need some support about gardening!"

And here it comes -- all kinds of things, maybe not even related to what I want as constructive feedback. Tractor info, stuff about roses, deer eating things.

It is different to go

"I am in Zone 9 doing an organic veggie patch with a small kid in square foot gardening style covering a small 32 sq feet. It's in the small backyard, and we live in a city. We have bug type problems, but no animals. Suggestions welcome."

Then people ought to know telling me about tractors is pointless. I'm not on a farm.

Roses are out, because I don't eat those.

There isn't deer here, so thank but no thanks on the deer management info.

And if I have a little kid helping me, we want to keep it in the kid friendly area, so I don't need to get complex with grafting lemon trees to make them seedless.

Oh, thanks! I didn't know that kid tools are on sale at Kid Store this week! What? You make soapy water spray for most of the bugs with Dr Bronner? Cool.

Don't give up on the fitness thing -- you are doing it! Just consider how you phrase things so YOU get what you need out of it.

GL!
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Old 09-19-2011, 09:14 AM   #13
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Thanks everyone! I try to be friends with people on facebook I acutally talk to/ see / interact with on daily occasions. And I was just so excited. But I will no longer post stuff on there. I will keep it all to myself.. and you guys Thanks everyone.
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Old 09-19-2011, 12:48 PM   #14
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It's ok to be yourself on Facebook just remember that not everyone shares the same... So think about your audience when you share stuff on Facebook... I think another poster talked about that... I like posting more about health on there rather than the weight loss itself.
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