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Old 09-09-2011, 01:45 PM   #1
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Default Weight Gain--Bad :(

Hi all,

I used to post on these forums all the time, and then I decided to stop because I thought I was getting obbssessed. I recently finished my first half marathon, and I was looking at the pictures of me running, and I look like such a big girl. It makes me so sad because I was really starting to feel good about my body, and now, I am starting to feel really bad.

I don't know what to do. I want to have a positive body image. I'm afraid of so many things. I don't want to weigh myself everyday because I think that will make me hate myself more. I feel like I have probably gained 15 pounds in the last few months, and I don't want to get on the scale because I am afriad of how it will make me feel.

I always like to give myself some dieting time before I decide to just jump on the scale.

some encouragement would be helpful.









How can I mess up this bad? I don't know if running a half marathon was the best thing or the worst thing I could do for myself at this point. It saddens me on a majorly deep level.

I just don't know how get a great body. I mean, I feel like I've tried everything, and when I diet, I do lose weight,

I just can't do this anymore. When can I finally feel good about myself? I try really hard to put energy and effort into myself, but these days, even after running my first half marathon, I feel like a gross blob.
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Old 09-09-2011, 02:12 PM   #2
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First off, I think you look SO HAPPY in those pictures. And heck, you RAN A HALF MARATHON. A lot (LOT!) of people will never ever ever be able to say that.

Secondly, if this is an ongoing problem, and you can't talk yourself out of feeling this way (and maybe a good friend can't either) you might want to get some real help, like from a doctor.

Thrid: Always remember that there is someone out there that would LOVE to look like you do right now.

Get back on the wagon for a month or two, keep going. If you lose weight and still aren't happy, I would go ask for help from a professional!

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Old 09-09-2011, 02:23 PM   #3
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I think you're the only one who can decide on the daily weighing thing. For me daily weighing=staying on plan. When i go without weighing, I inevitably go off plan. When you say you felt obsessed, what do you mean by that exactly?

Also, it is absolutely AMAZING that you ran a half marathon!!!! Seriously, congrats! However, i can understand about the let down after a major achievement. I've felt the same during certain periods of my life and have wondered why I didn't enjoy whatever specific achievement at the time. Part of it is, though, that you had something to strive for (I'm sure you did a lot of training ahead of time!) and now you feel a gap there. The simple solution is just find something new to work towards. As humans we are hard wired to continue to evolve, improve, and learn. That's why once small kids learn how to walk they're getting into everything right away so they can learn the next cool thing! Set a new goal for yourself and start working towards it.

About the pictures. Action shots are not going to make you look your thinnest, there's no way in the world that that's possible. You're using your muscles so they're retaining water, people will get pictures of you at odd angles, AND you're sweating a lot! What you should look at is your face, and the happiness that it shows! THAT is what is important. I have some photos of action shots during my running and soccer days. I looked a lot bigger in them than I actually was, so what! Take a picture of yourself when you're sitting still at a good angle and you'll see a huge difference!

ETA: You do NOT look like a huge fat girl at all in your pictures! Just in case that wasn't clear.
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:10 PM   #4
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Looking through your pictures.. I didnt see a "big girl". I saw someone happy! Someone who RAN A HALF MARATHON. That is such an amazing accomplishment.. something to be extremely proud of. I have a hard time finding a balance between obsessive and out of control... but staying positive helps SO much... ive started a journal and try to write something positive in it each day-- even if I am having a "fat day", I FORCE myself to find something good about myself. The other day I painted my nails a pretty color and thats what I had to go with that I liked.. but it was something positive ;-). I think you look great and HAPPY in your pictures. Happy people always look better than skinny miserable people... anyways I hope that you can find a way to reach your goals while remembering everything that you have accomplished so far! I try to think of being proud of something I did the day before, and something I could improve on.. trying to keep the balance. good luck and HUGS!
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Old 09-11-2011, 01:25 AM   #5
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HOLY SH*T, YOU RAN 13.1 MILES AT ONE TIME! That's awesome!

Quote:
Originally Posted by librarygirl111 View Post
When can I finally feel good about myself?
When you decide to feel good about yourself. Nobody has control over how you feel about yourself but you.

It seems like your self-esteem is pretty tied up in your body image, which might not completely match reality. And even if your body image were accurate, that still wouldn't be a good reason to hate yourself. Frankly, I'd suggest that you see a counselor to work through your negative thoughts and feelings, as well as the obsessive stuff. Jessica's idea of keeping a positive journal is pretty good, too. Staying focused on the positive can be very motivational and good for self-esteem.

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Last edited by theox; 09-11-2011 at 01:30 AM.
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Old 09-16-2011, 06:46 PM   #6
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Default thanks!

I just want to say thank you to everyone who replied to this thread, it was really hard to get on and post the bad pictures. LOL---Also, i think it's good that you all brought up that it's not really that big of deal, and this whole "big girl" complex is in my head.

As for being obsessive, I mean it's the only thing I think about if I am losing weight. I have trouble focusing on things that don't truly matter. In some ways, the obsession is what keeps me going, and in a lot of ways, i can see that you are right, there is this gap right now for me.

All that training kept propelling me to do something greater and greater. I guess that greatness still isn't over yet, and I think that my journey with my weight has been more of an emotional one.

I don't know why I have to be so hard on myself.

and LOL---yes, it's true, when you are sweating and running, it's hard to tell if that's exactly what's truly going on.

I am glad that I finished my first half marathon. It was as awesome as I hoped it would be. I think the best thing I got out of runnning a half marathon was realizing that I can reach these goals, and sometimes, these thoughts I have about the number on a scale are pretty superficial in the long run.

Sometimes, I think it might be good to go and see a professional, but I feel that if I keep running and I keep trying to take care of myself, the rest of it will fall together.

I am very obbessed with my body image, and I am working on that by trying to focus on better qualities about myself that don't include my body image. I am trying to read more books and focus on other things in my life that don't make me feel like I am not developing.

I guess it's just about making sure that I keep doing my thing, and boy can I tell you, I will!!
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GOAL: When I get to 170, I am entitled to:
A MASSAGE AT MY FAVORITE SPA
or
Haircut at my favorite salon
or
Mani/Pedi!!



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Old 09-17-2011, 09:01 PM   #7
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It's great that you're feeling more positive about your accomplishments, and that you're putting things in perspective! And it sounds like you're being very proactive about your mental and physical health, which is awesome. If you find that you're not getting where you want to be mentally, don't rule counseling out. It's not a sign of failure, and it can be a really good tool to help you mentally and emotionally when other things just aren't cutting it. Best wishes~
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Old 09-17-2011, 09:16 PM   #8
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In the one picture I can see, you look totally average to me, not too thin, not overweight.
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Old 09-19-2011, 07:53 AM   #9
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I think you look great... dont be so hard on yourself. After all, YOU JUST RAN A MARATHON!!! (I would go into cardiac arrest)

I know how you feel though. When I am not actively on the forums - or at least browsing them, my inspiration and will power tend to go out the window and I gain.


Pick yourself up and get back on track. You are beautiful. Now it is time to feel beautiful.
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Old 09-19-2011, 12:34 PM   #10
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I don't see a "big girl" either... You look great and should be SO proud of yourself! Running a half-marathon is on my goal list.
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Old 09-19-2011, 12:41 PM   #11
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The first thing I saw in these photos was the fact that you look so happy! You accomplished something great!! Hold on to the feeling that you had because there's nothing in the world like it. Keep running and no matter what you'll achieve your goals.
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