I've never been where you're at but my sister was. Back in 1999, six weeks before her scheduled wedding, she called me up in tears and said the engagement was off. No cheating was involved but they both realized that they were horribly mismatched. A lot of crying ensued over the following months as I and my entire family tried to help her through it.
Fast forward to two years later (2001) and she was engaged to a guy she worked with. They now have three beautiful daughters and have been married for 10 years.
Why am I telling you this? Because it does get better. You don't want to always be guessing if he's lying or not. You. Deserve. Better. My sister got better and you will too. Best of luck to you.
Just think of him as another 200 pounds you just lost! =]
I had a serious relationship that ended the same way. He was cheating on me with a mutual friend of ours. I didn't starve, nor did I binge, but somehow 20 pounds was lost. Now I see them around from time to time (Reno for you) and I laugh at how much weight they both have gained and how disgusting he looks to me...even with long relationships, I look back more times than not and think the same thing: "WTF WAS I THINKING?"
You'll get over this girl, and you'll look fabulous by the time you're ready to hit the single-night-life again. Think of it as trading in the old for the new (exciting adventure)! =]
I had the same thing happen to me! We lived together for 5 years and he cheated for 3 months behind my back. It was really hard at first. But you have to realize that in all honesty be happy you found out because you don't want someone like that anyways. Most likely he will just cheat on her too when the years go by. I found a great guy now and couldn't be happier. Trust me it seems like a dark place now, but you'll get through it and laugh at him later Keep your head up and keep focused at the diet!! you can do it girl!!!
Thanks guys! I actually talked to the girl today and she didn't know we were still together. He told here we had broken up a year ago. He is still trying to keep me because she said she wasnts nothing to do with him now. I haven't been able to eat and I had to leavework early because I had an anxiety attack,
I'm so sorry! My heart really goes out to you. I have been in a similar situation.
Don't punish or sabotage yourself. It's not your fault. There is nothing you could or couldn't have done to stop him. Don't undo all of your hard work because of something he did to you. The hurt I'm sure you're going through is hard enough as it is. Don't make it more difficult on yourself by turning to food as comfort. It cannot help you and it cannot make the pain go away. It also will not change what has happened.
Push forward and keep reminding yourself that you deserve to be happy! That includes your personal health!
Hey Lady, I just want to say I feel for you. It is SO hard. I recently (like a week ago exactly) broke up with my boyfriend (of 3 years) and father of my child. Even though I made the choice to leave, the pain I have been feeling for over a year now from the lack of respect, trust, and non appreciation ate me alive..I ate my way through my pregnancy too make me feel better. And as I have been finally taking the time to not only lose weight but to rebuild myself (and weight loss is part of that journey), I had to shed him also.
Right now, it seems as if there is no light at the end of the tunnel but as the days go by, the pain will subside. You have to find things that make it better or pass the time. I am still stuck in a lease with my ex so in the evenings, I have been going on long hour walks with my son to get out of the house so I don't have to deal with the pain/stress/tension, etc.
Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I know that I would want to eat myself into oblivion, but here are things I try instead when life seems awful:
Hot tea
A good book, preferably read out in public, like at the coffee shop
A manicure and pedicure
Going to museums
Watching an entire season of a favorite show
Spend time with a friend
Long, hot showers
See a movie
Clean the house top to bottom
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. :-( Things will get better and your outlook on the whole food issue seems great from your original post, just stay focused. :-)
Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I know that I would want to eat myself into oblivion, but here are things I try instead when life seems awful:
Hot tea
A good book, preferably read out in public, like at the coffee shop
A manicure and pedicure
Going to museums
Watching an entire season of a favorite show
Spend time with a friend
Long, hot showers
See a movie
Clean the house top to bottom
I hope you feel better soon. Hang in there.
I watched a LOT of seasons on Netflix during my time in a similar situation.
I also love the Cleaning tip. I strongly believe that your home is a direct reflection on how you feel about yourself/life in general. If you live in a mess...you're a mess...if your home is clean and organized, you feel accomplished, happier and ready to take on the world.
Oh man. Do not take that guy back! Don't answer his calls- be done! There is a lot of liberty in just walking away and letting him lose his dignity trying to pursue a closed door. You have the control over this, not him. Take pride in how you will not let yourself be treated that way and you KNOW you deserve better! You're young- now is the time to be picky and find the perfect partner, don't settle for some thinks-with-his-pants loser!
As an aside, I am not usually a huge Paul Simon fan, but for some reason, when my heart is broken, his songs and voice are extremely consoling.
Keep your head up- something better is coming down the pike any day now!!
So sorry to hear this what a jerk! At least now you can add to your weight loss motivation- show him what he missed out on AND snag yourself someone WAY better than him down the line!
It may not seem like it, but you really do have MUCH better things ahead! Don't worry if you feel like crap, and feel like this feeling will never go away. That's normal. Hurt as long as you need to and don't let anyone tell you, even months from now, how you SHOULD be feeling about it.
Best of luck to you.
Keep your head up and keep focused at the diet!! you can do it girl!!! 
what a jerk! At least now you can add to your weight loss motivation- show him what he missed out on AND snag yourself someone WAY better than him down the line!
