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Old 07-17-2011, 10:57 AM   #61
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I think you can look at it from a few different sides;

1. What would I wear?
Well, I definately don't feel comfortable in bikini's, but bathing suits often don't look very fashionable unless you are skinny. So I wear a bikini and a long sleaved "shirt" from linnen that's sort of a dress but isnt. It's casual and it prevents sunburn. I'm not one to go tanning. I take off the shrit when I go in the water obviously.

2. What would I prefer te see others wear?
Well, something esthetically appealing ofcourse. Preferably everybody looks like a model and has only nice parts to flaunt when they stroll along the beach. However - that's not the real world. So I hope that people cover up somewhat and I don't end up having to look at somebody's butt falling out of their swimming gear.

3. What -should- people wear?
Whatever the heck they want! There's no rules for anything. I sort of already disagree with rules about no nudity. Becaue we are way too uptight about naked bodies and fear everything is sexual. I'm not a naturist, nor would I be - but, I think it's sort of ridicuolous that we've turned into a society that's scared of the truth of naked human bodies. Like they are gonna scar you for life or something. Well, they might because we've been imprinted with all these rules about whats appropriate and all these associations with nudity that also are "evil". So yeh, if some one wants to wear near to nothing no matter their size, I say yay for them. Even though even I get uncomfortable having to see it - I dislike my own discomfort because of cultural standards more than I dislike the guts (nu pun intended) of some one refusing to live up to those standards.
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Old 07-17-2011, 03:35 PM   #62
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... I think it's sort of ridicuolous that we've turned into a society that's scared of the truth of naked human bodies. Like they are gonna scar you for life or something... I dislike my own discomfort because of cultural standards more than I dislike the guts (nu pun intended) of some one refusing to live up to those standards.
This is exactly how I feel. When my husband and I toured our local YMCA's two facilities, I nearly panicked when our guide mentioned that the saunas, steamrooms and whirlpools in the dressing rooms were "clothing optional." Thankfully the whirlpool (which I'll use more than sauna or steam) in the facility nearest our home is in the pool area, so bathing suits are required.


I think our fear of nudity is ridiculous. I remember when I worked in a children's group home (for teens with behavior problems, including violence) and the kids were only allowed to watch R movies that had been approved beforehand, and I remember the first movie that was discussed in a staff meeting and one of the senior staff said "I've seen it, and it's ok for the kids. No sex or nudity, just a lot of blood and violence!"

I objected (unaware that I was the almost the only one who felt this way). I argued that the last thing violent kids needed to see was the glorification of bloody violence, and surely that was worse than a little nudity portrayed in a gentle, loving romance scene.

I learned that mine was the minority opinion, and over and over again, the kids were allowed to watch horrific violence, but even a bit of "side boob" would get a movie vetoed.


Back on the topic of fat people's flesh exposure, I think people confuse "disapproving of fat" with "disapproving of fat people." A fat person in any kind of swim suit faces ridicule for exposing too much. A fat person having fun of any kind, faces ridicule. I think for not exhibiting enough shame about their situation. If a fat woman wears a bikini, she's obviously not sufficiently ashamed of her body, to cover it more. And even if she's covered head to toe, if she's enjoying herself in the water, there's something "just not right" about that.

For myself, it has gotten much better, and I'm not sure if it's time or region based. In central IL, you rarely saw truly obese people being active. I was usually the only person my size in the pool or gym. I was once given a free pass to a Gold's Gym, and I couldn't use it. The gym was set up in a style (with mirrors all around) so that everyone could see everyone else. Even the pool was set in the middle of the gym with glass walls, so I couldn't get over the "everyone will be looking at me" feeling - especially since the largest woman I saw in the gym during my tour, was maybe a size 8.

After I moved to Northcentral Wisconsin, I saw a lot more active people - even fat, active people. That did make a huge difference. I don't think I would have had the courage to buy and ride a bike (even if I don't have the balance to ride it very often), if I hadn't seen plenty of fat, bike-riding folk.

I think the best reason to celebrate (or at least politely ignore) the fat girl in the bikini, even the ginormously fat girl in the teeny bikini who looks like she's not even wearing any bottoms, is that it will bolster the courage of the rest of us. Not necessarily to wear a bikini, but to get in the water and be active, regardless of how you look in a swimsuit.

When I first started using the warm water therapy pool in our area, it was the first time I was truly and completely comfortable not only in the water but in the locker rooms and on the way to and from the pool - because most of the bodies were unattractive (and I felt I fell in the middle rather than on the ugly end as I do at other pools). The warm water therapy pool is uused for physical therapy and adapted exercise, so you need a doctor's referal to use the pool. As a result the bodies tended to be one or more of the following fat, wrinkled, lop-sided (even amputees), and scarred. All sorts of bodies that society says shouldn't be "shown off."

It just really irks me that the people who need the water most, are the most encouraged to stay out of it, for fear of putting their imperfect bodies on display.
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Old 07-17-2011, 03:44 PM   #63
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"Back on the topic of fat people's flesh exposure, I think people confuse "disapproving of fat" with "disapproving of fat people." A fat person in any kind of swim suit faces ridicule for exposing too much. A fat person having fun of any kind, faces ridicule. I think for not exhibiting enough shame about their situation. If a fat woman wears a bikini, she's obviously not sufficiently ashamed of her body, to cover it more. And even if she's covered head to toe, if she's enjoying herself in the water, there's something "just not right" about that."

You are so right! That's exactly it. No one should EVER treat someone badly because of what they weigh! Thank you for your posts they have really made me think!
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Old 07-18-2011, 04:32 PM   #64
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I just want to say, do we really want to live in a society where people weigh 300lbs and have massive stomachs - And that's accepted? Being healthy is important, and you dont have to be super skinny to be healthy i totally believe that.. It's ridiculous this idea that beautiful is a woman who is super skinny - that is in itself unhealthy.

Totally know what you mean by beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all women are beautiful (irrespective of their weight). But I do think we as a society need to be conscious of what is promoted as okay. Like the whole Big is Beautiful/BBW thing - umm.. actually being massively overweight and therefore unhealthy is not something to celebrate. It really really irritates me. It's not okay, and it's not what we should be passing down to the next generation. (im referring specially to the groups who think that its totally okay to be grossly overweight and do nothing about it, not about the idea of still being beautiful if you are big)

Lol - I realize that's not what you were saying and I have gone of on a bit of a tangent (Read: rant)

Personally though in terms of bikini's.. Well, i don't have a problem with it. We all should have the right to wear what we want. It kind of weirds me out when there are like hugely obese people doing it, but good on them for having the confidence i guess! But in saying that, if you have all the *essential bits* covered, then hey, it's your life, rock what you want
I'm all for healthy body weights but we all need to be accepted as people REGARDLESS of our size. I don't think we need to worry nearly as much about "fat acceptance" as we do about "fat discrimination."
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Old 07-19-2011, 01:15 AM   #65
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I'm all for healthy body weights but we all need to be accepted as people REGARDLESS of our size. I don't think we need to worry nearly as much about "fat acceptance" as we do about "fat discrimination."
Respectfully disagree... I think the amount of obese/overweight children there are at the moment (and the numbers keep rising) is far more important than people being discriminated against for being fat(which again, is unacceptable. They are both huge issues.
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Old 07-19-2011, 01:35 AM   #66
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So if they're both important issues, what do you disagree with? Why can't you agree to both, or do you think that fighting fat discrimination somehow makes it impossible to work on preventing childhood obesity (or any obesity for that matter)?

Certainly they both can be fought at the same time (even by many of the same people), and one being true doesn't make the other untrue.
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Old 07-19-2011, 02:13 AM   #67
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So if they're both important issues, what do you disagree with? Why can't you agree to both, or do you think that fighting fat discrimination somehow makes it impossible to work on preventing childhood obesity (or any obesity for that matter)?

Certainly they both can be fought at the same time (even by many of the same people), and one being true doesn't make the other untrue.
Hi

I'm disagreeing with the statement the poster made about not having to worry fat acceptance as much as discrimination.

I think they are both important Discrimination is something that exists in every area of life its not just related to overweight people. And its not okay in any shape or form.

You're absolutely right - they can be fought at the same time. I was mearly making a reference to the fact that i wouldnt agree that we have to worry about discrimination more than acceptance IF we had to pick one as being more of a "worry"

It's a good thing we are all entitled to different opinions I'm not saying anyone is wrong, just that my opinion differs to theirs, after all the whole point of this thread was about different view points
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Old 07-19-2011, 02:30 AM   #68
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I wanted to know what do you guys think about plus-sized women in barely there bathing suits?
Brave? Yes. Flattering? Probably not. I think at that point for me I may as well go to a clothing optional beach and not bother with ill fitting bikini. YKWIM? People are beautiful in all kinds of ways but ill fitting clothes are just ill fitting clothes to me.

But I agree that plus sized folks have every right to LIVE. Be active, go to beaches, workout -- anything they want to do. Including wearing any dang bikini they want.

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Old 07-19-2011, 03:24 AM   #69
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Hi

I'm disagreeing with the statement the poster made about not having to worry fat acceptance as much as discrimination.

I think they are both important Discrimination is something that exists in every area of life its not just related to overweight people. And its not okay in any shape or form.

You're absolutely right - they can be fought at the same time. I was mearly making a reference to the fact that i wouldnt agree that we have to worry about discrimination more than acceptance IF we had to pick one as being more of a "worry"

It's a good thing we are all entitled to different opinions I'm not saying anyone is wrong, just that my opinion differs to theirs, after all the whole point of this thread was about different view points


It sounded/sounds like you were agreeing and disagreeing at the same time, and I found that confusing, so I was just hoping you'd clarify what part you were agreeing with, and what part you were disagreeing with.
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Old 07-19-2011, 05:24 AM   #70
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It sounded/sounds like you were agreeing and disagreeing at the same time, and I found that confusing, so I was just hoping you'd clarify what part you were agreeing with, and what part you were disagreeing with.
Sorry you were confused

To clarify: They are both important issues. I think that if you had to choose which issue was more important, then i believe the issue of being obese being seen as acceptable is much more important than the issue of fat discrimination.

The poster said "I don't think we need to worry nearly as much about "fat acceptance" as we do about "fat discrimination." I DISAGREE (respectfully) with this.

Hope that makes more sense to you
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Old 07-19-2011, 06:25 AM   #71
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I don't love my body, but I love swimming and I definitely wish I had more of a tan so whenever I do have a chance to laze around by the sea or a pool I wear a bikini. No, I don't look as good as some other girls, but I'm too busy having fun to care! I don't think it's inappropriate or a show of "bravery", it just is what it is.
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Old 07-19-2011, 11:27 PM   #72
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I just want to say, do we really want to live in a society where people weigh 300lbs and have massive stomachs - And that's accepted? Being healthy is important, and you dont have to be super skinny to be healthy i totally believe that.. It's ridiculous this idea that beautiful is a woman who is super skinny - that is in itself unhealthy.

Totally know what you mean by beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all women are beautiful (irrespective of their weight). But I do think we as a society need to be conscious of what is promoted as okay. Like the whole Big is Beautiful/BBW thing - umm.. actually being massively overweight and therefore unhealthy is not something to celebrate. It really really irritates me. It's not okay, and it's not what we should be passing down to the next generation. (im referring specially to the groups who think that its totally okay to be grossly overweight and do nothing about it, not about the idea of still being beautiful if you are big)
I couldnt agree with you more...
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Old 07-20-2011, 12:48 AM   #73
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I just want to say, do we really want to live in a society where people weigh 300lbs and have massive stomachs - And that's accepted? Being healthy is important, and you dont have to be super skinny to be healthy i totally believe that.. It's ridiculous this idea that beautiful is a woman who is super skinny - that is in itself unhealthy.

Totally know what you mean by beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all women are beautiful (irrespective of their weight). But I do think we as a society need to be conscious of what is promoted as okay.

I agree, and yet there's a big "however" that's attached. Often people believe (or act as if they do) that the way to "stamp out" obesity is to "stomp on" obese folks.

They think that laughing, jeering, cursing, and worse is what needs to be done to fix the problem - and that being less cruel somehow "promotes obesity as okay."

I think that's wrong. I think that verbally torturing a fat person doesn't do anything to rid the the world of obesity or obese folks (except maybe those few who will commit suicide).

And I don't think these people really believe what they're saying. I think their true motives are revealed in the timing of their attacks.

If people thought they were helping the world and that they were doing their rightful duty in reminding me that my obesity was not ok, then why did the harassment virtually only happen when I was doing something that would lead to reducing the obesity.

I've never gotten nearly the harassment when I did what contributed to the obesity (eating food I shouldn't be eating, sitting doing nothing or reading...)

Oh no, harassment almost always came when I was trying to do something that would likely reduce the obesity - Swimming, walking, biking, eating a salad in a restaurant (where I've heard stuff said so loud, I know they wanted me to hear - things like "Who does she think she's kidding, eating a salad - bet she eats a whole cake when she gets home.")

If confronted, they almost always try to claim it was somehow for my own good (or the good of society), as if I was supposed to be grateful for the abuse - but it makes no sense. If the plan is to iradicate obesity, you don't do it by preventing fat people from exercising in peace (or by criticizing what they wear when they do it).
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Old 07-20-2011, 01:33 AM   #74
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astrope i agree with you too... If its flattering? go for it, but majority of the time it ISNT.

So if someone really wants to "flaunt", "show off" or they just "Dont care"...get something that flatters your body type no matter you're size. Big or Small.
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Old 07-20-2011, 02:36 AM   #75
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I am sick and tired of seeing magazines with "GET THE PERFECT BIKINI BODY IN TIME FOR SUMMER" and variations thereof splashed all over the cover. Every body is a bikini body, if you have nipples and a crotch to cover, since that is the only function of a bikini. If you want to wear a bikini, all you need is the confidence to wear one.
NOBODY is going to be lying on their deathbed wishing they had judged themselves more harshly and worried more about others opinions of their weight. You might, however, wished you had spent more time with the sun on your arms and thighs relaxing on the beach and enjoying yourself.

We are all currently or formerly fat people here. Otherwise we would be on a different website. So why would a fat person judge another fat person for how they look - and more than that, for getting out and being active at a beach or pool of all things! Dont foist your ownmodesty or body acceptance issues onto other peoples bodies. As long as nobody is flashing their junk at little kids, who honestly cares. How does it affect you? And how the **** would you like it if someone did it to you?
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