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Old 07-13-2011, 02:26 PM   #31
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I posted this because I wanted to hear responses to this common occurrence (i.e. judging someone who bares plenty) from ladies that probably know what it's like to be on the receiving end of judgements.

If you don't care, more power to you! Too bad the rest of the world doesn't seem to function in that mentality. This would be a wonderfully obsolete question/occurrence if it did.

Personally, I do think it's admirable on some level - and other times, quiet frankly, I'm uncomfortable. That can be said for both heavy AND skinny-minny women who bare it all. Perhaps it's my own insecurities and envy that they're unabashedly proud of their bodies.

With that said, I don't believe for one second that others should heed to my discomforts! Heck no! - Just like I wouldn't want others to be so self-righteous to expect me to heed to theirs.

Like said several times before me from many fabulous ladies: wear whatever you want! ... Just be ready to own it because there are a lot of people that are going to give their unsolicited two cents, regardless whether or not they've been in your pant size

Again, that's just MO!
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Old 07-13-2011, 03:09 PM   #32
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I don't know if I'd use the word brave, just doesn't sound right. Confident? Sure. If it's not something I find visually appealing, I won't look at that person again, simple as that.

I don't get to the beach much but I do live somewhere where tanks and shorts are a must for summer. I feel rather rude actually, when I see heavier women wearing sleeveless tops, shorts, all the things I won't wear, because I can't help but look...I'm sure some of them think I'm judging or looking at them in a negative way, especially now that I'm thinning out and looking more of a "normal" weight, but really I'm just admiring their confidence. Like at the store last week, there was a woman who had to have been 275+lbs, wearing a strapless shirt and a short skirt. I was mindlessly staring and when she caught me she gave me a dirty look. I told her I liked her top and she still snarled at me like she thought I was really thinking "ew, gross!" but I was actually thinking about how I'm a good 100 or more lighter, yet I won't wear that stuff because I think I'm too fat to look good in it and wished I had the courage to just wear what's comfortable and screw what anybody else thinks.

I'm one of those cover up women, I don't wear long sleeves but I do prefer 3/4 sleeves when it's cool enough, and for summer, anything cap sleeved or sleeveless is a definite NO for me, as are skirts shorter than my knees and all shorts, so I usually just wear jeans. Not so comfortable in the heat. And swim suits? Forget it, I'm too shy to wear one in my own backyard, heaven forbid the neighbors (who I barely know and don't like) see.

Oh, and I'm with the rest of you, I really don't need to see it ALL, from obese/overweight OR skinny women.
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Old 07-13-2011, 03:28 PM   #33
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I haven't worn a bathing suit in over 3 years...until a couple of weeks ago. I've always been an 'average' weight, 'skinny fat' if you will, but mortified to be seen in a bathing suit (or shorts, or tank-tops...).

I'm a bit of an introvert, and making friends is hard for me, but I've made a few over the past couple of months and they invited me to go to an amusement park that had water slides. I didn't want to say 'no,' so I just bit the bullet, went out and (luckily) found a nice bikini a couple nights before the trip, and did it. I even walked around in the bottoms without any shorts or additional cover-up...and you know what? Compared to everyone else, I looked and felt normal. I blended in. People of ALL shapes and sizes were baring it and having a blast, so there was really no reason for me NOT to. After the first half-hour, I kinda stopped caring, and stopped letting it interfere with having fun.

Now I wish I had more occasions to go out to the beach!
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Old 07-13-2011, 03:44 PM   #34
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I am not sure why you want to show off a part of your body that is very unattractive. I have a rather wider midsection and I would never show that off because it has stretch marks and it is large. I find a bathing suit that accentuates my better parts and hides my not-so-pretty parts. I do not feel the need to show the world everything...including my love handles.
I seriously want to know what makes someone show off a part of their body that is rather unattractive because I do not understand it. Why not wear a one-piece suit that can hide some extra fat?
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Old 07-13-2011, 03:45 PM   #35
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I think this thread needs a visual...

what would you think if one of these women sat down next to you on the beach.





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

honestly I would snicker a little bit and whisper to whoever I was with.

Still, I believe people can wear whatever they want.

I think it's a matter of wearing something that flatters your body, and if you're obese, a bikini is not the best look. Just like someone with serious boobage would not look great in a top with the girls about to pop out. Right now there are so many cute and flattering bathing suit options with great support, that theres no reason to look bad at any size. I also think alot of "thin" women who try to squeeze themselves into tiny bikinis would look alot better in a structured one piece or tankini. JMO.

I think some slightly heavier women can look great in them, but not everyone can do it.
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Old 07-13-2011, 04:30 PM   #36
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As for the "visual" I wouldn't think twice about it. hey- they look like they are having fun- and that is what the beach is meant for!

As for the comment above- why would anyone want to show off their unattractive parts? Is it really trying to show off if you are just wearing something comfortable out to have 'fun' in??

I guess I just don't get a lot of people's opinions on this. Are stretch marks so bad when like 90% at least of adults (both men and women) probably have them?

Is a little bit of meat on our bones so bad that it shouldn't ever be seen?

Covers of magazines aren't realistic and it is so sad that a lot of people won't accept less than that in certain clothing in public....especially any type of bathing suits.
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Old 07-13-2011, 04:30 PM   #37
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That first one looks like Britney Spears o_O What's wrong with that one, anyway? She looks like maybe she's pregnant, or recently had a kid. She's toned and firm in her arms and legs, she doesn't look that bad at all. I'd kill to be like her and not have cellulite. I guess everyone's preferences are different.
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Old 07-13-2011, 04:53 PM   #38
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My rule is this- does it fit? Are you 300 pounds trying to fit in a suit made for someone weighing 175 pounds? Bad. Are you 125 pounds wearing a suite made for someone weighing 225 pounds? Bad. Are you a size two wearing a bikini in a size 2? Good. Are you a size 3xl wearing a bikini in a size 3xl? Good.

As long as your suit covers what it needs to cover (without constant tugging and pulling) and looks like it is the proper size for your body, I don't care what you wear. I also add the caveat, if you're a large chested lady, make sure you have some support up top, looking like youre going to flop out of your swimsuit, also bad.

I have no problems at all with the "visual aid" in this thread. If that suit were half that size, or she was acting like a drunken idiot, I would have a snicker and a side comment. As is? More power to her. I wish I could be that confident in a bikini.
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Old 07-13-2011, 05:01 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mimi86 View Post
That first one looks like Britney Spears o_O What's wrong with that one, anyway? She looks like maybe she's pregnant, or recently had a kid. She's toned and firm in her arms and legs, she doesn't look that bad at all. I'd kill to be like her and not have cellulite. I guess everyone's preferences are different.
You read my mind.

To respond to the initial post, I wore a bikini back when I was 160-170ish and even though I was a little self-conscious, I was around family, so I just said "to **** with it." I think if I would have been a lot more tan all over, I would have had more confidence, but being stark white on my belly and having a belly (or so I thought) made me feel even fatter.

Now I look back at the pictures and wish I was that size again, but at the same time I kind of tell myself "yeah, I really should have waited to put that on, even then"...Just goes to show that no matter the weight, you really gotta learn to love what you look like no matter what you're wearing or what size you are, or you'll never be happy.

I tell myself that when I do get to goal weight, my next goal is going to be that I have to wear a bikini 100% of the time (while out swimming)...no matter what. That way I'll get tan, and slowly realize after a few compliments (hopefully) or just being used to it, that I look good...so who cares what everyone else may be thinking -- it's just our own paranoia playing with us.
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Old 07-13-2011, 09:31 PM   #40
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I thought I would add some visual aids that will help me explain my point of view....

This woman needs to put some shorts on. I don't want to see that on anyone, I don't care what size you are...



this woman probably needs a better supportive top...but it's not too bad.



This woman, I don't think it's that bad at all. I wish I could have the confidence to pull it off.



This woman has guts. She's obviously not skinny, but she's not afraid to show off her body, and I think she looks great. Once again, the top could use a little more support, but I think the suit is tasteful and cute and fits her body well. I mean honestly, even if you covered her stomach with lycra, it would still be there and it would still be just as big. Why should it matter? I think she looks fine just the way she is. lol




if only my stomach looked like that. Mine is all lumpy and loose and covered in stretch marks....lol
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Old 07-13-2011, 09:52 PM   #41
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DivineFidelity- that first pic is funny and I don't care how big she is...her suit is swimming in her crack. Not a good day to be her bathing suit.
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Old 07-13-2011, 10:01 PM   #42
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Oh, and this post has made me SO MAD at myself.

Last year in May I was 180 pounds. This year in May I was 240 pounds. I'm so mad at myself for gaining back 60 of the 71 pounds that I originally lost. I'm learning now that some of it is probably because of my gallbladder issues, but I know that's not it entirely.

Last year in May (2010) I went out and bought myself a bikini. Here is a picture of it, and me back then.



and the part that makes me mad is that I DIDN'T EVEN WEAR IT! I thought that I looked huge and awful and I wore it once with a shirt and shorts over it to hide what I thought was my huge jiggly stomach.

Here is a picture of me in it now....and I'm warning you, it's bad.

(click picture)

241 lbs (1).jpg

I look like a sausage. Looking at how I look now, I wish I had the guts to wear it back then when it didn't look half bad. Obviously now, it would not be a good look for me...and that's fine I can be okay with that. I found a tasteful, cute swimsuit that I feel looks a lot better on my body the way it is right now, and that I feel I will be much more comfortable in...

(click picture)

241 lbs (4).jpg

I think right now, bikinis just aren't for me. If some girl my size wants to wear one, go right ahead...if you've got the confidence to pull it off then good for you, but I sure don't.
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Last edited by DivineFidelity : 07-13-2011 at 10:08 PM. Reason: photos too big
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Old 07-13-2011, 10:09 PM   #43
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The visual posts... I wouldn't say or think anything. I think that the last one (not you Divine!) is a problem. Not because she's in a bikini, but because she's in a bikini that is truly way too small for her! Wear what you want, but wear the right size. Nobody wants to see your private bits hanging out for all the world to see!
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Old 07-13-2011, 10:18 PM   #44
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Quote:
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I am not sure why you want to show off a part of your body that is very unattractive.
But where do you draw the line between showing off what's unattractive, and trying to cover up everything that isn't attractive.

I think when you make it about "attractiveness" (dressing for everyone else besides yourself) it's very easy to feel that even a track suit doesn't provide enough coverage.

And that's the mentality I was raised with - "why would you want to show off your unnatractive body" meant "why would you want to go to the beach where there's no way to hide your unattractive body."

If "attractive" becomes an obligation, it means that if you're unattractive, you're obligated to never show off (or even never show your face).

I'd rather see an obese woman wearing a too-small suit, than staying home because she's too embarassed to let anyone see her arms and her legs.

I've been brainwashed by my family and culture to believe I'm morally obligated to protect the masses from the horror that is the sight of my bare flesh. I don't "believe" I should feel this way, but I do anyway. Personally, I prefer the look of swim dresses - they cover as much as possible. I also wish you could buy swimdresses with sleeves. Personally I would love that. My ideal swim suit would be lycra capris as the bottom (mid-calf length ideally). And a mid-thigh length lycra top with built-in, supportive bra, elbow-length sleeves, an empress waist and a deep sweetheart or v-neck neckline (because I've got great cleavage, and that's about the only thing I want to show off).

Even in lycra, that's going to be pretty warm on a hot day, but it's the only way for me to avoid "showing off a part of my body that's very unatrractive."

Trying a swim suit that combines comfort, function, and social acceptability is a tall order, and often a losing battle.

It's kind of sad that I envy the swimsuits of 1910, that I'd rather be covered than comfortable. I wish I didn't feel that way. I wish I could feel comfortable in a "normal" swim suit - but my choice is either a freakishly out-of-style suit, or showing off parts of my body that are very unattractive. I don't want to show them off, but I also don't want to feel obligated to try to find a skirted wrist and ankle length scuba suit.

That's not really an option, so I then have to decide which of my very unattractive bits I am most obligated to cove.

In the USA, you can't find swim suits that cover all the very unattractve bits, which is why it often feels as if the water is forbidden to the "too fat," because of the social obligation to protect others from the horror of our naked flesh (even if only the back of our knees and our batwing upperarms).


It's sad because the water is the best place for fat folk to exercise, not only for comfort and safety, but for ability. The freedom from discomfort and gravity increases the amount of exercise the person can do.

The best place for us is the most forbidden.
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Old 07-13-2011, 10:36 PM   #45
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If "attractive" becomes an obligation, it means that if you're unattractive, you're obligated to never show off (or even never show your face).
Also if you turn 40 or 50. Because time and gravity are no one's friend.

Better to quit now?
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