Pixelllate's Honesty Thread
Hi, just wanted to make a thread where I am honest with myself.
I have to confess here that I have had a temporary lapse of control this past week. I started a new job, have been looking for a new place to live, feeling lonely and the deadline to apply to grad school is approaching. I have been allowing that to take over my life, and basically giving myself permission to buy simple carb bread that has been upping my cals AND making me hungrier (how counter productive!) so that I have been eating way too much but with less satisfaction. Its not even food that I find super amazing tasting, but its more that its easy to bring home and gives me relief-an escape, but I have to realize that just because my body immediately feels stressed, that it does not mean that things are that bad-I just have to be productive and rational-my mind is logical, my body is...whiny at least at first haha.
New job-I have to thank so many here who have given me great advice. I am trying my best and want to thank you all for the strategies. I am not going to allow the stress to take over my life and bigger goals-grad school and weight. I noticed today that my boss was saying how my predecessor was "terrible" at website stuff. Thought it was kind of immature to mention that out of the blue and I noticed that she can be super critical, and then "forget" about it right after, so I cannot let someone who is a spaz make me stressed out-she's rather crazy so that's her deal and I can only work around it, but I won't take things personally.
I also came up with strategies to avoid binging at my workplace-there are a lot of grocery stores and I have trouble not eating tons of samples of cheese and white bread-which make me super ravenous. I'm going to have to avoid those grocery stores-its always the same samples at these and they make me way too hungry by the time I come home.
Grad school-I just need to work on my application. Binging or no binging is not going to change the deadline. I need to work on my personal statement and contacting professors. It is really stressful as they have not been getting back to me, but I just have to keep trying. Perhaps if I start keeping a regular diary, I can find more ideas on what to write about.
Rent-I will just have to keep on going on Craigslist to find a place.
Its not bad, its just a lot to juggle at the same time, and its been harder and harder to find people to talk to about it, so I have been using food as therapy instead. Its messed up and keeps me from being proactive, but I need to find actual solutions to real problems instead of letting these issues ruin my progress.
Thank you all for reading!
I listened to my gut and it said "You could do with less of me."