I just started a new job at a prep school for kids-grades, classes and graduation-I have been looking for one for a year now. It is stressing me out so much. The former employee, my trainer, left for grad school after sorta training me for 6 days (she had to wrap up other stuff)
So now its me and the "big boss" no middleman, and she treats me like I've been there for 5 years. She brings in college interns and stuff and tells me to give them assignments, but I can't do that because I barely know what I am doing. She'll say stuff like "Didn't I tell you to give her that assignment?" but I have been working on other things that she told me because everything is taking me so slowly.
Or sometimes the trainer taught me stuff by just telling me, or showing me once but we have to move on to other things because the kids are graduating now. So then if I ask, Can you remind me how to do this? I sometimes get a "Well I already told you but..." its quite rude I think-I write things down, but I still get confused because I don't have a firm grasp on anything. Now that there is no one but this big boss, I am so freaked out, as she is kinda neurotic and will act like everything is the most important thing ever (but will forget the nonimportant stuff like a couple hours later). The trainer told me that even though she does that, to make sure that I just do what is actually important, but the problem is that I don't even know what the important stuff is in the first place, no one is there to tell me and I never worked in education, so I can't even guess. I am so distressed because I can't ask anyone for help-no one else did what my trainer did.
I am trying to rationalize this by telling myself that the worst thing that can happen is that I am jobless, and I have been jobless before and I do have savings, so it will not be horrible. So the worst result isn't that bad.
and yet, I still feel really sick, so sick that I have been binging this whole 4th of July weekend (and no bbq food either! my social life hasn't been great post-college ha)