Boyfriend Just Broke Up With Me... Rapidly Losing Motivation
Funny how the first thing I do when he said it was over, besides crying, was log onto here and hope for someone to say something that'll make me feel better.
How am I supposed to continue with my weightloss journey when I'm now heartbroken? Why is it so easy for him to end things, and deliver the low-blow line that he still wants to be friends, when it's ANYTHING but easy for me? I have been nothing but there for him this entire time... of course he's one of those guys with tons of issues coming into the relationship, which I tried my best to support. And then, all of a sudden he doesn't need me or want me anymore? So what, you got what you wanted from me and then now you just want to be friends again?
I really need some support you guys. I'm not in the mood to go home and exercise and watch what I eat this week. I can't even put what I'm feeling into words, so I'm afraid this post sounds whiney and childish, which wasn't my goal.
But you've done the right thing - coming on here instead of diving into a bowl of ice cream. Congrats! It may sound petty and juvenile, but find motivation in showing him that you don't need him, that you can get on fine without him (and I'm sure you will - I'm sure you'll flourish!), and that you are a strong woman who is taking control of her health and her life. Think how fantastic you will look at your goal weight, how happy you will be and how hard you will have worked. And then imagine running into him somewhere - he will be amazed because you will look amazing. And while it may not be all about looks, your confidence will be sky high because you did these great things for yourself!
YOU CAN DO IT!!
Last edited by freedomreins : 07-05-2011 at 03:34 PM.
I was dumped during my diet and I fell off the wagon, I really regret it as I could be at goal by now. But now I use that thought as motivation to keep me on my regime, I just think about his face dropping when he see's me, as there was nothing else wrong with the relationship except my weight, I think about how he'll regret it when he see's me looking amazing, and see's that i'm over him. It keeps me sane and gives me something to focus on other than how bad I feel sometimes.
You don't sound whiney and childish at all, it's a natural reaction. What your feeling is grief because you lost someone you loved. What I do is I write it all down in a letter then destroy it. Its a way of getting your feelings out without looking like your insane. What you need to do is meet up with your friends, pamper yourself, ***** about men, watch your favourite movies and crap tv. If you want to binge then i'd say go for healthier options, or just think about what is going to make you feel better in the long time, junk food or showing the idiot exactly what he's missing?
I think you should keep up, and everyday remind yourself that you're doing this to better yourself. Not for anyone other than yourself.
If he didnt want to stay with you, his loss. You dont deserve to cry over a jerk. You should now find motivation in losing the weight and showing him what he's missing on. Then when you have a hot man by your side and he realizes that could've been him, it'll burn him more than drowning your sorrows in food ever could.
And I agree with IsobelRose22 pamper yourself, go out, have fun, do what you wanted to do but couldnt when with him. Get your hair done, your nails done, get a massage! Enjoy life, dont ever let a man hold you down, especially not when you have so much to give the world.
I hope you pull through this, if you ever need anything or anyone to talk to, I am here for you. xo
__________________ Goal Weight: One cheerleader for every 5lb lost!
I'm so sorry to hear about your heartbreak, sweetheart. /hugs
I've got to tell you, though--some of my BEST weight loss has happened right after I've been dumped. I'm sad, and then I'm pissed and I want revenge--and what better revenge is there than to show that ******* that you're better off without him?
A few of my exes were really eaten up inside by seeing how well I was doing without them, and a few tried to get back with me later and I took SO MUCH PLEASURE in shooting them down.
If you're really feeling a bum night, freeze a Greek yogurt, pop some popcorn, and chow down--feels like tons of food but without the calories.
last week i posted on here about my one night stand and the guy thinking he could do better than me after using me...and it was so hard to get back on the bandwagon and not let him stop my motivation. But the gym HELPS. the endorphines make you feel so much better. use that anger and frustration at the gym and you'll feel relieved once you leave it. Get some girlfriends to go too! that always helps...and then afterwards go out to eat and have fun! but remember to eat light and stick with proteins. youll be just fine. you're a smart, beautiful, independent woman and he screwed himself over. you have to see it from that perspective. he's the one who's ruining what HE had...and you're just moving on from something you just realized was holding you back....you can do it girl. and everyone in our TEAM SEPTEMBER 20TH CHALLENGE will help you and be there for you! dont be affraid to completely vent with us =]] especially the blue team =]] we need you!
Thank you so much for your kind words ladies. They really mean a lot to me. I am already starting to feel a bit better; although today was definitely not good for dieting. Back on the wagon tomorrow, with a vengeance
It's All about YOU NOW! God Bless you for taking him on and all his baggage, you are the better person and someday you will meet your true soulmate, trust me, IT will happen. For now, grieve, have a marguarita or two and move forward with your health plan. Try to remind yourself that all things happen for a reason (sometimes I wonder) and that you are taking away many lessons.
For me, this sort of thing was the fuel that has driven many a'weight loss ventures with a lot of success. I would picture how great I was going to look and how much I would rub it in his face. That was very helpful for my weight loss, actually.
__________________ No more scales! I am taking the scenic route...
If you exercise, your mood will improve. That heightened happiness will only last a few hours, but it's a nice break from hating everything and feeling down.
*hug* You'll get through this. Enjoy your time being single, and not having to clean up somebody else's mess (issues) all the time! You can do whatever you want - and it sounds like you want to feel better and be healthy, even if it doesn't seem that way now.
Just some personal experience, but I never stay friends with my exes. Even if the breakup wasn't particularly bad, life is just easier that way. Maybe I'm just a cold person? I dunno! They go on with their lives and I go on with mine, its much easier to get over someone if you don't have constant reminders.
In the title of your post, you say that you're rapidly losing motivation, but I wanted to share something I say all the time (and hear others say):
It's not about motivation, it's about committment.
It sounds to me like you need to recommit to yourself! It totally sucks being dumped, so do what you need to do to get over it--scream, cry, get angry, whatever!! And then commit to making this happen, for you and only you. Be strong girl!!
I believe in you. I believe in your authenticity, your uniqueness, your intensity, your wildness. I love your restlessness and your hunger. You possess the energy that, if unleashed, could transform, inspire and heal the world.
"Life is too short to not eat the foods you like, but long enough to have plenty of chances to eat healthy."
I was dumped about a month ago. IT SUCKS! And, of course, my little sister just got engaged... so all I can think about is how much it sucks that I get dumped and she gets engaged!!!
But, I have learned. When I go running, it sounds psycho, but I just keep thinking that I am going to look AMAZING and the next time I run into him, he will really feel like an idiot.
I literally imagine two things. His stupid face and how much I just want to strangle him, and the hot little dress I am going to wear to my sister's wedding. And I just keep running and thinking...
But-this is the time for you to reconnect with your girlfriends and rediscover yourself. I just started volunteering at an animal shelter and I am re-organizing and decorating my house. Anything to stay busy and make myself a better person.
I'm so sorry, I can hear how sad and sorry you are about this. I'm sorry you have to go through this and that he wasn't the guy you hoped he would be.
Eating 'bad' food and not exercising is really only going to make you feel worse. Use this as a catalyst for change in your life. Even though it wasn't a change you wanted or welcomed, you can turn it around and use it to motivate you.