Both of my parents have undergone weight loss surgery. At his highest, my father weighed over 600 pounds. My brother is also probably going to have to have surgery soon; at 20, he is only 15 pounds shy of 400 pounds.
I don't blame genetics, but I do blame terrible eating habits. It makes me angry that my parents allowed my brother and I to follow in their footsteps. Since I came to college and left my nutritionless household, I actually lost 15 pounds without any effort. I want to break free from my bad roots.
I don't blame my parents, because I'm the one who decides what I put in my mouth and whether or not I sit on the couch all day or get up and do something, but my mother instilled horrible eating habits in me. I have memories of being 3 years old, eating McDonalds and cookies. I lived with her for 4 years before going to live with my dad, but I still saw her often. Every time I visited with her, we would go through a drive thru and sit at the house. I wasn't encouraged to play sports, and when I did, I was allowed to quit. I have many regrets- I wish my parents wouldn't have let me quit dance, I wish I would have stuck with soccer... it definitely made it much more difficult.
My sister contributed greatly to my weight gain, but it wasn;t her fault she had a binge eating disorder and being her best friend i naturally ate when she did.
I wish my parents wouldn't have let me quit dance, I wish I would have stuck with soccer... it definitely made it much more difficult.
I used to dance as well and my biggest regret is that nobody pushed me to continue it, i figured if nobody was interested in me doing it then i shouldnt do it
I used to dance as well and my biggest regret is that nobody pushed me to continue it, i figured if nobody was interested in me doing it then i shouldnt do it
Totally understand. I was so young, I had no idea what I was doing by quitting. I wish I would have stuck with it!!
Totally understand. I was so young, I had no idea what I was doing by quitting. I wish I would have stuck with it!!
I dont care that i'm 21, the moment i shed the extra weight, im taking dancing classes. Its never too late to go back, i just want to be fit before i go back, especially since i want to take ballet someday
You should too
I don't blame my parents, but I recognize that watching their eating habits definitely impacted the way I eat and look at myself. I grew up in an eating-disordered household, in kind of the opposite way you'd expect. My dad was the one to suffer from anorexia and bulimia since he was a teenager, and while he was never critical about my weight at all, I still watched him as he would fast for days on end and then go on binges. It was always sort of awkward when I noticed he weighed less than I did at times. He always told me I was beautiful, never made any negative comments about my weight or my eating, but when you watch someone who weighs less than you tell himself he's fat and disgusting, you start to wonder what that means about your body. My mother, meanwhile, is a compulsive overeater and has been overweight all my life. She's the kind of person who does everything for everyone else, exhausts herself taking care of others, and does nothing for herself except eat. My eating habits greatly resemble hers, while my body image fits more along with my dad's view of himself.
I know and appreciate that they made a huge effort to boost my self-esteem and nutritional awareness by explicitly telling me about these things, but of course the implicit messages they sent were just as, if not more, influential on my little child brain.
It's good to know why you have problems and where they originate from, definitely, though playing the blame game isn't going to help anything. Ultimately, you're the one choosing not to change your thoughts and behaviors.
I dont care that i'm 21, the moment i shed the extra weight, im taking dancing classes. Its never too late to go back, i just want to be fit before i go back, especially since i want to take ballet someday
You should too
I think you're right. I'm always trying to think of an adult education class I would like to take, and my mind always goes back to dancing- it's my fitness and weight holding me back right now. I think I would like to make dance classes a goal... thanks for suggesting it!
I think you're right. I'm always trying to think of an adult education class I would like to take, and my mind always goes back to dancing- it's my fitness and weight holding me back right now. I think I would like to make dance classes a goal... thanks for suggesting it!
Np, i know its one of my goals that keeps me going, that and the joy of basking in the sun at the beach
I don't blame my parents for my weight - I didn't break 160 until I left the house. However, I definitely blame them for my horrible body image. My father has been anorexic for 30 years, never over a BMI of 19.5. He's the kind of anorexic who loves to cook crazy big meals for others to eat, so there was never a shortage in the house. I blame him for being too lenient on my portions throughout my school years, and yet calling me fat both to my face and to my mother as soon as I hit puberty. It continued until I left for college and lost 15 lbs freshman year. He never said it out loud again. Unfortunately my mother, who had been my support in high school started telling me I was "way overweight" soon after. This crushed what was left of my body image, as I thought dad was just crazy, but she felt this way too (I was 5'7" 165 at the time) Now I'm deathly afraid I'll never feel pretty, or comfortable with my weight when I get to my goal. I'm really scared that I could get to size 6, which I'd kill for right now, and say "god, I'm FAT"
I've never blamed them for my lack of control, but I really wish I could be as happy in my body as my friends are.
I remember I went to a Chinese buffet (I got two plates: one with chinese food, the other fresh fruit) and there was this group of people who were all overweight and they had this kid who was with them and he was "normal" weight, and he ate so much that he threw up on the floor, in the restaurant. Poor kid ate too much and I bet his family kept encouraging him to eat more.
That is possibly the most horrible/disgusting thing I have ever heard. I feel really sorry for the kid.
That is possibly the most horrible/disgusting thing I have ever heard. I feel really sorry for the kid.
We totally felt bad for him. Poor kid really didn't know any better either. I was with my fiance and he said he remembers them having plates of food at their table and sending him back for more. I just can't believe that his parents/guardians would push him to eat so much and let alone let him eat that much. Good parents serve their kids one plate of food. And not pile it on.
I don’t really know why but I can’t bring myself to blame my mother or grandmother for my weight problems. They both could have done something about my weight gain when I was young (I’ve always been morbidly obese) but they just ignored it. So by the time I was old enough to make changes, I just didn’t – because I was following in their footsteps by ignoring it too. I just don’t have it in me to blame them, though. My mom went through a lot when I was growing up and my grandma was great enough to take me in during that time.
I do blame my father for a lot of my emotional problems which have led to overeating and having self esteem issues. I absolutely hold a grudge there and can’t even deny it. So if anyone gets unabashed blame and resentment from me it’s him.
I guess I feel like rooting myself in bitterness toward two people who I know genuinely love me is pointless. I understand in a lot of cases it can’t be helped to feel this way, especially extreme cases of neglect and abuse. I was always taken care of, loved, supported, and given whatever I needed (that we could afford, of course) to be made happy. So even though they didn’t stop my weight gain when it started I take comfort in the fact that I can. And I will.
Hamoco - I appreciate your position and I def understand you! I just saw how much you've lost already and CONGRATULATIONS!!! You will be in the onederlands in the new year and what an awesome new year gift to yourself!!! Congratulations. I'll be watching your progress!
HartLover - That is SO sad. Couldn't agree more. Good parents make their childs plate and don't allow them to get up and get more every 5 minutes. That is horrible.
I do blame my mom for a lot of my weight issues. When I was little she would have me stand in the kitchen and poured maple syrup or chocolate sauce straight into my mouth! I was raised by my grandparents and whenever she would visit my weight would balloon. After my high school graduation I became anorexic because of my grandparent's overly critical skinniness and at 18 went to live with my mother where the anorexia resolved and I was at a good weight. But after half a year of being with her I gained about 60lbs. I moved out and lived with my boyfriend for six months, lost 20lbs, but ended up moving back to help my mom out and gained another 30. I just moved back in with the boyfriend in our own apartment and hope that maybe I can get back to a comfortable weight. So yeah, I blame my parental figures for my weight. Honestly, from now on though, my weight is my own fault.
